I will choke until I swallow...
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?

But you're pushing and shoving me.
You still love me and you pushit on me.

Rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.

Take care not to make me enter.
because if I do we both may disappear.

But you're pushing me,
Shoving me. Pushit on me.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me,
Alive when you're shoving me down.

But i'd trade it all
For just a little bit of
Piece of mind.

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see.
Never wanna see that place again.

Saw that gap again today
As you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
And you, as well.

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again.
Hands upon my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.

Just remember I will always love you,
Even as I tear your ******* throat away.
But it will end no other way.

if you pulled back my skin you'd find a layer of grey underneath.
there is nothing new in me, my blood no longer red my flesh no longer
pink just grey and worn parts like the paint thin upon an old metal dinette
set. no ash, for i have not burned, no
mold for nothing could live off of the nothing in me.

then again, there is a heavy in my chest that sits. i cradle it
with my throat (try to pushit   down) and in between
my ears again when i begin to fall asleep, it
urges no dreams but
i like the pressure on my
temples.

my lips, my cheeks like a layer
of icing on a display
cake.


every soft haired, long
fingers will pass me in strides, avert their eyes and
eventually they won't
see me
at all.

i saw the gap again today.
half of me was begging to stay.
i took care not to enter.
if i did i may have disappeared.

another man is going to have my body.
devour my flesh and break my bones.
and it aches.
my vow to celibacy and solitude is only a word away.

tell me you don't want to see me with someone else.
that only you deserve my time and space.
i'm already committed, i just await your grace.

martyr me with your tongue.
satiate me and subdue my conscience in a way only you know how.

i feel as though i belong to you.
though not you to me