See I wanted to write about you and everything that I silently picked up on up
if you're wondering what I picked up on
Body language and cues
The way you tensed up when you were about to hear bad news
how it at times it came crashing down and you didn't know what to do
I reassured you the best way I could
when you're concentrating or deep in thought about something
( I knew not to disturb you )
opening up to anyone was a task in itself
you hated doing that / I understood
The way you like to sing off key you think you sounded horrible singing wise
Personally, to me, I thought you sounded good
you told me a lot of info about yourself gradually over the months we got to know each other
I told you a lot of things as well
but one thing is for sure I picked up on several things you weren't aware of and I'd never tell you this
but you're easy to read just like a book
if you're annoyed, angry or upset
you might think oh no one cared or noticed
as it was written all over your face meaning you had the most readable ****** expressions
if you're wondering how I knew about your moods
it's simple really I could tell in the tone of your voice
if you were about to cry you had a certain tone of voice that suggested quivering in I'm about break down and cry tone of voice or how you were upset you had a certain way of behaving that let me know either to give you space or to comfort you
if you were mad ( depending on what the issue was / who the individual was and how long ago it was in addition to the details determined everything )
how you'd need space or you felt upset / still brought up the issue no matter how long ago said everything
and how could I forget your favorite songs the way you hummed them
favorite food and snacks
I still remember the details that you told me
the way we both know I'm fine or I'm okay
is a complete lie when either one of us
is upset mostly you though
when you're upset or down it's like I can sense that your energy is off / vibes are off some way or another
but one thing about our friendship is how we told each other several things
and because of that I still remember how you react
your dreams and what your plans for the future were
how you handled relationships
Have you ever wondered what it takes to leave your mark on this world
Wondered how many times you cross someone elses mind in a day.
How many people have walked away after meeting you, with a smile.
Do you sometimes wonder how often people think of you and what it is they remember?
Was it that time you hurt them so bad they can't erase it,
Or a moment of heartache that you helped pull them out of?
Do you wonder if you were in someones dream last night?
Was it a good one? Did you haunt them?
Or if something you said to someone mattered,
enough for them to keep going, to hold on for one more day.
I lay awake in bed and I wonder
I wonder if my life has mattered enough
To be remembered
To make a difference
To leave my mark.
I'll always wonder...
And I wish that we shared these things with each other.
i have a graveyard of letters;
relics dug up from plath’s oven
in the gaps of my ribs,
paper-cutting through the bones;
some are reduced to debris
coming undone like angels,
falling from crumbling buildings —
crumbling minds —
columns that snap
like they’re the threads of my life
nevermind the punctures,
nevermind the fall;
and fractured bones —
they all hurt
just the same.
nevermind the metaphors,
nevermind the words;
and suicide notes —
they all look
just the same.
And I still know by heart,
the way we breathed
with the sunlight scattering
off the sky,
and the way reds refracted
off your lips, darling
and off our eventual demise,
and the way i stole your first rain-kiss
and you stole it
back from mine.
And I still remember
the letters drenched
in the sea and the summer rain,
and the coffee stains
on unmade beds,
and the coastlines where
we’re yet to stay.
And I still miss the setting sun,
and the saltwater-rush
mixed with regrets
and the mornings we became the sea foams
lit by stars
But maybe it’s the sunset’s turn to love you, darling,
and it’s our turn
— The End —