When i scratch my skin off my flesh
Onto the parts where no one could see
It does'nt hurt anymore
I look at my scars right now,
And i feel so conflicted..
I feel hatred towards it because
I see those scars on the ppl i love
Who have no idea what is going on with me
Because when they find out or found out
It hurt them..
And it hurt me
Doesnt make any diff
Whether physically or mentally
Because im in constant suffering
And i dont want to be ever caught
Its the embodiment
Of how i cant cope and still coping
It helps me to understand my emotions
Which i cant put it into words
So i emboss tht story into my skin
Nothing feels real anymore
Its a constant battle
All these emotions
All these stereotype opinions of ppls
All these traumas
All these demons
And
LiFE...!
It is hurting
And thts why i want to self harm
To feel something other than that..
To get some relief
And truthfully
I dont want to stop.
I OnLy
Want to, Not tell anyone and do it privately.
I do them so i can see
My pain rather than feel it.
I dont want to hurt anyone or put thru this.
I cant keep anyone hurt.
I dont know what to do anymore.
Its like the bones have just vanished and theres nothing inside ..
Nothing
I know
Im Alive, when i hurt myself
I know tht im not just dead while breathing
I homestly,
Want to end it all
Life is murderer of my hopes.
I need to end this
I never wanted to put ppl thru grief
So i put myself into it
Im so ****** up and alone.
I dont feel tht i belong anywhere
Didnt have any friend left .
Im trying so hard
Im keeping a smile
So no one could tell
Im afraid of living
Because this is all tht ive known
From the day i was born
What do i have beyond this pain
Is still unknown..
Yet i show gratitude everyday to the almighty.
Pretending is all im doing.
To whoever reading this,
I know this is wrong
Bt it is what i feel.
Opinions doesnt chnge anything.
To whoever suffering like this like me
Because i cant be the only one suffering
And if youre reading this,
And can resonate or relate to anything
This is a message from me
Keep yourself safe,
Im here.