I never meant to make you bleed
I never meant to haunt you

I just wanted to float on air
and mix with water

but since dying
I’ve learned I’m more like oil

I have no use for locks anymore
so I threw away all of my keys

I tried to kiss you in your sleep
but there was too much smoke in the way

I cleaned up the blood trail from your bedroom
to the bathroom down the hall

I’ve learned a lot in a death but it seems
I am forever missing you

I pledge allegiance to my dad for giving me issues
I would have never known had he never left
I pledge allegiance to myself

I am more self-obsessed than I would care for anyone to ever know

I dress in all black so my relative’s burn
and roll over in their graves

I always spoke out of turn in my classes
and it’s hard for me to admit my mistakes
I have a knack for creating a new face,
I do it practically every day

I probably know your name even if we haven’t met
I occasionally draw attention to myself
just so I can feel justified and attractive

I pledge allegiance to the flag

I quite like this freedom but to be honest
I’d rather have the power

So unique,
such a special doll you were.
Your sweet fragrance clung to me
like ivy,
found all my nooks & crannies.
I never wanted to wash you off,
I wanted to crumble
under the tiny clinging feet of your vine,
hanging onto me in earnest,
in love with my rock-like physique.

I’m looking at you in the passenger seat
like maybe someday you can be my home

ill crawl up next to you under sheets
and we can keep each other warm
and listen to the sound of our quick beating hearts

I can see us on a porch in our late 20’s
in a nice place like Boston or Maine
but it doesn’t really matter to me
as long as we’re together

the scent of your skin is like a seatbelt
the soft caress of your hands on the small of my back
is a reminder that

I am yours

I couldn’t imagine a future without you
I see us holding hands in a park
licking ice-cream cones

I see you in the morning waking up next to me
hair disheveled with sleepy eyes

I see us in picture frames along our staircase
I see us drinking wine in bed at night

I think about kissing you every day of my life  
I see you in my dreams darling

and you feel like home

Ill feed you honey off of a teaspoon in the morning
And I’ll cover up all the reflective surfaces and
hold you in the bathtub till about 2 pm

I’ll rub shampoo through your black hair until the water turns cold

We will read poetry under that big shady tree down the road
and chase each other in the maze at the library
but I’ll always let you catch me

You’ll eat out of my hands like a broken baby animal
on the back porch wrapped in an afghan
the colour of your eyes on a rainy day

We will turn on the lamps at night and count our freckles
while we are wrapped in the sheets

And if you still hate yourself after that
We will wash rinse and repeat
until you can look into the mirror and

see what I see