What Is ‘Is’?


 -Travis-Philosopher Major
 -Arianna-Pre-Vet

Arianna asks Travis about his Thanksgiving but soon after they begin to talk about the ideals of Philosophy. The following is an account of the conversation that took place...

Arianna
But what ‘is to think....’ I feel like if I just question EVERYTHING then I’ll be set.
I feel like philosophy is a circle of never ending questions.
Travis
It is! It is an attempt to understand the truth! It is a love for wisdom!
Arianna
Through questions?
Travis
While yes, how else would you meet your 'ends'?
Arianna
Hahaha, so it can be thought of as a series of questions?
Travis
Perhaps. Descartes was able to narrow everything he thought and knew about the world into one phrase, 'I think therefore I am'.
Arianna
Is that saying that everything you think ‘you are’?
Travis
You are because you think.
Arianna
I am what?
Travis
You are ‘you’, however, you are not I.
Arianna
Ahh...Hahaha...What if two people think exactly the same thought though? That I mean by, Person 1 is still Person 1, and Person 2 is still Person 2, and yet they are different but are able to think the same thought?
Travis
You got something going there Arianna, however, I would argue that no two people have exactly the same thought. They may think about the same exact thing, but each thought exists 'for itself' as well as 'for the subject'. Hence, two subjects, one must assume two separate 'thoughts'. As for your second dilemma, I agree. Each are the same, 'One', as well as an 'also', the 'other'. Each existing 'for itself' as well as 'for an other'.
Arianna
hahaha hmm... hahaha... whaaat. How can a thought exist for a subject?
Travis
For whom then would the thought exist for?
Arianna
For the person who thought up the thought.
Travis
You just answered your own question.
Arianna
To execute into an action?
Travis
Say more.
Arianna
Well then, why does a thought exist ‘for itself’, Travis?
Travis
Because the ‘thought’ must retain its own 'essence'; its own 'being'. Whatever this thought may be, be it a 'Cupcake', then this newly thought up 'Cupcake thought' must retain its own 'Cupcakeness'.
Arianna
hahaha...but if a thought only exists so it can be turned into an action, why else would we think a thought, that is, if we didn’t want this thought to develop into an action?
Travis
Well, let me explain. We desire our 'objects of desire'. I desire cupcakes. I get this image of a cupcake in my head and its 'deliciousness'. I now take this desire and transcend it, take my thought and convert it into a mechanical form, the action. I would say the action is merely a consequence of our 'thoughts' and 'desires'.
Arianna
hmm I think I agree.
Travis
It is funny too, if you think about Ari, if you think about the Catholic churches and their rituals
Arianna
What do you mean by?
Travis
Well, they eat bread and they drink wine.
Arianna
That is right. The body and blood of christ
Travis
They desire to be a part of Jesus' spirit, so to fulfill their desire they eat his ‘body’ and drink his ‘blood’; they destroy it and make it a part of themselves. Hegel says that this is the relationship between people. This 'Struggle to the Death' for the sole purpose to 'be for yourself'.
You still wanna take a philosophy class?
Arianna
Wait...haha. No I don’t. I wouldn’t MIND it, but it would probably cause brain aneurisms. Explain this ‘struggle to the death’ more.
Travis
While yes, when two self-consciousness’ come into contact with one another, a duel erupts and both struggle to abolish the other for the purpose of realizing its own ‘truth’ and to exist ‘for itself’; both work to **** the other off just for their owns satisfaction and selfish desires to see themselves as independent.
Arianna
hahaha what No! I don’t try to **** off you or Jaclyn!
Travis
But you do, self-consciously at least.
Arianna
No way, no!
Travis
According to Hegel’s ‘Phenomenology of Spirit’ you do.
Arianna
I respect your thoughts because they are so different, but I just continue my way of thinking, that is all.
Travis
I interpret it as an active process. It is not necessarily 'killing' per se. To '****' off a ‘self-consciousness', your not really killing the person off, per se.
Arianna
What are we killing? The other persons thought process? Their ideas?
Travis
It gets confusing. The way that I interpret it is that we **** of their existence by being totally independent and for ourselves. So in a relationship between a master and slave, or a lord and bondsman, this is the struggle that takes place. This is the ‘Struggle to the Death!”

Im not a good poet but I want to get this off my chest.
Maybe this is too much of a blog. If so, I am sorry.
Nobody has to read it!
I don't mean to misuse this service or to make anyone mad.
I am just not good at poetry
But I believe my words have a rhythm to them.

This is a long and boring post.
Making this post is part of my healing
Even if nobody reads it.

I met a psychopath, I don't use that term lightly
He had been in prison for ****** against his 7 year old daughter
A monster and what most people often call a baby ******.

What was wrong with me, that I did not bolt away like a wild horse?
What made me stay? Is it my Tao to be in their spell forever?
I mean the pedophiles that abused me now forty years ago?

