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Feb 2016 · 397
Hum
Sarah Villaluz Feb 2016
Hum
Starlight dances
in midnight blue
I wonder if
they can hear
this secret roaring
inside me

Gaslit tracks
running loops
over and over
reminds me
of drunk mad
chaos
stilled
by your steady pulse.

Small infinities
I don't want to let go of
I don't want you
distracted
of wild racing things

You ask me to breathe
and all I can take in
is lungfuls of
you you you
and the night sky                you
and the cool wind drifts    you
and dim light streets          you

I am sober enough      
again
But can't you see
I'm mad drunk on
you

Everybody's got a secret to hide
Yet it's the one I want
desperately told
on every inch
of skin on yours and
why don't eyes unfold
to meet mine

Don't you know it
In every strange flutter of me
trying to seek you out
small cramped excuses
like
the furtive soft lips on your cheek
when all they want to be is
somewhere else
anywhere else

I love the way it feels like
a new, strange, unsure hum

And another sleepless night.

Would I risk everything
just to feel something
again
Oct 2014 · 695
Fireflies
Sarah Villaluz Oct 2014
Haven't you heard
it's raining fireflies
tonight
better catch it
before it burns this mountain down
but
if it helps you sleep
tonight
I wouldn't mind

Maybe it won't be enough
in this land of
sleeping giants and
burning skies turning into
star spun blurs
wrapping your arms around me
I am confused
It's been a while
since my heart danced like this
teach my skin
secrets
in dreams
in every breath
you breathe
and I take
just another moment of
infinity
after another
after all
it's raining fireflies tonight

Close your eyes
and tell me
in sleep
How
I'm waiting all night
for Something
because it's not enough
or is it
we fit like
pieces
just because
it's raining fireflies tonight

And you hold me
like you'd never let go
when you think
I'd never remember
Why don't you and I
burn together
and set this place on fire
just because we
want to
fireflies
never last long
in the mornings
and I really like
waking up
next to you
Sep 2014 · 556
Perseids
Sarah Villaluz Sep 2014
Sometimes I wonder
if somehow you're the greatest accident
I might just live through

And its on days like these
when the sky is crying
that I remember
salted caramel kisses in the rain
and violent starry night crashes
and the bruises on my skin

You were like some wounded animal
I kiss your scars
and you run away
firing off like a sawn off shotgun
when daybreak comes
But I can still taste you on my tongue

You said you wished your
wisdom teeth would grow straight
Maybe I'm just your favorite sin to make
My lipstick stains on your cigarettes
I haven't washed your scent out of my hair
a veiled threat
of moonlit shore secrets
mad ******* poetry
and intoxicating electricity
in a not-so foreign place
come find me
If only I'd care enough
to stay

Why can't it be simple
like lazy early mornings
when you'd find me
leather jacket and bikini
waiting for the sun
to warm my bones
Or sleeping away most of the day
in naked intimacy
Incandescent nights
making music in candlelight

Maybe it was some
drunk accident of six years ago
When I found someone else
who loves dancing in the rain
as much as I do
Maybe it's true
that sometimes love
is written in episodes
When will you learn
how to love
the things you don't understand
And to stop running away
from yourself
in endless feedback loops
day after night after day
after everything

There are times when
there is wisdom to be had
and it takes wanting
too much
to bring color to these hours
maybe I like how things
fall as they are
Why don't you and I
just hide tonight
for old time's sake?
And maybe we can make
the same mistake
like we always do
And breathe in the summer solstice
with wide eyes
bringing heat to each other's sheets
until we peel off
this summer skin

And I am still here
in fits and starts
while you're sleeping
thinking about this new accident
just waiting to happen
Jul 2014 · 368
7.30.2014
Sarah Villaluz Jul 2014
Maybe it's better this way
I'm letting someone steal me
all over again
Because this city keeps on changing
by staying the same
And you and me drifting into
the same bars
the same beaches
the same questioning eyes
on the same strangers
We are the only ones who know
that maybe
sometimes maybe
I still need you

It's kisses on the cheek again
I don't know half the time
if you're saying
hello
or goodbye
**** it and see
as the song goes
let me put this cigarette to my lips
so I can lie to you better
on this cloudy Sunday afternoon
it's the little empty promises
that mean so much
when you're chasing after
some semblance
of six years ago
We're the only ones who know
that you need the lies
as much as I do

And when I pack my bags
swearing I'll never come back
to this place again
Because I can't wait
for some vision
of you in some of my strange lands
I can't trust
this saving grace of a feeling
I don't feel
the erratic drums
my blood hot
under your touch
on those wild nights
that are starting to blur around the edges
We're the only ones who know
the last dying notes to this song

Maybe I don't want to know
when it's time to let go
Jun 2014 · 435
XX
Sarah Villaluz Jun 2014
**
Subtly
but devastatingly ****
your restraint lures me
into depths giving birth to other depths of other
like some strange tide
lull me into silence
and into hushed hot whispers
in between the covers
of stars and sleep.

