Wee Angus on his wae frae work
would hit tha pub fa a perk
O' Tennents lager frae tha keg
whiles chatting up tha barmaid Meg
A pint or twa there wae friens
a' bleathering awa like scholars an Deans
Debators O Parlimentary views
Ministers preaching o'er tha pews
Wae drink in hand they'd laugh their fill
tha glory Mead upon their bill
Yelping like some bairney pups
catching breeths atween their sups.

(nae wiser a man than yin filled wae ale
Nae greater a time than while drinking frae tha Grail.)

In football games they A' would linger
or singing songs for all's a singer
Nae matter how bad tha voice
a' would request their favorite choice
Happy all wae drink in hand
while holding up the bar they stand
In rattled curses tae tha bumping airms
while viewing o'er some lassies chairms
Whispering oot all dreams an desires
that drink within them all inspires
An' Angus kens that soon or late
he tae hame must tak tha gate.

Kenning tae deep doun inside
his drunken breath he'd better hide
Saying fareweel tae friens and foes
leaing ahind tha pub's warm burning coals
Doun he stummels tae tha chippy
tha air ootside tis crisp an nippy
Making him drunker than afore
he side steps frae door tae door
Eating his fish supper, enjoying each bite
thinking aboot all that's happened tha night.
Till there he rouns tha corner street
His hame sae warmly it does greet,
Falling o'er tha step ootside his hame
Tha door it opens, Behold his sullen Dame
Trying tae act sober wae all his might
afore his wifie here tha night
But she's nae fool nor blind tae see
his daft antics, his blabbering plea.

In comes Angus wae words O' love
tae face tha thumping slap an shove
Her roaring voice would put fear intae tha Deil
Hear wee Angus weep an squeal.

(What type O' life drink it brings
that great at first yet later stings
What worth has man tae waste his life
wae drinks illusions an its strife.
Sooner or later as true as Hell
Yin cannie live save by its spell
getting worse an worse day by day
while friens an family turn away
An Angus wheither he kens or no
has drifted where tha drunkards go
An time shall tell what fate bestows
for tha Curse O Ale, nae man knows.)

Alisdaire O'Caoimph

in my pressence
you'll see me drinking tennents
in the pub
not in a nightclub
switching to whiskey  
its quite risky
because i get frisky
so i'll drink gin
it is a sin
i just cant win
had some smirnoff
now im about to fall off
my bar stool
as i go to play pool
looking like a fool
i stumple out the bar
and aproch my car
the big five o in the far
see me and take action
i try to make a distraction
so i can start my extraction
this sparks an unwanted attraction
from the faction and an interaction
i start to fight
and notice his hight
i was like oh *****
Now getting lifted
which i kinda requested
as i shouted i was being molested
canna believe that the peev
on this fine eve had made me nieve
as i greave in the car with police
as i waint for release
started with a pint of tennents
and ended with a custodial sentence

One more spike, a bit more gear
one more tin of Tennents beer and
one more monkey laughs at me
I see only what I want to see.

If only I could see at all,
I wouldn't bang my head against the
walls that are not there
wouldn't pull my hair out at the roots.

I shoot another fix of pick me up to fall
into a rapture,
which captures my imagination
and disseminates the information seen through eyes that
do not see,
into a brain which to all intents and purposes,
no longer belongs to me.
I would be and will be one day,
okay maybe not today but one day when the
movements of the stars align my sun will shine
and I'll be fine.

I tell myself these things
it brings me comfort when there's nothing more that
I can lose,
sometimes I whistle too and as I buy more tins,
more gear and pins
these things begin again.