Flashes of denial campaign
undiscovered in my ears
while laughter sounds out like static
from a land where words
expose their wonder.  
What lies beneath
waves of pleading promises
that lie touching my heart
like winds of change
bring on thunder?

Has my existence flown
to find the answers
inside of years
up on the silent mountaintop
that I once called
my home?
I find that now I live with chaos
looking in my windows
at every single hollow place
it sees
when I am sitting
all alone.

Insanity is everywhere
I see it staring at my mouth
as honesty spews on everything
I deny to be,
while in all of my despair
I hear words
laughing out at me.
I breathe in deep then lift the voice
with which I write
and wait........
for my pen to bleed.

I sit cross legged in my rocking chair,
holding my balance as best I can.
I want you to wake,
but I don't want to wake you.

Filled with poison I stare down the hall,
I hear the silent cries of animals.
With my heart I listen to their sorrows,
but with my mind I refuse their requests.

I could save all the creatures inside of me,
but I just want them to leave.
I want to remember what they have done,
but I don't want to feel it any longer.

You stir in your sleep,
and I fear you can hear my thoughts forming.
That you will know what I am truly,
and the love will evaporate.

But your peaceful eyes stay shut,
and you will never know who I am.
Because I am the one who ignores the cries of children,
I am the one who should be forgotten.

Fun costs too much money
just gimme a job
anything
watch yer kids
feed yer dogs
wipe ***** from floors
sell organs
pawn heirlooms and the clothes off me back
need some money honey
have a future
maybe, if I have some money
want a roof later on
even a tent will do
just need some *****, stupid
money.

I can’t deny I feel compelled, to write this ode to you
You’ve opened up my eyes this week, I’m seeing things anew
I never thought I’d find a man who’d help me feel this way
You looked in to my eyes and knew just what you had to say
You taught me my first lesson,that *** was in the head
And it’s true that you seduced me before we ever reached the bed
You whispered words in to my ears, you looked and knew you’d won
You saw your words set me aflame and now I am undone
You said I didn’t tell you that I liked the pain so much
But perhaps I didn’t truly know until I felt your touch
So now I’m yours to discipline laid out for correction
Every second a torturous wait for that moment of correction
The moment that makes me cry out, that makes me understand
That I must pay with punishment, the sweet sting of your hand
I wonder sometimes what is wrong.  Why do I need the pain?
Why is it that I feel the need to surrender to the cane?
But I won’t question anymore, get ideas above my station
I know now that your word is law and I’ll take my flagellation.

we're all waiting in line
for the second to come
where we either fall off the cliff
or choose to jump

and get put out of our misery...
anticipation
impatience
boredom

a strangely familiar feeling of solidarity

it either feels like a waste of time
or like you have all the time in the world

either constrained
or free,

oh dear virtues of love and song!

what a slow painful bleeding
what an amazing violent relief
what a comedown
what beautiful brain swelling
an infinite white oblivion

what a sacrifice
what devotion
what passion

what music...

what a burden it must be for a musician
the bard who is to dwell in the ambivalence
the mime who wishes to sing
but remains a mute

oh cruel queue
oh manic elation
oh devestation

why must you rude & shove?
surely we can ration
is there not enough air?

this is not a line but a stampede
we remain trampled

have we not learned from the birds?
have we not learned from the herds?

we're all waiting in line
for the second to come
teetering above a white oblivion

infinite,
beautiful,
a comedown...
what a violent relief

what a slow painful bleeding

I left
You cried
I returned
We died

We tried
I lied
Cut ties
We died

You climed
We shined
You shyed
We died

I left
We died.....

i thought you and i had it...magic
i thought wrong.
you can't change my opinion with the way you sing your song
green eyes, take me down
drowning in blue skies...
he didn't tell me it was going to feel like that
stole my heart, never gave it back.
the weary drum comes
through the floor
my eyes are focused on this door
cold lights, city nights
i don't want to think of you. what do i do?
you speak of the world
all these boys and girls
the paths they chase, decisions they make
be the one to prove me wrong
come back again and
sing your song