It's like you constantly move
in slow motion
and it's turning me on
with a voice
like roughened black velvet
and you touch me
to the beat
of some ancient heartbeat
and eyes looking at me
like I'm the only woman
in the room
nothing exists anymore
just your eyes and our heartbeats
beating mad
I already know
as that tear falls into the night
if you want me
as the light hits my face
let's not exist outside this space
just you me and infinity
Mar 2014 · 622
Blood Red
Sarah Villaluz Mar 2014
Tricky how memory plays tricks
The present hides things
And like some prodigal son of myth
gently wakes me up
on mornings such as this.

Naked, I stood above
naked in flesh, bone and stars
naked in my fragility and scars
you kept your eyes closed
awash in sensation
like half of you- asleep
dreaming away nights
as we shivered under this night sky
as I drew circles
tracing patterns on your skin
Plunging into my own thoughts
together, I am alone.

Secret words lead to secret thoughts
I would've wanted you
to read them aloud
to see the truths hidden
in the silence, in the dark.

Those nights,
each dance
that left my throat hoarse
from laughing and screaming
haunt me, still.
It still makes me want
to crawl under your covers
and smell your skin.

What is it that you ask of me
When the only way I know
of loving is this
It comes out
in short, intense bursts
like sunlight blinding your eyes
Are you afraid to burn, to bleed?
Are you afraid of me
because I bring out the demons in you
I talk with them, laugh with them, love with them
Because they are a part of you
as you are a part of me, too.

If you decide not  to love me anymore,
then
Don't look at me the way you do
Don't give me secrets for me to keep
Don't keep coming back
branding me with hot kisses
until my entire being is aflame,
alive.
Don't come back
and remind me of the smell of leather
and how caramel would taste like on my tongue
Don't smoke my cigarettes
wondering what my lipstick would taste like
Don't show me any more kindness
I'm comfortable taking them from strangers
Don't bury yourself in my hair
You may not come back alive
Most of all,
don't remind me
of the first time we met
of star-spun nights
and how you never forget
the ones that make you bleed

I write in the blood
until these words
fade and turn to dust
Jan 2014 · 979
A certain blooming darkness
Sarah Villaluz Jan 2014
You moved like the night sky
in my dreams last night
midnight blue
the way the stars danced with you
and I sang
each of their names
every time the light hits your face
I watched you smile
and laughed
as my heart broke
until the cold wind wrapped me
in his arms
and kissed me
until I wept.

Sometimes I forget the bruises
and creep under your covers
and sleep in your embrace
knowing full well
there will be blood
on these sheets come morning
and we dissolve into air
like dry cigarette smoke
or the last notes of scent
that stays hidden
in some dark corner on a rainy day
waiting for me to take it home.

Have I ever told you
what I wanted to be most,
in life?
I want to be someone's ***** secret,
hidden and ripe
I believed that I wanted to be yours
truly and only
But you had no use for secrets
no space to clear your head
you'd rather chase land, air and sea
than watch stars kiss sea
with me

Don't you see
that I don't care
for all the crimes you've done
or your mad existence
or the women you've loved before
I only care that you are real
But you're still some character in some book
waiting to be written
And however I write in blood or in tears
I still can't give birth to your name
I only have your voice in my head
Somewhere, you exist.

I am made of a thousand glittering pieces
Some clothed in shining radiance,
others sharp as knives
petulant in their disgrace.
I am in pieces
and I fear I cannot give
you everything of me
for some of my pieces were
lost, stolen, given freely
never to return.
I make myself up in words
to fill in the cracks
Sometimes all I have are words
burning bright as the sun
and though it burns my throat
and I have blisters on my tongue
to ravish you, mind and body
I say them like a prayer
falling on deaf ears.
But you refuse to hear me sing,
too personal, you say.

