Truthfully,
I neither have a lucid nor clear recollection of how we first met.

How my little heart took its fall blindly,
with wisps of hope edging around it,
don't you dare ask.
I don't know myself.

It's that one moment hazy and crinkled at the edges,
but its the very one that we adore when
it plays peek-a-boo
on
rainy days.

It is the kaleidoscope of little memories ribboned together that slowly unravel,
and
begin
to
dance on your closed lids.

All I know is there is a

beginning

& and &
no
end.

Not just yet,
not
in
*forever.

1.You introduced me to your father as a “friend”
so I guess I should have
known from the start we were already reaching our end

2. You said you would pay me for *** after I didn’t respond to your calls
for 3 months but you couldn’t pay me
to be under you again

3. You once cut me with a steak knife on my leg
and put your mouth to the wound
until your lips ran red with my blood

4. You made me breakfast once
and served it with a shot of whiskey
I think you did it just to make sure I’d touch your **** again

5. You ****** me in your bed one morning
before driving me to school and giving me a cigarette
I don’t regret never calling you again

6. You made me feel like a live wire buzzing for a street lamp
You made me want to snort you like *******
I wish you hadn’t died I wish I could see you again

7. You made a mountain out of me
and I can never tell you just how happy I am
that I managed to wash you out to sea

8. You forced my head into your lap on a school trip
in a bus when I was 14
and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that

9. You made me *** in the library in front of the window
when I was a freshman and afterwards
you put your fingers in your mouth

10. You kissed me in the clover on the bank of a pond
and we put our feet into the water
I think we really could have been something good if we wanted to be