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scarmaya nicole Dec 2024
tulad ng himig ng mga awit ng pag-ibig,
ang tamis ng lambing na hatid ng mga ito.
kung may tinig ang pagmamahal,
maaaring ito ay boses mo.
tulad ng sinabi ko sa'yo, mas mapagmahal ang mga tulang isinulat sa lengguwaheng filipino.
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
i'm biting my tongue to keep the raging stream of words from spilling out. i still can’t help but let some escape through my lips. i try to swallow the rest until my throat burns, gagging, crying—it's making me sick. dear god, where do i put all this anger?
have u ever puked out of anger?
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
staring at my broken mirror, i beg the person in front of me to come back home to myself again, to remember who i was before it all: before i learned to put makeup on my face, before i knew what it felt like to be heartbroken, before i carried all this anger, before i lost all my hope, and before i changed who i was. to learn to love myself again before i started wishing someone else would.
the next time i fall in love, i want it to be myself. and if i fail, i'll do it again, and again, and again.
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
i began fearing love because i found it loud and explosive—not until  i saw the spark of your eyes as you laughed, and all i could hear was my own heart loudly beating.
to see the stars on my dark night sky instead of fireworks is kind of new to me, but hopefully this will end on the good side.
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
...
i say that i don't care anymore. i try to hide the fact that hearing your name makes it hard for me to breathe.
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
i could not recognize a mother's voice anymore, not even from my own mother.
who are you?
scarmaya nicole Nov 2024
two young wild hearts in this ****** city,
you and i have made our own calamity.
a tornado born out of seamless feelings,
both looking for love but with different meanings.

i am hopelessly romantic, a lover with blind eyes,
so i rely on what i hear: good truths and sweet lies.
whatever i can hold, i grip it with my hand so tight;
i act as if your moves and this story are not trite.

so done and fed up, but i stay regardless.
i don't care even if it’s a temporary happiness.
all those smiles and laughs that i had with you
are better than nothing; i'll take a dubious few.

show me the kind of love that makes me question reality.
knowing that this could all be a trick, i still did it willingly.
your warmth and company, flickering, driving me mad,
but baby, just touch me and see that i am still down bad.

he is a boy with time and wanting to have fun;
i am a lady waiting for someone to shoot her with a gun.
he did the hunting, but i gave him the tools and map.
i may have allowed him to set me up in his trap.

bring me to places that i’ve never been;
bring me to life and then **** me within.
silently, i hope for something better to receive,
to be deemed worthy of the real love you can give.

smitten, drunk, slowly losing my sense of value;
i'm quite scared to find myself kneeling before you.
i want to have you for me, but i refuse to speak,
so i let this yearning and hope in my words leak.

kiss, leave, hold, and ignore me; lead me on, and i'm all for it.
the pain and love are something my heart doesn’t ever want to admit.
if ever you're wondering if what you want would make me glad,
my love, let it be known to you that for you, i am still down bad.
a testament to how love, though great, can be a curse when you find yourself down bad.
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