great love to me is frightening
it's all ache and burn
the
rearranging of breath & bones
justifying anything at all to see that
smile in front of me
I can't
rightfully explain it the way my knees can
or my
right hand but
I like to call it floating
I like to feel that &
sink at the same time \
it's confusing and beautiful;
hours become petals,
heartbeats are worthy and
it is cold settling after this.
it is unbreathable
when the warmth gets wasted

I stood still for a moment,
my bad

I've forgotten how it felt
When I don't busy myself
all the time
When I don't cloud my mind
with insignificant things

I'm burned out to the foundation
The easiest tasks are mountains to climb
with no energy left, nor appettite or joy
There's a  constant weight on my chest
a hohle in my tummy,
and a heart beating so fast
for a body this numb

It beats "you're not good enough"
my breath whispers "pathetic"
my hands scream "how useless"
without the energy to make a fist.

Gravity is a merciless foe
pulling you down, inevitable
Sleep means unconsciousness,
not rest
At least a little peace

I do my best to give you the love you deserve
to show you what you're worth
as no one did before

I'm scared  tho of my growing indifference
You're begining to annoy me
when I should be welcoming your love
As you love me like no one has ever done before
like I've  been wanting to be loved
Wanting
for all the time stuck up in my room,
Selth loating, piting myself
"pathetic," in ,"pathetic" out

my bad,
it's a losing game