you said you'd wished we had more time
but i give you the time every day.
you don't have a moment
to sit
and glance,
and see the dance
passing between our eyes.
i wish that there could be something more
i wish that old flame would rekindle
but a spirit once lost
is a spirit hard gained
in the weary hands of the lender.
the asphalt is wet with
the rain
     (tear)
              drops falling from the blue empty sky.
my eyes are cloudy
from a haze of memories
too painful too remember keenly
but too keen to really forget.
let go of the past now, darling
it holds nothing but a place for regrets,
you'll become weary of that place
before you have time to
remember why it was you came.

i am an amalgamation of all of the things which i believe i am. i am made of illusions. my entire reality, everything i base my beliefs off are beliefs based upon my beliefs. i am nothing. i am merely an organic structure, but only as organic as i am real. made to look real but when you peel back the layers you see the farce beneath. the fabric weaves. it waves. its not entirely there all the time. its never entirely been here. and neither have i. neither have you. we are all just an imagining on a bright sunny nowhere. the question remains; why did we try at all?

Sorry I'm such
a bitter *******,
deflated and broken
down like the last ******
bounce castle
in a carnie circus.

I lost my hope somewhere
on the far side of this place,
I haven't seen it in a moment
perhaps since I've seen Pandora's face,

all the ******* has piled up
and is weighing me down
like the cumulative effect of poppies
over my entire lifespan

done and not done,
chosen but not accepted
as the norm of my
society, as the bane
of my reality.

give me another shot,
he says.
give me another hit.
just one more to soothe the pain
this awful dreary day,
when the sun shines
but it doesn't light your way,
and you'd rather lay
in bed and appeal
to the idea of a present
worth living for somewhere,
off,
in the not-too-distant future.

Get up
Off your lazy ***,
stop sitting
and moping around.
the world is only weary
if you make it so
dearest, so please
wont you get up with me?

I sit here
****** again,
alone
without a friend,
lost today
in a haze of snow,
bitter and biting at my face,
I dread the hour
That does await,
when sleep won't come
I will not partake,
I'll smoke until my lungs
are heavy,
until my conscious mind
is melted.
these dreary things
I will forget,
till the next morn comes;
let's begin again.

You left your mark
On my bedpost again,
Beautiful and
fresh with sin.

we danced under
a haze of ignorance
just hoping to hold again
holding up my hope with this.

You string me along
by the week,
I'm feeling little and meek
Without you by my side and then

You left me again
With a mark
on my bedpost
Filled up with sin.

******.
I miss you.
I know it hasn't been long.
But a lifetime has passed
since the last day of summer
since the last time i saw you.
I only gave you a passing glance.
We said hello
chatted
shot the ****
you know
like we always do.
and then it passed
I tried to call you later
but hung up before you answered
you called me back
and did the same
why?
why couldn't we talk just one more time?
It feels like so long ago that i felt anything
worth feeling
other than the cravings
withdrawals
the undying wanting
to be somewhere else
to be there with you.
I know it's not the end of the world
you're not my soul mate;
only one of them.
but you've left me feeling so alone.
how can i be a man when the only
man
i ever knew is gone?