People say that

i’m fun

& i’m kind.

The kind of spirit they enjoy

I hear all the talks

friend vs friend

in different

housing

-they can’t

hear what each is saying

yet,

even after the badmouthing

the namedropping

the telephone calls still come in

clear as day

for them

but, people

say

that i’m fun

& i’m the kind of person

you can count on

when the sink stops working

or the cable goes

out.

but you don’t hear my phone

ringing.

Friends Of Ours

I have never used the term
always thought it was a bit
presumptuous, it could be
considered a sign of having
few or even no acquaintances,
or pending on whom they were,
namedropping, which is worse.

I bet you’ll never get to meet
them, en passant props used
for self agrandissement often
living in grand houses or with
big cars in a photo of course.
But have you noticed, these
people disappear, frequently.

What about, you’ll never believe
who I ran into today? a child’s
game begins and you must say,
who? And before you are told,
the scene has to be set up with
a few seconds thrown in, the
entourage, one could be Fritz.

Won’t namedrop but I knew someone, if you know you know.
No teardrops but I thought that I found a matching soul.
Foolish of me, ******* love me when I’m in my prime.
Gonna keep them nameless, you ain’t worth of my time.
I’m speaking hella sharp, but I’ve been cutting ******* off.
I’ve been hanging with the stars, looking down at them from above.
You’re either with me or against me, either **** me or respect me, won’t exploit me for your own gain, won’t deliver any more pain.
That’s what I’m saying.
There’s more fakes out there than you know.
Not namedropping any though.

I only keep up with my x’s to see the progress I’ve made.
Wish I’d thought of all the x’s on the list of things I hate.
I was desperate and had nothing, you were greedy and forced-laughing.
One thing I could never respect is stirring thoughts inside my head.
And I get I’m not your type and I get your friends are cooler.
Understand I’m not a nine, don’t rain money at the jeweler.
Don’t follow your buddies’ insta, you ain’t even on my finsta.
Finna unfollow you instantly, you don’t double tap my pics now.
And don’t call if you gon’ cancel, amped me up and why was that?
Then you asking me for Franklins like I owe you anything.
I’ve seen hints and indications, that you weren’t genuine.
I just wish I trusted my gut when you dropped out on me and ghosted.
Right before my prom, should’ve spoke over that graveyard silence.
What the **** was wrong with me to let that go like nothing happened?
Oh, I know.
I had nobody else.
Least I’m not hypocritical, I offed whoever bugged me on.
Killed them with a swoop of success, brought the scissors out, cutoff.
Wonder why I’m so proud now and the answer’s clear as day.
You would too if you evolved from prey to bird of prey.
If you gon talk about me, know I didn’t have to be your frenemy.
Actually scratch that, the act is off, I’ll proudly be your enemy.
You just wanted the gleam and the glory that I had to give.
Just so you know I almost called off a whole affair for it.
See, I’m not a faker, least I admit I wanted you like that.
Many years now, I still hope somebody does you just like that.
I still don’t wish you dead, your downfall’s not what’s in my mind.
I learn from self-inflicted wounds and don’t make that mistake twice.
Won’t namedrop, it applies to more than one.
No-named hoes, I feel my worthiness now.
I lost my Madison card now, pay deserved hostility back, dropped the invisibility act, I did all you said I couldn’t.
Rubbed it in your face like snow, envy’s stinging ***? You blew it.
I could have a boyfriend but I’m good and I will find tranquility in reproving.
Reflecting about them got me irresolute and so I’m calling your BS for improving.

******* want what you have, so I make what I have known.
******* take what you offer, in exchange they give you none.
Real ****, I turn the valve off, whatever we had is gone.
You ain’t getting any of me, not even the low and worst.
Won’t namedrop, but it’s all I’ve ever truly known.
Would namedrop, but that’s against my point.
Won’t call out, can’t win once the die are thrown.
We fell out out of place, cause you pushy like dominoes.
True story, ******* only loved me when I brought them pride by association.
Long story short, only acknowledged me upon receiving shared congratulations.
So I turned my back and ******* scattered disinterested in all directions.
I’d rather look for true bonds than relish false and forced appreciation.
And I ain’t feel the need to hear them say it for finalization.
If I said I hate you for that **** that’d be an exaggeration.
Grudge’s an understatement, I could argue but want no continuation.
One day you’ll perch in the shadow I cast and have your realization.
I heard unforgiveness is unhealthy, but since I found respect for me, I’ve been feeling myself.
You’ve got every right to hate me, sure as **** you won’t exploit me, you’d be playing yourself.
It’s these no-names that reinforced my insecure soul.
You gotta lose something to be grateful for your all.
You gotta have nothing to fearlessly give your all.
And as cliché as it is, every heartbreak makes you flyer.
Every stabbing gives you scars and the scars they give you power.
I take pride in my journey to a menace from a coward.
What I lost was never mine and what is truly mine will find me.
I could wait my whole life for it, nobody’s ***** just to feel happy.