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317 · Apr 2016
25 April 2016
Schanzé Apr 2016
My love is an ocean and I
am the woman who stands in its depths,
let me embrace you.
Unless you fear my love to be
too deep
too strong

And you seek that of another,
go call to the girl who stands on the shore,
with her toes in the sand,
let her bathe you in the
excess of my love
the tide brings in.
312 · Jul 2014
8 May 2014
Schanzé Jul 2014
If we were to break, shatter into a thousand fragments - would there be a glue strong enough to repair us again? Would those cracks and missing pieces make us weaker, or will it make us stronger?
Would it force us to hold tighter, to cling to frozen fingertips and cheap heart candy, or will we simply let go?

Let go, because holding on is hard and breaking contact is easy?
Hold on, because its harder than we percieve to just.let.go?

The truth is we can never be irreperably broken, we'll be put together again and again.
We won't notice that each time - we lose a shard, a tiny piece.

And by the time we do - there's a gaping hole through your middle.
The worst part is : you've lost those shards forever and new ones are hard to come across.

So we spend our days - eternally empty.
311 · Feb 2015
undesirable
Schanzé Feb 2015
You've never felt so alone in your life.
Before, you know.. There were somewhat plausable reasons -  excuses for feeling so alone..
Like not having anyone to share your life with.
But when you do find someone, you expect at least some of the pain to subside or to get easier to deal with.

What you don't expect is for the pain to get worse, to increase and eat you on the inside.

But it does.

And then he doesn't even notice that you've stopped breathing.

He doesn't see that you've gone colour blind.
That you don't see the chocolate brown of his eyes
and instead of seeing the oceans that once lay in yours you see dark gray ash laying in pools filling the windows that should lead to your soul.

He still sees the ocean when he looks into your eyes, and that's what scares you.
You wonder if he's drowning.
You wonder if its too late.


You wonder if you lost yourself because he stopped searching for you.
Just a little something.
310 · Nov 2013
War?
Schanzé Nov 2013
I guess I'm just tired, so tired of having to fight to keep you in my life.
This battle, this war, is exhausting me.
I want you here, but I don't want to have to feel like I'm fighting to keep you.
All I wanted was you, and all you gave me was your back.
Schanzé Nov 2014
You tried to take my hand.
Although I yearned for your touch - I had to push you away.
I had to let you know somehow that though I had given you another chance, I hadn't completely forgiven you yet.

And it hurt me more than you did, for us to be distant.
My hands felt empty.
My lips felt dry and cracked - though I knew they weren't - as if they needed yours.
My body felt as if I was covered in burn wounds, as if your body was the healing balm I needed.
But couldn't get.
304 · Jul 2014
25 July 2014
Schanzé Jul 2014
When I'm lost, I look to you to find me.
When my mind wanders, my thoughts drift to you.

When I'm broken, I seek your arms to scoop my pieces up and glue them together.
My ears are attuned to your voice and it acts as the thread that stitches my frail heart together again.

Your hands are the best kind of distraction even when all they do is join the scattered freckles across my cheeks.

Your lips trail pathways across my scarred arms to a milky way filled with stars and moonlight.

Your eyes are deep oceans that I get lost into every time your nose rubs mine.

You're a wonderland but I'm merely a tourist.
302 · Dec 2014
25 December 2014
Schanzé Dec 2014
It's been a month
an entire month of doing abolutely nothing.
30 days and not once have I attempted to describe the texture of your hands on my skin or the sound of your voice.

The dark color of your eyes or the freedom that rests in the palms of your hands.
The feeling of being enfolded while being completely free in your arms.
The magic that lies at the end of your fingertips.

The sledgehammer rhythm of your heart and the peace it instills in mine.
the beauty of your smile and the gentle tone to your laugh.
Your lips warm and soft - a healing ritual when they meet mine.

All these things I have failed to describe, to write down - afraid to allow them to creep to the front of my mind and take over. Because that's what thoughts of you do - invade my mind and nestle into every nook and cranny of my ocean deep thoughts and troubles.

