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Mateuš Conrad Oct 2021
i've made a runner from modernity...
some presence with new mediums was a requirement,
obviously: to bypass the old editorial scrutiny
and enter the domain of platforms...
of something that can only be whispered about...
such "petty" freedoms they need
not bother attracting too much attention:
actually... it is essential they do not attract
too much attention... since... sooner or later
the said whisper would have to survive on shouting
and if not shouting then... the megaphone...
throughout my twenties i contemplate
entering a monastery... i guess i still do...
mein gott: wie viel liebe frieden...
  und!         das tempo auf ein schtillgeist...
i've succumbed to German, i believe:
unconsciously...
        there's a theory that suggests that...
there's no need to take a d.n.a. test when you
can have a cultural d.n.a. test unravel before
you with the things you are drawn by...
my maternal surname... Bátůk...
my grandfather (peace be upon him) used to always
stress that it wasn't... that it was
diametrically opposed to a standard slavic
Batóg i.e.: U zwykłe: K'ah...
from the stories he told... i have some ancestry in
Bohemia... Bohemia being... the Czech Republic
being once under the domain of the
Holy Roman Empire...
        
   disease... once an old man who worked as a
radio DJ started walking with me
in a park while i was drinking a beer...

oh: you mean... dis-ease: the negation of ease?
but he said the word: disease with such effort
that... he wasn't expecting me to itemise the word
into two parts...
IGREK... i.e. Y... the only letter in the western slavic
alphabet of Polacks that has a noun-association...
it's not like in Greek where A is α-lpha...
B is β-eta...
             λ is λ-αμβδα...
      bemoan this & that...
apparently i have a Greek nose... i once talked with
a psychologist who was looking for
a Greek... if the ancient Greeks appreciated
theatre and art...
       then the ancient Romans appreciated sport...
none is the other sort of distraction...
but some ancient languages had units of sound
that were also attached to nouns...
which is why Greek was used for scientific constants...
while... the Romans missed out
having no noun association with their letters...
we were supposed to sing!
syllables at best...
     but no letter in Roman is elevated to be given
a name like L is L-ambda...
no one beside me is writing about it:
of that i'm sure...
   i'm trying to return a favour to Nietzsche...
at the zenith of this downfall he thought
himself to be a ******... comparing Polacks
as being... the French of the Slavic world...
- i have truly made a runner from modernity...
so much so that even the music...
classical music... has slowly bothered me...
Bach's polyphony is no longer somehow exciting...
innovative...
i'd had to go back to 14th century music...
of course i'm glad it's still alive!
Llibre vermell de montserrat...
  hesperion ** jordi savalll...
    STELLA SPLENDENS IN MONTE...
all the way through...
                  polorum regina omnium nostra...
one can speak of the ancients...
but... the 14th century?
they're not the ancients...
just clueless as we are...
i've heard that same excuse... bothersome excuse:
but it's the 21st century?!
is that some excuse?
was something to happen in the 21st century
that wasn't supposed to happen in
the 20th century?
      what was supposed to happen?!
what is... supposed to happen?

i'm sitting here... trying to grasp something nostalgic...
from the end of the 20th century...
sure... the birth of the internet...
custodian... what has happened?
too much but also too little...

translate some Horace... read some more...
Kierkegaard...
to make thinking synonymous with doubt...
is to enjoy the same plethora of emotions
best associated with
not thinking when in love...
i like the idea of woman...
as much as i like the idea of love...
but... Gregorian chants...
a sensation only associated with
carving up a brotherhood: literally sings to me...
to imitate the absence of nature...
nature abhors waste...
to sing in a choir is to fill the vacuum of space
and at the same time...
one's time searching this: impossible...
conundrum...

two places of interest comfort me...
forests... or... rather.... whatever's left of them...
and graveyard...
at least in forests i can practice some
pareidolia... i don't believe scientists these days...
no less than journalists...
they have no authority...
in the world of fake news there's no need to trust
science...
there really isn't...
i was studying to be a chemist...
i make my own wine...
i drink 70cl of whiskey almost every night...
i greatly appreciate Edward Hopper...
blah blah...

if there was a "game of thrones" with me in it...
oh hell... i wouldn't be a knight errand...
i'd be the inn-keeper!
modernity is lacking beauty...
esp. in music...
i'll begin with: i'm not all for Bach's polyphony...
i like simpler things... 14th century music...
since it's still made available!

LOS SET GOYTS RECOMPTAREM...

as much as i'd love the deaf-man's
technicality: bridge... for salvaging / creating
polyphony... a simpler melody...
just melody: per se: will do...
i've long lost forgotten women in the modern
sense of... appealing to their "weakness"....
i'm glad i'm no some supposed "alpha"...
omega... last of the last...
we need the entire compliment of
the alphabet... don't we?

mein gott: wie viel ich lieben ruhe!
there's no need to mention architecture...
beauty... enough time will pass...
enough of time needs to pass...
no... all of time is required to balance out
the space provided...
i scratch my beard pretending it might
conjure up a violin!

those ancients had names for their lettering...
beside the borderline Latins....
which didn't... keep a house in order...
everything else: hopes are high...
will follow suite..
               oh m'ah: i'ah?
               you take 70cl of whiskey for a party...
you end up with a pint of beer...
there's not much fun... unless...
visiting a brothel...

   there's nothing new concerning what i've
written... but since i've written so much...
some things i've written..
ought to become lost..
time yawns.. space... applauds:
sentence served.

— The End —