Lost
More than ever
6 am on a Tuesday

Asking,
where do I go?
I guess this is what you meant, huh Ana?
I’ve got to work on myself before anyone else
But I’m prone to denial and procrastination
it’s a cycle for real
Life keeps getting too real
Had a convo with my pops a few hours ago
and now the kid isn’t sure how to feel
wanting nothing but to fulfill their wish
but have no idea about where to start
too busy fooling myself that we live in
“Never Never Land”
The kid ain’t ready to grow up
Peter Pan, Peter Pan
I’ve said it before,
You’re the man!
I’m forever scuffing with my shadow
in the hopes that my present will alter from my past mistakes
but you aren’t worried about a thing huh?
Just that ***** hook and the wild boys
but in my reality,
I’m surrounded
Conflicted,
not like the one who probably forgot
something I’ll never forget
that night I spent time to write all the lines
from my mind that I thought described you
Shoutout to Lana Lang,
I really hope that man right for you.
And don’t worry you don't cross my mind too much
Words are never exchanged
so I thought maybe here you’d listen again
Fool,
remember the one rule:
Let it be…
I apologize for the lack of focus
It’s been a while I suppose.
Since I’ve called ******* on myself.
I mean what the **** am I doing?
what happened to the mentality that those teachers instilled in you
Yeah you’re ****** at the outcome of UMD
but you were supposed to dig your way out of that hole
make the comeback that was expected of you.
it’s like you’ve forgotten all of those lectures from the likes of
Rigley, Jones, Bent and Weatherhead
you’re destined for more
if you don’t believe it you’ll never achieve it
and further more,
if you don’t apply yourself you’ll never see results.
Even Ms. Sanchez said a few words that stunned you
like, “it’s just funny because I bet you procrastinate as well”
lead by example
like how you gon’ preach something you don’t practice
she’s plenty right.
disappointing right?
the fact that you keep trying to keep people from falling apart
when you are the one in fact who keeps breaking down
but they’ll never know
because you believe its not important
and you let it sit on the back burner
till it consumes you like this…
I guess this is my role.
walking down this solitary road
like I’ve nowhere else to go.

I’ll never expect a soul to understand
pen in hand,
sleepless nights in never land.

There was lightning inside me tonight,
Burning bright in electrical static.
There was thunder erupting in decibels
From my finger tips booming in havoc.
Flashing instances of light too quick to tell
If my thoughts were striking to fall
Then sitting quiet, these words appeared
In an eerie calm.

There was wind seeping out from my lips
Blowing life into paper once lifeless,
The corners would rise and drift
Like the tide would slip under a boat,
Steady she goes and keeping afloat.
As my breaths did flow evenly paced,
The salty air blew through this place
Leaving these words in haste.

There was rain dropping from my eyes
Rolling down my cheeks, dripping onto lines.
They say things may soon come clear
But my cloudy head is pretty grey, I fear.
As the tears hit and water spread,
They left a poem once they dried
As I went off to bed.