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Mateuš Conrad May 2016
**** it, 9 quid in the bank-account, came back haunted
with my ****** arithmetic and forgetting
how i really didn't prioritise how much i spent:
20 quid in the gas tank... ah one more night...
i always write raw words when drunk
and the kaleidoscope sort of opens,
although the kaleidoscope is in black & white,
so nothing really life changing to be seen
through my side of the lens, but i'm sure
for someone, somewhere, it might be - but that's
beside the point... i have an overdraft
limit of 550 quid - ask why the bank operator said
i had a healthy relationship with money
when i pleaded with her to not take away my
2000 quid overdraft limit in one go, but reduce it
every month by a 100 quid... i was nearly -2000
quid beneath the sea... and i got out... so what's
that and 4 nights of not drinking and writing less,
and writing what i find mundane poetry... eh?
i'll get to watch the complete diet of x files at night
rather than during the way having saved up
three episodes and binging in the afternoon -
but i had to prepare myself for the reduction of
alcohol, cold turkey is kinda hard, but not when
you suddenly decide to do some gardening work
to get excess toxins from your body... gardening...
meaning cutting a 7ft tree to the stump - i was
given orders to do so, it wasn't a mad moment,
the tree was too thorny and prickled - suffocated
by vines... see... boring poetry, too much detail.
so four days with the turkey, avoiding using sleeping
pills therefore staying up all ******* night,
watch a movie, read a book, write a poem...
and then something amazing happened...
don't know why i started watching friday the 13th
part v: a new beginning... i know i know, cheesy,
80s gore and the ****** Doo gang of helpless teenagers,
but that was the aura of pop gore back in that decade,
in the 70s.. the Exorcist and Omen, religious themes,
no! no! this is not going to be a discussion session
on mixing poetry and cinema like James Franco talking
with Frank Bidart... no... what got me from this music...
the absence of 80s diversity in music that's remembered,
because boys said in the 80s: that's cheesy, yet they danced,
they kept the dark, character building bands, angst synth,
whatever, Depeche Mode, the Cure, the Smiths,
that's what was passed down, A-Ha and Duran Duran
on a similar scale, but the latter two by girls...
i can cite Visage, and obviously Europe's final countdown,
Bryan Adams and what not... all the Cheese Disco (it had
to be an oldie word used)... but i mean...
who would have thought that a quirky dance of a girl
in the bedroom (oh yeah, and the Alan  Parsons project,
siouxsie sioux and the banshees, etc. etc.) listening
to Pseudo Echo's song His Eyes got me ticklish
with infatuation as to find the ****** song... enter...
the mighty internet! the best patch of to forage like
rabbit... the track ain't bad... if you're comparing music
within a genre there's a certain feel to it, you don't
go and compare it within trans genre parameters...
now wouldn't we all love to just back the **** up
and talk TRANSGENRE of music rather than what's
happening in the ***** tree oasis in the desert of politics?
compare it with Visage and Kraftwerk, well -

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