Walking down the street on a sunny day,
I got my ******* my arm and I feel okay.
Heading to the bank because we're leaving LA.
It's gonna be a good, good day.

Mr. Bank Teller, how you doing today?
I'll just take my cash and be on my way.
You see I got my girl and we're leaving town.
Ain't no reason to stick around.
Next thing, it happened so fast.
The door swung open with a mighty crash.
"Put your hands up high. I'm gonna need your cash.
Let's be quick and don't half-***."

Mr. Robber, Mr. Robber
Please let me go.
Mr. Robber, Mr. Robber
Please let me go.

"Alright everybody no need to be funny.
In this bag, you're gonna put your money
and everything that you hold dear
I'm gonna take right from you here."
Whispy clouds, sky grey-blue,
I said, 'Honey, I sure do love you.
Here's what I want you to do,
take my ring never let it stray from you.'
"Robert, my love, please don't let me go.
Let's just do as we planned and go to Mexico.
Our feet in the sand, the sun in our soul,
together you and I, we can grow old."

Mr. Robber, Mr. Robber
Please let me go.
Mr. Robber, Mr. Robber
Please let me go.

Suddenly I turned my back.
I took a step and made my attack.
I grabbed him by the hands, together we danced
a unfortunate dance with much less romance.
With one fell swoop, I thwarted his plot,
forced him to surrender right there on the spot.
The people around they shouted their praise
for they would get to live to see more days.

Mr. Robber, Mr. Robber
You must go.
Mr. Robber, Mr. Robber
You must go.

In that moment when I looked lax,
Mr. Robber, well, he played his jack.
He reached at his leg, his finger was hot.
The people all cried when he fired that shot.
"Robert, my love, please be okay.
The police and paramedics are on their way.
The security gaurd, he got the robber.
Robert, don't go, you're going to be a father."
'Listen, my dear, I want you to hear me.
Where ever you go, that's where I will be.
Show our boy all the love that we have
and never ever let him forget his Dad.'

Dead Robert, Dead Robert
Why'd you go?
Dead Robert, Dead Robert
Don't you know?
Dead Robert, Dead Robert
Why'd you go?
Dead Robert, Dead Robert
Don't you know?

'Hands off,' says the bag of cash to the robber.
Or, wishes it could have said,
Because it was an inanimate object,
While the robber was not.
The bag of cash was just a cotton satchel
While the robber was all flesh and blood.

'Where are you taking me?' the bag of cash silently wails.
It doesn't see the light of day
When the robber stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Alone, the bag of cash occasionally jumps up in the darkness
As the robber's sidekick -- his car
Rushes him to an alien place.

'I have been forsaken,' the bag of cash mopes.
Once the robber takes it out,
The bag of cash will have to die.
It cannot imagine the horrifying thought
Of the robber slitting him open.
Its organs -- the wads of cash -- will all spill out in a puddle.
What did the bag of cash deserve
To meet with such terrible fate?

But the bag of cash hears a gunshot
Once, twice, and thrice.
And a flicker of hope lights up within it.
It sees the light of day again as the trunk opens
And, to its delight, sees the robber
Cuffed by the wrist and wearing a scowl.

'I can go home now,' thinks the bag of cash,
As the police officer takes it into his arms.
And once it's home, back in the vault
It can relay the frightening experience
To other bags of cash, bursting with paper bills and eagerness.