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adele horn  Jan 2010
bloodshame
adele horn Jan 2010
i know what i am,
to you.
an embarrasment,
don't let the ladies from the church,
hear that i dont believe in god.
you have dragged me,
to shrinks,
to priests,
convinced i am of the devil,
convinced i was molested.
convinced that there is something to be fixed.

all the while,
i had known,
that my disease was not of the mind.
i was not diseased at all!

i was wearing black,
because i liked it.
i loved a woman,
because she made me happy.
i have ink on my skin,
because its beautifull.
i have steel in my flesh,
because it appeals to me.
i am an atheist,
because it makes sense.

but lo!
shield your gaze from me.
cover your children's ears.
suspect that they are gay,
while you are at it,
it rubs off you know.

push your head into that hole,
stick your fingers in your ears,
and sing a ditty to drown me out.

cut me off.
frankly, i dont care.
i am done explaining.
no longer,
can i fake a placid demeanor,
around the dinner table,
to encourage your beliefs.

i know you think,
its all attention seeking.

equipped with this,
my mother,
my sister,
i will not squirm under your gaze any more.
i cannot conform,
to your ideas,
of a daughter,
of a sister,
of a wife,
of a woman.

i fly proudly in the face of your disaproval,
because i know,
every step i take towards your shackles,
is a step away from my destiny.
Hate is a strong word that musters a listened repetivness....
Why beat the same drum must get tiring or you feel old...
Truth be told I cant hear you.... Out of cherished choice.....
Your distant taunts make the best of your lost voice....
Where I am a person worthy of kindness and affection....
Will be left in your lies of perfect perception...
You can not hurt me I can finally leave by decision....
Well i guess you can have your won mission...
Ill be gone and you can love your Korean joke......
Be left at night to ***** and tokes...
While you hate and say in not the perfection you chose...
All i will leave is the sound of a door ill close.....
Behind your hate and constant disaproval...
I built a machine capable of my removal.....
That is all no more words no more promises....
Eventually everyone will get sick of absorbing your losses....
Speen Cough Jul 2015
Come with me and take a ride through my own mind
something sinical working inside always makes me cry
for you this all seems to be far too easy but in the real life it's not laughing joke
I sit in my room all night and try hard not to choke
Pressure is building and lights burning low
what the heck is this smoke? I'm not average folks
I'm no run of the mill so lets head to the hill
Watch the cars rushing by always tryin to get somewhere
long winding roads that never lead anywhere
Plagued with these memories and spider web nightmares
I claw at my mind and I try to pick it out
but this is just the first act of this 3 act play
stick around and maybe you'll find the sun ray
I worked really hard, spent long days in dismay
it's all about life and it's called heartbreak highway

I tried pictureing myself without you
but it always came out wrong
What a curious way to show devotion
to someone you'll never have
when lights go dim and curtains call
we'll wish that we could have it all
but heartbreak highways in the way
and it'll never go away

I talk about lighthouses you might wonder why
they represent hope through the dark gloomy sky
that's something you gave me but you take it away
every time you say something about that one night
lets skip to the end cause act two's really dismal
it's running away because of disaproval
The soul leaves the body but comes back  to find
the pain of the world and my demons at arms
act 3's resolution and you who you are
there's a sparkle of hope and you've traveled so far
the end seems so happy if you want it that way
you merge to the right and get off hearbreak highway
you finally move on and your victory throng
it's all taken place in the span of this song
we've worked really hard, not much left in dismay
and this is the close of heartbreak highway

— The End —