I thought back to when
I apologized to Jennifer
and she started her
response with the
fact that she did
not accept my
apology, but
i should not
have to apologize
for stumbling, for
tripping on myself
for losing my footing
for a while, for hours
for six months.

No. Jennifer. I am not sorry.

I Hate These Human Bones,
And The Olive Skin I Wear,
I Hate My Perfect Smile,
And Every Dark Red Hair

I Hate These English Words
Which Run Through My Mind,
And I Hate Every Calendar,
Because It Reminds Me Of Time

I Hate Every Dark Memory
And This Grey Sky Above,
I Hate This Aching Feeling,
Of Needing To Be Loved

I Hate All My Hatred,
For It Makes Me So Blue,
And I Especially Hate My Heart,
Because That Thing Fell For You

reneged, reneged
like Matt Nathanson
all those nasty poems
I wrote about that one
kid are only half truths
because I realized I can
fall in friends and not
fall in love, would you
believe that kid, reneged
that kid, reneged would
you believe that kid I wrote
all those nasty poems about
made me laugh today, enough
to make me think I was burning
calories being happy instead of
the latter.