How could I have blocked out his crime?
Where was my outrage for the victim?

He is in Seattle, I am in Minneapolis
But we played cards for 7 months
When he showed me his hand,
I suddenly realized who and what he was.
And I was struck with a sense of horror.

Psychopaths are always charming, at first.
They fool a lot of people. He fooled me.
And I can't get over it.

I broke free, galloped away, but had irreversible damage.
I could not eat or sleep. I was on edge.
I felt polluted, I felt ashamed, I felt gullible
It is why I have the diagnosis of PTSD
because my entire childhood was filled
To the rafters with abuse and this psychopath
Touched upon that in a major way.
They call it a "Trigger" in psychology.

I thought I had burned that house down
But my naïveté and poor boundaries led me
From the paradise of my home
To this psychopath's perverse thinking.
What a sick *******.
I can't even describe
how perverse it got towards the end
So I won't even bother.
Why dwell on a psychopaths sick mind?

I was very sick and in a crisis for ten days
When I broke it off with him.

My last email to him was that,
God is real and that he is going to Hell.
He excuses his behavior with
Bible verses.
That's not going to help him
On judgement day.
He also will suffer karma until
He learns his lesson.
Prison was not enough to teach him

Im starting to sit back and take in the lesson
I've decided that for my own safety
I need to get a lot more paranoid because
Baby rapists and evil people do exist
And I have no radar and no set of boundaries.
Because I was abused so much as a child.

I downloaded an App that lists all
The ****** predators near your home
There are a lot of them and some look like
Your average guy, like the pedophiles who abused me.
Nobody next store but in Osceola, 5 minutes away.

And what about Jared Fogel? Is everyone a pervert?
Why do adult ( mostly men ) need to sexualize children?

I am restricting my easy going temperament
He took what was left of my innocence.
My heart is healing and I have vowed
Not to let him or his sickness
To ruin my good temperament.
Nor my Peace of Mind.

Lastly, I realize that it was by the Grace of God
That I found a loving husband
A man who truly cares, truly loves
In a way I never felt as a child.

As an abuse survivor, the statistics
For me to find a suitable relationship
were slim.
But my mother always told me
To respect myself.

But here we are, 31 years together
Or what my science mind calls
60% of our lives. We are 53.

I don't know how I found "the one"
A broken heart is so visceral and
With so much angst that I feel fortunate
That I've been spared that experience.

We met in Martial Arts class
I had met him at age 19 and he asked me out
I took him up on that offer when we were 22
I worked for my black belt in Tae Kwon Do
He was working on his 2nd degree blackbelt
We trained together for many hours
We hung out.
Ha ha, our first date was to see
The Karate Kid! Also plenty of Bruce Lee!
My husband began martial arts because
Of Bruce Lee.
I started martial arts for self defense
Having been abused by so many men
Made me want to never happen again.

Nice trip down memory lane
Back to the psychopath.
I don't have children and
I am not around any children.

I went to the State Fair, and saw some girls
Only 7 years old, like the psychopath's daughter
When he started his predation on her.  
I felt physically ill that a child of that age
Would have to deal with a grown man
And her father, on too of that.
It is beyond imagination.
I was abused at age 11 and 7 seems
Awfully young. Poor girl.

I felt a sense of nausea when looking at these little girls
That I had befriended a ****** perpetrator
Entirely negating his victims experience.
What was I thinking?

I feel almost like I am guilty because I associated with him.
I feel horrible that I had any relationship
With such a dark and bleak soul.

God bless his daughter out there somewhere
She is now in her 20s
His children are in their 20s and I think
When he has grandchildren he might re offend
I need to stop this and have decided
To contact CPS, and write a letter of concern
Every six months until he has grandchildren

It's the very least I can do.
I've taken a personal interest and
I vow to protect his future grandchildren
From ******, a crime he is not sorry about
He has no remorse, he does not repent
And in that way he can reoffend

Let me go back to my life now
It is almost Fall
And the trees will be brilliant
Thank God, that I realize
I need to out much tighter boundaries
Around myself because being gullible
Is going to get me killed

Thankfully I am not being stalked
Thankfully my life is not in danger
Thankfully we live half a continent away

Let me hold my husband's hand
Let me remember what's important
Let me remember that Im safe
Let me recover from the emotions
Of horror and dread, that have kept me
From eating and sleeping.

Im a bit of a yogini
And I do yoga Nidra
I do meditation
I take refuge in Buddha
I have a faith in Christ
These things all help.

Let the heavens forgive me
For ever getting involved
With a psychopath and for not
Giving his daughter's abuse
A second thought.

This has altered my personality
I am now an activist for victims
Of childhood violence.

I will hear their voices in a way
That is healthy and safe.

Safe. A good place to be!

If you've made it to the end of
This post, I give you my sincere
Thanks and if you did not read my post
I also give you thanks.

~Arianna