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scarmaya nicole Dec 2024
i had hopes and dreams for us,
wishing you would answer my prayers,
to do better and love me the way no one has.
i was a fool to be a believer.

kneeling and begging, maybe then you'll feel empathy,
maybe it'll grow into a love (that is never meant to be).
but still, love is love; maybe it will be enough.
i'll carry a cross just to prove i'm tough.

love is a religion i want to forget.
i have realized it will never save our story from death.
losing my belief over someone's son,
my dear, in your church, i'm just so done.
an unbeliever pt. 2
scarmaya nicole Dec 2024
love is a religion i want to forget
scarmaya nicole Dec 2024
sadness is like a tail
always connected to me
following me around

i'm well aware it's not part of my body tho
it shouldn't be
but why is it here?
i'm just too sad to fix this piece, sorry.
scarmaya nicole Dec 2024
tulad ng himig ng mga awit ng pag-ibig,
ang tamis ng lambing na hatid ng mga ito.
kung may tinig ang pagmamahal,
maaaring ito ay boses mo.
tulad ng sinabi ko sa'yo, mas mapagmahal ang mga tulang isinulat sa lengguwaheng filipino.
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
i'm biting my tongue to keep the raging stream of words from spilling out. i still can’t help but let some escape through my lips. i try to swallow the rest until my throat burns, gagging, crying—it's making me sick. dear god, where do i put all this anger?
have u ever puked out of anger?
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
staring at my broken mirror, i beg the person in front of me to come back home to myself again, to remember who i was before it all: before i learned to put makeup on my face, before i knew what it felt like to be heartbroken, before i carried all this anger, before i lost all my hope, and before i changed who i was. to learn to love myself again before i started wishing someone else would.
the next time i fall in love, i want it to be myself. and if i fail, i'll do it again, and again, and again.
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
i began fearing love because i found it loud and explosive—not until  i saw the spark of your eyes as you laughed, and all i could hear was my own heart loudly beating.
to see the stars on my dark night sky instead of fireworks is kind of new to me, but hopefully this will end on the good side.
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