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YOU
In my dreams
I see you
In my thoughts
I hear you
Every breath i take
Its you
Every word i speak
You come into being
For there is no me without you
You are Everything
I heard the buzz of the phone on my desk,
While I lay in bed but can't resist the urge to check;
Thought it'd be my mom or my friend again,
Even after having goodnights sent.
Should have known it'd be you,
So out of the blue.
I read your words so bright in the dark,
And tonight that's all they are:
Words, words, and empty somethings.
Not tonight sweetheart, it's worth about nothing.
Because if you're going to add fuel to the flames,
In the end don't expect not to feel the pain.
When the fire turns back on you, it's yours
Because I won't take your burns anymore.
See that stone.
He sees that stone.
It's coming down
HARD.
******* you
leaving scars.

Against the glass, you press your face
frosted and forgetful of the hairs rooted
in shame. You kissed that stone-cold face.

Filled with stone-cold limestone
You scratch.
You scratch and lose.
You sin and lose.
You lose and sin by scratching it loose.

Scratch through his bones and
invade the marrows
searching for that familiar face.

    smiling at you.

Smiling and cold.
Stone-cold blood glows. The skin glows orange
and the scars peel off bones.
I was created by alcoholism and psychosis
a concoction only by the devil himself,
perhaps to add some flare to earth.
I knew it at birth
the holy water seemingly burned my flesh at
baptism
as he gave a little wink through fire and secret messages.
Lily, Lily, Lily
you were never quite right.
the belt that whipped across my torso made me smile
so you stopped.
Lily, Lily, Lily
You'll get it one day.
Perhaps while I am scattering your ashes into the fire to make sure you're dead.
You always told me just how unfair the world is.
But thats what makes it all so special.
Lucifer threw me curve ***** so I could throw them back at you.
Who knew what happened then.
I'm screaming here

can't you hear me?

I'm in pain here

don't you see it?

Do you hear me or
what you want to hear?

Do you see me or
what you want to see?

Look at me now

come close

you see me yet?

I'm screaming here
can't you hear me
or am I screaming in
my own head.

They is no blood here for you to see,
but the pains here
cutting deep.

You see me yet?

(SW)
You were the sole purpose I lived.
I always thought of you.
All the time I dreamed of you.
You were on my mind.
You were the bright star that made me smile.
You were everything to me.
You cheered me up.
You listened to me.
You brightened my day, made it worth while.
I honestly, truly believed,
I loved you.
Notice how it's all Past Tense?
The beauty lies in a single flower.
In the stars that awaken at night.
The beauty lies in the raw power
Of a bird taking flight.

How I long to behold that beauty,
To grasp it close and tight.
To feel its warmth and let it truly
Overcome my might.

I will watch as time goes by
And the life inside me dies,
I will smile as I watch the sky.
Beauty never says goodbye.
I sit in bed
My head flooded with images of you
You

With your curly brown hair and gorgeous, deep eyes
With your love of coffee and adoration for music

How you play the guitar
How you'd always make me laugh

And last but certainly not least
That smile

I have fallen hard for you and I fear I will not escape the never ending pit

Yet I am not good enough
Not for you
I'm imperfect compared to your cheeky smiles and sense of humor

I'm nothing
Yet you are everything to me

I find myself, soft tears slowly exuding
Because I realize that what I speak is truth,
At least to me

I'm imperfect and you will never love me
I fear...

Every doubt tears me up inside and it's hard to control self deprecation
It takes over me

And I fall into a deep sleep

*Alone
It feels wrong
To listen to our song
The words don't sound true
Either do you

You say you love my smile
But it's your fault it hasn't been there
For a while
I'm not going to pretend anymore
You are no longer the one I adore

You have only been playing with my mind
All your lies are the only things I find
I want to get the words out of my head
I want to have my three words unsaid


I
Love
You

Please delete that
From my mind
From my heart
From my lips
From your ears
Delete me
I am grieving,
yet expected to maintain.
The decorum of my inner self is inky black,
slimy and sticky to the touch.
I fill myself with substance harmful.
I am deadly to the touch.
If you look too long
ill start to decay.
Advert your eyes.
Shoo your children away.
Exquisite in beauty'
Terrifying in demeanor.
The room grows cold when I enter.
Silence all around.
I beg you continue the fun.
I'm not here for you.
I'm here for myself.
I only come to.self destruct like you.
For once I was human and needed
Self destruction
Self mutilation
Integrity gone
Empty shell of beauty.
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