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searching Jan 2014
do you wanna go to a party?
my friends pick me up in
a truck at
6 AM.
we ride to
the drug store
and rob the pharmacy,
before going off and
getting real lazy.
we smoke *** all day,
eat pills,
get jammed,
fall asleep by noon.
When we wake up it's
6 PM.
we need a drink
so we throw a brick
through the window
of the liquor store next door,
and leave it in flames as we laugh.
by midnight,
we're sleepy so we
eat some ecstasy,
I can't feel my face until
6 AM.
we fall asleep and we may weep
tomorrow we do it again.
the good times are killin me
searching Jan 2014
maybe you should find a hobby
before you keep pushing away every
******* good thing in your life.
searching Jan 2014
Once in a short while
why don't you apologize
and tell yourself sorry?
searching Jan 2014
do you want me to tell your fortune to you?
i only ask a small price.
i'll tell you from start to finish,
yes, come on, let's go?
you awoke the day you were born
with a cry upon your face,
you awoke very startled
having just left another place.
you grew up bright and curious;
the stars winked at you,
the grass was soft beneath you,
and you never let the rain get you down.
but you know all that;
you want to know what has yet to pass?
you're only twenty years old,
are you sure you're ready to go?
oh yes, a small price
i forgot, had i mentioned?
the price is your soul my dear,
are you ready for your lesson?
"Stuff happens, it is your response that counts."
is it bad that i let fortune cookies run my life?
searching Jan 2014
I awoke today startled;
my hair had turned gray.
I had wasted my whole life away,
hoping for better days.
The air around me tastes bitter,
the coffee too black,
the cup is wavering in my hands,
ready to collapse.

I awoke today after a horrid dream;
I can't quite seem to recall.
But i know that I must wake up today
Before my inevitable fall.
first draft, just finally got internet back in my life consistently and felt like i needed to get back on this site. good morning; i hope you stay awake ;)
searching Apr 2013
he's at it again
that familiar twinge in the back of his throat
the longing
hinting towards a better
when's better than now?
back and forth
like the pendulum of the clock,
another hour closer to sleep
the higher my back is against the wall.
the tickle, the scratch
my neck is becoming a rash,
heart palpitations in utter delightment
forgetting to breathe from the open excitement.
Alright, it's over,
at least now you're no longer sober.
go home and go to bed,
wake up when you want to,
**** going to work
I'm tired of spending it on my dope habit.
searching Mar 2013
i saw you
standing by those days
all energy and fervor,
you had a dream
to dream so big
you'd never see the bottom.
but when you did
i got so lost,
i let it get
into my head,
it felt so dreary
my life, so weary
holding everything,
but nothing at all.
you left me standing
on the side on
the brick sidewalk
with a gun in my hand.
i said to you,
don't leave again
you said to me,
i'm always here if you can only feel.
i put the gun
up to the sky,
shot it in the air,
and with one fell swoop of the night
my bullets and rage were no longer there.
no angels came crashing to the ground,
the world didn't end in fire,
if it ended at all it never began
and the memories of you were never there.
i step out of my robe of ice
to a world of pins and needles,
the pain it pushes deep my dear,
if only you don't forget it.
but when you whispered in
my ear from the other
side, that night i knew it oh so clearly,
there is no bottom in this life.
i knew you'd be there every moment
for better or for worse,
not out of want,
not out of love,
simply because we're always here.
my daily reminder
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