And now, I miss you.
1442
302 · Nov 2014
12 October 2014
Schanzé Nov 2014
You're like the heat of a thousand suns and although I am burnt, chapped and faded I choose to remain in the dessert.
1442
301 · Aug 2014
11 August 2014
Schanzé Aug 2014
After each day,
Each hour spent,
Every minute wasted with you....

All I can seem to think is:
There just aren't enough hours in a day.
1442
296 · May 2014
20 May 2014
Schanzé May 2014
He filled my days with midnight
and my midnights with summer.
295 · Mar 2014
10 March
Schanzé Mar 2014
Have I lost you? Have we lost each other?
In this darkened maze we call life, you said you would be my guide.
Your light is fading, I can barely see your silhouette in the distance.

I'm reaching out, desperately grasping the dense air around my weakening body, reaching for you. My fingertips slice through the vast nothing that lies before me. I try to call out, but no sound comes from my mouth, it seems I am mute.

Yesterday, you held my hand, stood beside me and whispered soft words of encouragement, willing me to go on. When I strayed from my path, you reeled me back in again and showed me the way, silently ushering me in the right direction.

When I fell, and despair came over me and the demons within took over, fighting for control inside my disease ridden mind - you told me to fight, brandish my sword and slaughter the miserly monsters who refused to share peace.

I won - again and again. Triumphant in my battlefield armour.

Today you're busy, too busy for me and my childish needs, my fear of reality.
I'm pushed aside. My thoughts, stories and heartache are no longer pertinent to your life.

I've become weak again, and I let you push me away.
So here I stand, in the middle of this maze, drowning.
And I have no one to call to my side.
I've lost my best friend.
294 · Jul 2014
2 July 2014
Schanzé Jul 2014
Even if
I'm not the girl of his dreams
I still
Want to be the girl in them.
289 · Mar 2014
24 February
Schanzé Mar 2014
I tried to make a list of things that didn't make sense.
I ran out of paper the first hour I spent.
274 · Jun 2014
20 June 2014 1:30am
Schanzé Jun 2014
1:48am.
I'm wide awake
and I shouldn't be.
Thoughts of you run endlessly through my mind
and I can't possibly shut my eyes when you're so close to me.
I've only gotten about half an hour of sleep and my eyes burn
but my mind soldiers on.

1:50am.
All I want is you here,
really here.
Not just in my head
but at the very end of my fingertips.
Where I can
breathe
you
in.

1:58am.
But I'm breathing you out, you should be fading - but you don't.
Your voice.
Your hands.
Your piercing blue eyes.
Your lips.

You.

You.

You.

You.

5am.*
Where  did  the  time  go?
For 168
273 · Oct 2013
Burn
Schanzé Oct 2013
I wish to burn you, watch you be consumed by flames like a match and then breathe in the smoke you create.
Let it pollute my lungs and stain my heart.
Pick up your ashes and let it fall through my hands onto the ground beneath my feet,because you were my world.
This way, you would always be a part of me.
271 · Jul 2014
15 July 2014
Schanzé Jul 2014
I don't have any rights to you.
Your mind, your body, your soul.
But I want them all

I want to write your name 4000 times over and over again throughout the day without feeling as if I have committed a sin.
Simply because you'd  be  mine.

You're like a 3rd degree burn, scorched across my battered heart.
And I'm afraid only your arms can act as a healing balm.
142
270 · Apr 2014
30 April 2014
Schanzé Apr 2014
I spent an agonizing week
away from you last night.
266 · Jun 2014
19 June #2
Schanzé Jun 2014
I'm falling for you
& its not that I want you to catch me,
I want you to fall with me.
For 168
263 · Aug 2014
25 August 2014
Schanzé Aug 2014
If I write you poetry, can I take pieces of your heart?
I promise you can have whats left of mine..
Maybe if we join those pieces together we could feel..
complete

You drive me crazy, but its okay because I know I drive you crazy too.
But its the kind of crazy
that makes a grey sky
seem blue.
A kind of crazy that makes traffic on a Friday afternoon pass at the speed of light..
because
I'm with you.
1442
258 · Jun 2014
22 June 2014
Schanzé Jun 2014
You drive me crazy.
For 168
251 · Aug 2014
25 August 2014
Schanzé Aug 2014
Lets pretend we've been together forever,
So that we don't have to worry about whats to come.

