we smoked our cigarettes
and belted out car duets

never listened to any advice
figured trial and error would suffice

we ate past when we were full
and felt life's strange alluring pull

but we learned it was never enough
to sit back and relax and love

you can't repeat the past, Gatsby
I wish someone would have told me

I open my eyes, and just see nothing
did i think it would help if i took off my glasses, would it hurt less?
just to not be able to see clearly?
apparently,that isn't so.
the fact that i could not see anything certainly didn't distract me from reality....

it had no affect on my vacant pleasures
if anything, it just made it worse
because the fact that i couldn't see what was happening to me
did declare that it wasn't
i had no escape

how foolish was i to think that it would go away that simple
to think that if i had no visual proof of anything that everything from that point on would be absolutely painless
that my suffering would surely end?

Was i really that desperate to even try it?
i guess is was
but it did have the tiniest slither of comfort for everything to be just.......
a blur

The question is:
would i rather be in total agony than feel numb towards everything?
if was in my right mind, i'd instantly say yes
but these days, there are various times i think twice.

I bet you just want
to see your feet framed
against the mountains

but i'd be too worried
about ticks or where
I'm going to go ***--
I worry where my lack
of an adventurous
spirit will ever lead
me


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