I never knew the sound
of a thousand pieces crashing then.
And now I learned
You are nothing,
Until you are everything to me.
Nov 2013 · 536
Tell me
Sarah Villaluz Nov 2013
Tell me something true
maybe something about you
Come closer
let me feel your warmth
against my skin

Tell me a lie
while you smile
and erase it from your lips
with a kiss

Tell me something you've never told anyone before
come on, show me more
look me in the eyes
as you penetrate
my thoughts
my body
my soul
allow me
to watch you
watch me

Tell me something new
what have you been up to
tell me while you hold me
to keep sleep at bay

Tell me something *****
make me laugh
and leave a bruise on my skin
with your teeth

Tell me something you've wanted to tell me
the first time we met
but didn't

Tell me goodbye
and mean it

Or tell me nothing at all
Nov 2013 · 450
Going back
Sarah Villaluz Nov 2013
A thousand glittering stars
spun road webs of white yellow and red
cannot console me
from this nagging feeling
that I've left something behind.
sprawling vastness that it is
like some dark, shiny creature
And I try
vainly
to find the light
that hits your face
I wonder where you are
right now
Are you looking up
while I'm looking down
are you engaged in this
futile search
to a add a moment
of solace
for those long nights
waiting for us?
30,000 thousand feet in the air
toes dangling
but my heart is heavy as lead

Enough
for now

this too shall pass
as all things do
with time.
Wings touch earth
I am back
but not
for very long.
Nov 2013 · 762
Secrets
Sarah Villaluz Nov 2013
I awaken
to the sound of blood
in my hips
moons come and go
predictably
but not today.
thoughts drift to the bottom
of an empty coffee cup
and I try to make sense
does it make me feel sad
to lose something
I never asked for
never thought about
never wanted
relief
stays with me for a minute
but not for long.

A strange regret to have.

I touch the last place you have been
Here
some spark lived here
a few days ago
but now- lost
as I am
how can I grow to love something
that did not exist
I've said I wouldn't want it
again and again
Didn't know I wouldn't mean it
at the end
I thought I could do anything
try every flavor ice cream there is
drink until I pass out
and burn everything
to keep myself warm every night
and not care
because I don't want it
until now
until you
will we see each other again?
I would have liked to meet you
see how you danced
but too late
this is the worst secret to keep
because a secret is always in the telling
but I'll say goodbye
with a few tears
a few wisps of cigarette smoke
I promise I won't tell Daddy about you
one last song
and a few notes of silence
to keep you safe
Goodbye, finally, breathe
it was nice not knowing you
And I'll just go back
to where I was
just a little more empty
than usual
Oct 2013 · 1.1k
Violent Disasters
Sarah Villaluz Oct 2013
If I could take my last five minutes of breath
I'd share them with you
Wrapped up in roots trees
of your island
As rain falls and crashes into the shivering  morning blue
we are hidden undercover
tangled in our own undoing
the fullness, the delicious sin of your fullness
in my hips
makes me cry out
and grab onto everything
to make you stay
here in this moment
I am like a young restless animal
eyes wild and naked
in your arms
We come together
like little disasters
earthquakes and hurricanes
violent and tumultuous
the unrelenting madness
in this dimly lit room
we make love
like some force of nature.
I am awake I am spinning
out of my hurricane mind
that can only be sated
with me screaming your name
like merciless pounding rain
on pavement
and skin
Make it last for as long
as I have the taste of you in my mouth
the slow, deep magnetic pull
of your body to mine
tracing small circles on your skin
branding soft kisses
in the secret places of you
until there you are
buried deep within me
and I am helpless
I feel the earth vibrate into my bones
in every pore
each dying for release
each one stronger than the last
inch of you
wanting and wanting
to be yours
to be mine
and in a few brief moments
transcendence
and crash breathless
into each other
only thing left is a faint sillage
and our racing heartbeats
like horses pounding hoof to earth
It feels like some ancient dance
or a dream
of a thousand suns
or the stillness of stars
in their endless celestial trance.
Nothing is as transporting
than the scent of your skin
the erratic beats
underneath my ear
I have no sense of time and place
anymore
I want more
than just words
Sarah Villaluz Sep 2013
There is a screaming that is inside me
that wakes me in the mornings
Awake, but frozen
in this island of moth eaten silk and gold.
I do not know who she is
and what she wants from me
but she lies over me
pinning my arms and feet
with silver pins and golden needles
it does not hurt, it does not bleed
But it does leave small
pinprick scars
that glint in the moonlight
my body awash with stardust
shake it off of me with every ******
I want everything to penetrate me-
birds, words, stars and men.
Yes, young prince, gaze upon me
release your ancient loneliness in me
I won't remember a thing
but having the sweetest dream


