YOU SEE LAST NIGHT I WENT UP TO SPACE

TO THROW METHANE ALL OVER DAD

TO GET RID OF HIS IKD FOGIE, MAN

AND I SAW MY OLD SCHOOL MATES

WHO DECIDED TO THROW METHANE ALL OVER ME

TO GET RID OF MY JITTERING OLD FOGIE

MY MATES SAID, IF YA LIKE YOUTUBE BRIAN

GO ON YOUTUBE, NO SKIN OFF MY MY NOSE

JUST DON’T FIGHT YA HEAD, DUDE

I KNOW IT;S FUN TO TOSS METHANE ALL OVER DAD TO IMPROVE HIS NEXT LIFE

BUT WE NEED TO GET RID OF YOUR SHY YOUNG DUDE, BRIAN

ESPECIALLY IS YA LOVE YOUTUBE, AND YOU WANNA HAVE SOME FUN

YA NEED TO GET RID OF THAT ALIEN THAT IS CAPTURING YOUR FEET

YOU SEE MY MATES ARE SITTING IN THEIR CHAIRS

THINKING THEYVHAVE THE PERFECT JOB

THEY WANT TO AVOID BEING LIKE DAD, THEIR WEIRD

I HATE THESE MATES, THEY ARE ****** HOOLIGANS

I LIKE THEIR FANILY PERSON, BUT MY COOL KID DOESN’T LIKE THEIR SHY YOUNG DUDE

THERE ARE VOICES SAYING YOUR FATHER ISN’T AROUND ANYMORE ANYMORE, BRIAN

OR YOUR BROTHER ISN’T AROUND ANYMORE BRIAN

I SAY TO THEM, DUDES, I AM STILL AROUND, I AM COOL MAN

YA SEE, SOMETIMES I AM FIGHTING MY DEMONS

LIKE BY SAYING, I  WANT TO BEAT THIS YOUR STILL A YOUNG DUDE VOICE

BUT I CAN’T STAND GETTING HASSLED, I SAY TO MY OLD MATES WHEN THEY SAY

I DON’T WANT TO BE COOL, I SAY, WELL, DON’T BE COOL, SIT THERE BEING MY DADDY

CAUSE THAT IS MY LITTLE GAME, TO TAKE YOUR HOOLIGAN AWAY

AND PUT YOUR LITTLE COOL KID TO A TEASE BACK INTO YA

AND WHEN I SAY ANYTHING TO YA, YOU WILL SAY, I LIKE GOING TO BED WITH YA

YOU ARE A **** CHICK BRIAN, THIS OLD GUY SAYS

IM TELL HIM, THAT HE IS STUPID, BUT HE REFUSES TO LISTEN

CAUSE HE WANTS TO HASSLE OR TEASE ME, I CAN’T HANDLE THIS

I AM DOING MY TAPESTRY, WHILE YOU ARE SITTING THERE SMILING AT ME, LIKE A LITTLE TEASING KID DOES

YOU ARE TELLING ME, I WAS TOO SHY TO BE LIKE US, BUDDY

CAUSE, I WANT YOU TO TRY AND BE LIKE ME NOW, BRIANY

YOUR NOW, MY LITTLE BRIANY, YOUR DADS DEAD, YOUR NOT YA FAMILY’S LITTLE BRIANY NO MORE, YOUR MINE, ALL MINE

YOU SEE HE WANTS TO TREAT ME LIKE A HOOLIGAN, LIKE THE LITTLE TINY COOL KID, THAT HE IS

I AM A PERSON, WHO ENJOYS LIFE, I WANT YOU TO DO A LITTLE DANCE FOR US, PATTY

CAUSE, YOU PAT, ARE A HOOLIGAN, I AM A FANILY PERSON, WHO WANTS TO P A R T Y DUDES

YA SEE EVERY TIME  I ACT COOL, LIKE ACTING COOL, SLEEPING ON THE COUCH

MY MATE JUMPS INTO BED WITH ME, LIKE HE WAS GAY OR SOMETHING

CAUSE HE IS A GAY *******, I CAN’T STAND GAY MOTHER *******

TREATING ME LIKE A CHICK, I WAS BORN A GUY, THIS MATE, IS A HORRIBLE OLD FOGIE’S KID

AND HE IS AN OLD FOGIE’S KID AS WELL AS A DADDY’S BOY, BUT I LIKED HIM FOR THAT

HE SHOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT THAT, I KNOW I WAS A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE FAMILIES WHEN I WAS YOUNG

AND I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE FAMILIES

I AM A COOL KID WHE I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH

BUT PATS TIPS 24 KEGS OF METHANE ON ME, SAYI NG WE;RE TRYING TO RID YOUR OLD FOGIE

CAUSE HE AIN’T A DADDY’S BOY

BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE A DADDY’S BOY, CAUSE HIS DAD WAS LAZY

MY DAD ON ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS A WALKER, AND A SWIMMER, AND A VERY SOCIAL PERSON

I WALK FOR THE SAME REASON DAD DID, TO KEEP MYSELF REGULAR AND FIT

I CAN UNDERSTAND MY MATE DOESN’T WANNA BE LIKE HIS DAD, HE IS LAZY

MY DAD WOULD HELP A LOT OF KIDS, AND ALSO DIGS THE WEEDS UP BETWEEN THE CRACKS

AND I KNOW, I AM NOT AS MOTIVATED AS HIM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE LAZY

I LIKE DOING THINGS CREATIVE, CAUSE MY MATE, IS A JEALOUS OLD ****

YA SEE, I KNOW HOW TO GET THE VOICES OUT OF MY HEAD

BY MAKING THIS VOICE JITTER, I HATE THIS MATE

CAUSE I THOUGHT, THAT CANBERRA UNDERSTOOD I LIKE EXERCISING MY CREATIVE DUTY OF THIS EARTH

AND THAT IS WHAT I AM ABOUT

Devorce is easy to get,,,TOO EASY
It just takes one dissatisfied partner
To hire a devorce lawyer,
To draw up a legal paper.

The lawyer does'nt care abut the reason
As long as someone has his/her fee.
To pay the asking price.
Yes, devorce is easy to get,..but it's not free.

In most devorcement situations,
Someone's heart is made sad
Not always between the two adults,
But when children are involved, devorce is bad.

Oh listen to me, my family and friends,
Think about others, whose lives your devorce will touch,
Your parents, siblings, friends and especially your children,
All those, who in you, have placed their trust.

And remember when you
Stood before the Preacher
And said your vows
"For richer or poorer

I take you, my love,
I love you with all my heart,
Forsaking all others, I take you
Till death [not devorce] do us part."

And before your fanily, friends and God,
To one anther you promiced your life.
And your Pastor congratulated you,
And pronounced you "Husband and Wife"

But, now you stand before a judge,
No longer holding hands,
And the Justice of Peace,
With just one word, breaks the marriage band.

But, hold on just one minute,
Your marriage may have been desolved,
But you still have a BIG problem,
Don't forget, into his world,
     you brought some children

They are too young to understand
Why Mommy and Daddy are walking away,
With Mommy holdng one of their hands,
And Daddy the other; they just don't understand.

Why are Mommy and Daddy
Not speaking to each other?
Why is Mommy taking me?
And Daddy carrying my brother?

Now tears of frusration and fear
Runs down their little faces.
Why are Mommy and Daddy
Taking us to different places?

Aw yes, my friends,
Devorce is easy to get...TOO EASY TO GET
BUT, the children's sadness that follows
IS NOT EASY TO FORGET.
                        -by Jerry Howarth