DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, how many journals do you go throughout the year?

he fades
for real this time
I'm losing sleep over myself
not over him
over his rhymes
if I can prove his existence in my brain
I can't
it doesn't even exist
even if it does
still not the same
his effigy is one for the flames to eat
and for the bridge to burn
on my poems his body lays
a skeleton my feet passes in between
thoroughly
between the lines standing in the way
dust coming back to follow me
with no second thought
or maybe just one
one thought between me & myself
how many more journals can I go through?
through which I go out of throughout the year
through which I go out of thought about cleaning up
some fear
of this dust from all over my poems
so give me back my poems
the winters that went away
those are mine to keep
to show them
until the last page
of it
of it all
and don't read them
because then you'd have to call

                                                           ­                                     ------ravefeels