At age 2
In my daddy's eyes I saw a fortress
A pillar of protection
The monsters in my bed feared him
At age 4
In my daddy's eyes i saw
A world spinning with seas of love and mountains of hope
the reflectiom of me
Was a precious jewel
At age 5
In my daddy's eyes I saw a hero
The fruitful productive provider
His voice of resonance an assurance
As he lifted me up and made me giggle
At age 8
In my daddy's eyes I saw
My confidant
Many stories he inspired me with
Teaching me lessons of life
As he taught me how to ride a bike
At age 10
My dad was nowhere to be found
Mum wouldnt tell me where he went
She said 'it' was complicated
I still loved him wherever he was
At age 15
my television was my dad
Teaching me all dirt
My world was spinning with despair and rejection
Adolescense was tough
Fantasising on Jlo's ****
I understood that he ran away
At age 17
I found an older girlfriend
After many rejections with the younger ones
I forgot about my dad
But when I remembered him I resented him
I missed looking into his eyes
At age 19
I remembered his lessons of life
'Money is not everything'
'If you dont get what you want,
you didnt really want it'
I didnt want to become like him
At age 20
10 years with my mother alone
And here he is standing at our door
Looking like a drenched fowl
'you have grown so tall'
Im now 20 dad
and you must be kidding
10 years and that is your first line?
I want him to go
Mum takes him in
And forgets all her hurt
I corner him at the dinner table
You are a coward dad, why did you run away
He can't even look me in the eye
Mum speaks on his behalf
"Its gonna be okay Dre"
At age 21
Deep inside i hurt
Why did you leave us?
Son, you dont understand
Sometimes you have to leave those you love the most
If you care for them
Still at 21
I cant stay anymore
I move in with my other girlfriend
This one is young and hot
The older one taught me 'game'
Dad doesnt make sense
Later in life
I swear to be a better father
But i come to realize that
Dad was the better father
I see with his eyes that sometimes you have to leave those you love the most
If you care for them
Even though they might never understand...