Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do, be my guest you can

I have to say you've lost your looks
Your folks are all a bunch of crooks
And it seems your teeth have all gone green

And if he is your choice in men
I would advise to think again
But if you're sure then please feel free Jolene

He farts a bit in his sleep
At times it's all I do to keep
From shoving a big cork right up his ***

But if you want to take him on
Go ahead I'll cheer you on
I'll even contribute a little sum

He sits around here drinking beer
To fix the gate he takes all year
He's got the biggest belly you have ever seen

But if you think he's right for you
Then I'll raise a glass or two
He's yours with pleasure take him now Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Do you really want to take my man?
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
If you do be my guest you can

“jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene…”
dolly parton belted away

i sped past a field
another field
horses whipped their tails in a fury

i sung along,
“jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene…”

the sky was menacing
and finally opened up,
cried onto my windshield
my wipers worked double time

a sticky kind of rain,
where the air is so warm and humid
that it feels like a fleece blanket;
the best kind of rain

i pulled onto the shoulder
and danced up and down the yellow lines
because that’s just what you do
in this kind of rain

“jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene…”
dolly parton serenaded me
as i put on a show
for lazy cows and wayward dogs

and i screamed along with the song
“you could have your choice of men
but i could never love again
he’s the only one for me, jolene”*
the rain and my dancing
became an entangled, erratic mess

as i pulled away, wet and cold,
i ejected the CD that he made for me,
threw it out the window
and ran it over
three times, for good measure

i ******* hate jolene