I drained you, didn't I?
You were like a child and I was the bully who stole dreams.

You saw me as your hope, your friend, but I was the storm clouds raining on your parade.
And as I stood under my umbrella, I watched you drown.
You never noticed though, you were blinded by love.

How peculiar.. Everyone saw clear as day but I blinded you sweetheart.
You thought that love could destroy the evil that continued to grow within me but you found out the hard way that demons like mine are powerful, deceitful, ruthless and cold.

I took what you had, destroyed you and extinguished the fire in your eyes.

I'd like to give it back, honey. This is how I'll do it:
I'll take that last pill, climb the last step on my ladder, tighten the noose, slice the very last vein and breathe my last breath.
I'll set not only myself free.. but you too.

Hold on sweetheart, it will all be over soon.

I hear sadness behind that laugh,
long dreary depression in that heart.
I see pain, such hurt in those eyes.
A slowness in your movement,
the frantic processing of cruel,
twisted thoughts in your lies.
The longing in your voice,
so sharp and distinguished to my experienced ears - fall on the deaf ones of those whom which you crave love.
From whom you wish to vanquish your fears.

You desire love, but from those who are not willing to give.
You push away those whose love to you - they feely give.
The darkness in your life so blinds you, that you allow it to take your light.
You become so accustomed to the dark that whoever comes bearing light, is scowled upon and chased away, forced to dissipate into the night.

Your one sided mind and your naïve, twisted perception,
can only leave you alone,
maybe then you'll have time for some self reflection.
To see all you've lost,
all that you continue to lose.
Open your heart,
open it wide,
let it be love that you choose.

I miss you.
I miss you so god ****** much.
Every time I utter those words, a crater forms in my chest.
Buried in each of these craters is a piece of my heart, buried in dust.
The cavity where my fragmented heart lies, becomes bigger and bigger each day.

Yet I miss you still.

I tried to make a list of things that didn't make sense.
I ran out of paper the first hour I spent.

I came to the realization that: we're all just alone. We're all just kids searching for a little love, a little appreciation.

I also came to the realization that most promises made, are promises not kept.

No one is actually ever there for you. It's easier said than done, you know - being there.
No one to hold your hand, to hold it tight and tell you it's going to be okay.
Who dabs at the small pool that forms under your eyes when you finally feel as if it's not actually okay?
When your heart is broken, pounding in its cavity and your lungs have collapsed, drowning in sorrow and pain; whose arms wrap around you and hold it all together?
At night when you're laying in your dark room, curtains drawn from the world, staring at your dusty ceiling and that little voice is telling you how wrong you are, how worthless, how useless, how imperfect. Who tells you it's not true? That it's really all lies?
When you stare at your broken body through the mirror above your bathroom sink and you cry, horrified at what lies before you, who draws you in and tells you that you're beautiful?

When you're wishing for a plane to fall out of the sky and flatten you, for a car to momentarily veer off its path and crash into you. A stray bullet, a case of mistaken identity. All for release - however short.
The thoughts racing through you mind telling you this is how it should be, who tells you that you're worth it, that you mean something? That it will get better?
That you can make it?

What I'm trying to say is - you're with you 24/7.  You hold your own hand, wrap your scar possessed arms around your throbbing chest. You battle with yourself at night.
Only you are ever truly there for you.

Hold on. Be strong.
Take care of those beautiful eyes, that beautiful mind.
Be proud of who you are.