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Mary Payson looked at her uncle, Lonk Haney, with a joyous bewilderment as she had as a child 10 years before in Timber Creek near Paris. Mary had endured the jibes from Parisienne classmates about her enormous belly button, and it hurt. Uncle Lonk wisely said nothing about Mary's freakishly-deep umbilicus except to his fellow, senior diplomats at I.C.E.: the International Czechoslovakian Embassy in Paris, France. Now, on the eve of Mary's wedding to Mason Perry, Jr., Mary (who was a ****** except for that unfortunate incident at the queen's royal castle near London, England) wondered fretfully about whether Mason was marrying her for who she was inside or merely because she possessed the deepest belly button in the world. She had accepted the fact as coincidence that Mason Perry, Jr.'s family owned the Belly Button Memorial Museum in Toronto, Ontario.

The best thing that was ever best is A Cold Day in the Lingerie Shop starring Hanson Girdle. Also, don't deny yourself the  experience of: I Was a Male Lesbian! Meet Joe Nobody: the man trapped in a woman's body (and if that weren't embarrassing enough), witness how he was compelled to admit to his wife that it was his lesbian longings that drove him to possess her physically! See Joe engage in reverse homosex as a prideful accomplishment! Lonk Haney says: “It's better than butter on a wart.”