A spell to break
As heartbeats met-
please, please, whatever you do
Do not kiss me just yet.
Sep 2013 · 721
The Stranger
Sarah Villaluz Sep 2013
Another night of sleeplessness
in this cold shivering city
no gentle breeze with consoling arms
whistling green and free
to comfort me
on endless nights like this.
I walk
along blinking stardust streets
feeling the softness of moonlight

And a voice-
somewhere far away
beckons me, calling out my name
every sound like roughened velvet
on bare skin-
You say my name like some delicious sin.
Electric thrill runs down my spine
I swear I feel your breath beside-



Gone
Nothing but the feel of your eyes on me
As I drink in the night
with closed eyes.
The familiar hunger stirs.
Deep and achingly sweet, that is my curse.
I long for you to make me yours.
I yearn to be something more.
Take me away into the night
and enfold me
embrace me
slowly sink in
faceless, senseless.
let me melt into you
for I am yours
as you are mine-
always
in this lifetime
or the next.
Sep 2013 · 701
Lazy Mornings
Sarah Villaluz Sep 2013
Yawns chase each other
dancing slow dreamy steps
My mind wandered off
an hour ago
chasing after distraction
with a flash of whirling colors
like an iridescent hurricane.

My voice remembers some notes
of last night's laughter
My tongue blearily waking up,
savoring the feel of wine and smoke
Hair wondrously disheveled
Eyes with a tint of night's mantle
Lips languorous
throbs and silences
the steady pulsating beat of red

beckons me
to feel
morning gold on my skin.

I stick my tongue out
eager to take the sun in my mouth
intermingling with the smells of night on my clothes

Contentment is in the details.
Sep 2013 · 870
Paradise Circus
Sarah Villaluz Sep 2013
The mad beat of blood
pounding inside me
in firelit sands
the rush of ocean waves
I close my eyes
And lose myself to my body
moving as if hypnotized
like some ancient charmed snake
"Oh, the Devil makes us sin,
but we like it when we're spinning..."
out of control
as we bend time against its will
in one cyclical beat
slow it down
I open my eyes
And there you are

standing still
in this sea of bodies
And I am pulled towards you
like moon and tide
like some unknown magnetic entity
my eyes draw you near
"Because we like it when we're spinning..."
skin to skin
warm breath on my neck
eyes aflame
to this beat of lust lust lust
thank the Devil for this sin
again... Oh!
Inspired by the song "Paradise Circus" by Massive Attack.
Sep 2013 · 1.1k
Naked
Sarah Villaluz Sep 2013
She moves like poetry in the mornings.
Soft pink and gold kisses her all over
to wakefulness, to dream.
soft turns and breath music
enough to release me
from these moonbeam eyes
in a trance
the feel of her breath on my skin
hands undulate
beneath feather sheets
the feel of warm silk
on my own-
glorious.
Stirrings, small circles on my chest
the feel of her lips smiling
beneath closed eyes.
I cannot resist
running my finger down her spine
as the mad scent of her
engorges my brain.
I can watch her like this
for all eternity.
Butterflies flutter open
at the sound of my name.
The faintest trace of whirlwinds
at her fingertips
tracing my lips.
One kiss.
One smile.
And she is forever out of my life.
Sep 2013 · 569
Beauty Says
Sarah Villaluz Sep 2013
Beauty says
The night is young
You only sleep when you're dead
Let's dance and drink and ****
on this clear night
of stars princes and flashing lights

Beauty says
******* a kiss to keep my blood humming
like engine red scarlet lips
Keep me up, can you keep up?
tell me a pretty story
About them true love kisses and magic
like the magic in your pockets
poison my wine
when you think I'm not looking
and take me for a ride
let's have some fun in this place tonight

Beauty says
Shake me up, wake me up
I don't mind being a little rough
I'm that girl that loves her speed
dance dance trance girl
Because I'd only sleep when I'm ninety
Have you ****** someone lately?
Tell me what you wanna do
I'd get on my hands and knees
if you want me to
Just let me have my wings
and fly
Out of my mind

Beauty says
All this quiet frightens me to death
All them sleeping babes tucked in
smothering blankets in darkness
No soul to roam these streets
But that ******* Sun sneaking
into these sheets
the spell is broken
and I have to go back home
to castles dragons and daddy kings

