Love can wait at the age of 19
but the thing is,
I can't fall inlove.
I fear attachments as much
as I fear death,
there is no guarantee that
I will be madly committed
with someone at 24.
I seek to be alone for
the rest of my life.

A.X

It gets a little hard sometimes.
knowing what to do and ended up being a total worthless person in a second.
When people meets a person with mental illness, you'll be labeled as someone "insane".
It's very hard for the people I know to accept the fact that the mind can get a little sick too.

Today, I woke up screaming out of fear and a kinfolk is mad at me.
I know I can't control it but why does it feel like it's my fault for shouting?
why does it feel like I have to blame myself?
Is it really my fault or should I just end this life, to prevent this from happening again.

-A.X

It's either I make it big or I end up losing, regardless of the outcome, I will continue. This isn't a race with other people but the desire to make myself happy and a better person.

winning and losing was never an option, needless do I remind that to myself.

whatevet it takes, regardless of the outcome.

I struggle to reach my dream.
to be known, to be remarkable.
because nowadays,
it's either you have to be beautiful
or you have excellent skills.
there is no absolute problem to that.
only the standards people setting.

-A.X

to you who sees,
you keep me going.

A.X

Art never fails to comfort me and so do poetry and warm words.
If art and poetry could comfort me in the very best way, maybe it could comfort you too.
Maybe, the pieces I created could help you see the beauty of what sorrounds you and the lessons in the past.
it's hard to move on and in order to balance the things in your life you need to keep going.
with that, I hope you see beauty in yourself too; beyond the roughness and stretch marks in your skin, beyond the unwanted fats, beyond all the insecurities and all the wrong doings.
I hope you see that there's life beneath it.

A.X

it may seem that life
has a never ending
circumstances or choice
but who am I to give up?

just like the infinite loop
of struggles,
I carry with me an endless
passion.

I cannot die without
a remarkable and unknown name,
I need to be known and be seen,
for I can't stay hidden.

-A.X