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Carl Velasco Nov 2017
I feel like a failure today

Dancing around in my underwear



Open the fridge: junk food.

Don’t want to eat it. Take it, eat it anyway



Are you my conscience?

Tell me where my wrists are, then.



So it sounds like I’m

Stuck. I’m too good at life to feel depressed, but



Here it is, like a medal that finds itself on my neck every morning

Heavy on my ribcage.


It's either crippling sadness or abnormal, sudden fits of joy.

No balance yet. Furrowing in the middle is messy.



Zero friends. No boyfriend.

So bored. For the first time ever



I laughed while jerking off

Because what’s the point



Of pleasure.

Neverends, pleasure.



I open an unread book, then I

Close. Open another. Close again



Watch TV for a while

Wash my face



Look at old photographs of

My mother.



There’s this one. Me, a child.

My mouth singing to her hairbrush, pretending it's a mic.


Then another, me about to

Eat cake



And my mother

In work clothes



Smiling for the picture, cutting

The cake. I wonder how



Much she bought it for at the time.

I wonder



What people thought in the ‘90s

When they see a girl with short hair



Bringing cake home, holding

It by the string, suspended



Like a present.

It’s a nice photo.



It’s one of the nicest photos

I’ve seen of my mother.



Today the sun is out

For a while.



Maybe sunlight can help

Me feel anything



Other than dread.

I lust. I falter.



I put the junk food foils in the trash.

I feed the birds and, I praise



The Lord.

Sorry, lord



The breadth of your kingdom

Is lost in plain, bored me.
Eevee  Sep 2018
Books
Eevee Sep 2018
My life is like a book.
Neverends,
Never telles you what happened,
or what’s wrong.

You will never hear me complain about things,
Or hear me tell *** people I hate my life,
I will keep my mouth closed,
And hope that no one knows what I am thinking.

I could tell them what’s bugging me,
I could tell them about my leg,
About my heart,
About the pain I feel.
I could do this stuff,
Yet I choose pain then help every time,
I listen to my friends problem,
And add to the collection of sad story’s and pain.

I will look death in the eyes over and over again,
And stil come back.
I could walk on fire and feel nothing,
But when it comes to the heart,
That’s everyone’s weakness.

My life is like a book that never lends,
You can add you story to my library,
I could add it my sad story.
dilshé May 2021
You'll never be this young again

That youthful bliss slowly fades away

You won't see miraculous things the same

Will my eyes glisten when I listen,
       to The Strokes on replay?


Your skin'll alter & your heart grows faint

Wisdom replaces & it chases
silly thoughts to grey

No, nothing will eternally remain..

An inevitable reality
     that drives me insane.


So don't let these days go to waste

Do what you couldn't do yesterday

Do what you can't do in a decade

No matter how old you are at this stage

That invincible feeling that neverends
         is ending as the sand of your hourglass descends.

& Though things are changing without your consent

You have the choice of forever remaining content :)
#inevitable #youth #today ##########

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