So that we can say things like 'I love you'
without being afraid of empty words.
248 · May 2014
24 May
Schanzé May 2014
I kept seeing his eyes.
The way his nose set in his face.
The curve of his lips, the corners of his mouth when he smiled.

It was as if I couldn't think of anything else but that particular shade of blue and the secrets they hid beneath them.

As if his smile could tell me more about him than his voice ever could.

I kept seeing his fingers, the way they connected to his hands.
And I thought of the things that could be said with them, the things that could be felt.

And I knew I was getting ahead of myself because I hadn't even spoken to him.
I knew that the hours left till I saw him again would feel like years.
But I knew I  would take those years, take them doubled and tripled just for another glimpse, another fleeting moment of his eyes meeting mine.
246 · May 2014
20 May 2014
Schanzé May 2014
The cold misty mornings are now my favourite because I get to see your warm face.
I get to see those blue eyes catch mine and I feel like maybe I could get through the day.

I like the afternoons even better cause I know you'll be there. Know you'll sit less than a whisper away, know that you'll be right there in the corner of my eye and that makes me feel; safe.

Nights, they're the worst. I spend those hours thinking about you. Counting them down. Worrying about what will have changed in the morning.
Generally nothing does, but I'm always afraid something will.

I wonder when you'll speak to me, when you'll say those words I've been waiting to hear.
Not those three, just the one.
"Hello"
Two syllables, one word.
One word that could change my life.
To 168
242 · Jun 2014
24 June 2014
Schanzé Jun 2014
And maybe I'm afraid.
Afraid of so many things.
I'm afraid of letting someone in,
afraid that I'll be torn up from the inside again.

But I let you in.

And I shouldn't have expected anything different

But I did.

It was worse than before though.
I just don't know why.

Maybe it was your smile,
or the sound of your voice
when you lied
and said you would never hurt me.

Funny thing is
I'd heard those words before,
but when you spoke them it was as if they were in a different language,
one I didn't understand.

*And so I believed you.
One - Four - Two
237 · Jun 2014
24 June 2014
Schanzé Jun 2014
I guess I just wanted someone I could share my thoughts with.
Someone who would tell me I wasn't crazy.

Crazy for falling for someone, over and over again.
Crazy for trusting again and again and again.

Crazy for expecting something different every time I let someone in.
Crazy for being terrified of the pain that I was continuously put in.

Crazy for loving even when I was hated. Crazy for forgiving even when I was not the one who was mistaken.

Crazy for trying when it wasn't appreciated,
Crazy for giving and never taking.

But I guess what I really wanted was someone to tell me how crazy I actually was.
Tell me I was being weak & not strong.
For someone to just tell me that it was them not me who was wrong.
230 · Jul 2014
2 July 2014
Schanzé Jul 2014
Read my poetry
And
You'll know exactly who I am
226 · Jul 2014
29 July 2014
Schanzé Jul 2014
And I thought:
If your heart was a country;
then I
would be a patriot.
142
222 · Jun 2014
22 June 2014 #2
Schanzé Jun 2014
When I see you, my knees become weak, my throat constricts & my voice disappears.
But
When I see him, I smile and the words float out my mouth.

I think of you, I think of him.
I miss him, I miss you.
He speaks, you're.. just silent.
Your blue eyes, his brown.
So different, yet I could drown in either.
For 168 & 142
216 · Jul 2014
Last thought #2/07/14
Schanzé Jul 2014
Yes.
People fall in love everyday.
but
its not everyday
people like me,
fall for people like you.
206 · Jun 2014
28 June 2014
Schanzé Jun 2014
He's just a boy.
then again
I'm just a girl.
For
One Six Eight
190 · May 2014
10:16pm
Schanzé May 2014
I'm beautiful?
I thought I asked you not to lie.
189 · Jun 2014
2014
Schanzé Jun 2014
You'll take pieces of my poetry;
I'll take pieces of your heart.

— The End —