Beauty says
The night is ours
You only sleep when you're dead
Just like me
Jul 2013 · 866
Urgency
Sarah Villaluz Jul 2013
Empty bottles
late night
a long look
at stars bright
hail a cab
hold tight

fast steps
hold hands
warm heat
the old dance
lick my lips
electric trance

I want you to undress me
As you would a flower
Crush my lips
breathe that heavy perfume
fire in the belly
hands like an army
conquer and unconquered
pounce to the beat
of this restless drum
engulf me, aflame
set this room on fire
maddening vivace
of red wine, blood
breath after breath
wave upon crash upon wave upon
color the night sky
one moment one infinity
your skin like magic
I fight
and claw
against inevitability
and time
prolong this
deliciousness
one two three hundred
moments of clarity
in an endless circle
I cry out
with stars in my eyes
And soft
                   I tremble
                   I sigh
                   A release
and the world stops
for just a moment
and it is enough
don't say a word
just lie here
with me
Jul 2013 · 733
Tonight
Sarah Villaluz Jul 2013
From thy lips
I have taken your sin
As the stars bear witness
like lamps
hanging from depthless vaults
of midnight blue
Your words
passing through electric fields
across land and sea
inflame me
for every day, each passing night
that you are not here.

Let me write your name
that has passed my lips
like a prayer of release
all over my body
like fingerprints
to mark me forever
as yours.
Let them find me here
In gossamer clouds
longingly staring at the moon
wanting of your touch,
your kisses,
your love.

Stay here with me
For it is not day
But the moon taking her steps
languorously
To keep you here with me
Away from the cold light of dawn.

How I pray that this must be so!
Time hasten your stride
For I tire of waiting
enduring every second too long
And bring my love to me-
Him and the sea salt taste of his skin,
his fiery breath upon my neck,
the caramel sweetness of his tongue.
Bring me his wondrous laughter
Or the cadence of his voice
so that I can store those notes in my heart
to claim them as my own
As his promise of ravishment
Hangs in the air
Like some heavy, perfumed fruit
the only cure for this hunger
that consumes me,
heart, body and soul.

Heavy sighs do I release, oh wondrous night,
And I hope it reaches my love,
wherever he may be tonight.
Jul 2013 · 1.5k
Enchantment
Sarah Villaluz Jul 2013
Decisiveness.
Swift and unfaltering.
steady strokes
unite ink and creamy paper
to herald this new day,
new life, anew.

I collect things- mostly words
written and unspoken
they hold a certain enchantment
and I gather them into my arms, my heart
like a greedy child
on seashell spun shores
and I hope to keep them here-
eternal and youthful
like the first memory of fireworks
and hot caramel
or glowing sea waves

I stack them on shelves
in between pages
in secret corners
even whispering to the wind
and in between the sheets

I keep things
and steal some things
like sunshine, rain, a kiss
because I wanted to
maybe you wanted me too
Desire is fleeting, ephemeral and often fickle
but it is decisive in the heat of the moment
sharp as a knife,
and it cuts through my thoughts
again and again
until
maybe just until-

I run out of pretty little words to collect
leaving me no choice
but to sing it out loud
the first three words I took
I took from a single glance
a secret gaze
from an electric dance
that we started
along time ago
one that seems to go on and on
like the pounding rhythm
of erratic heartbeats.

All of it means so little,
all of it means everything
or nothing.

And until that day comes
let me lie here
alone but me and the stars
to spin those pretty little words
feel their cadence on my tongue
with my eyes closed

lie here and wait
until the last sound
of your name
escapes me

And the enchantment
complete.
Jul 2013 · 661
Nightswimming
Sarah Villaluz Jul 2013
Here I am
come back again
like a breeze that blows
when a whistle escapes my lips

Come and find me
In the same place that I once left,
A place I forget to remember,
But never remember to forget

And when you do,
Come to me
Dark as night
Sweet as sin
Twin stars sparkling in the pale moonlight

And on some distant shore
Across star -crossed seas
Find me
kiss me in the dark
And tear my hips
with lips
spun with fire.
May 2013 · 552
5.7.2013
Sarah Villaluz May 2013
Restlessness haunts my soul.
diaphanous hours
breathe slowly
despite the prowling cat
padding around inside my chest.

One word, one promise
of far, far away
something to color my days and nights
something new to change
the taste on my tongue
another vision-

but for now,
painted stars
on my hands and feet
will suffice
to constantly remind me
of endlessness
and possibilities.

I close my eyes
vain attempts to will anything
I set my mind to-
but all I end up doing is falling into sleep
dreaming of dreams
from another dream
maybe from another's dream
another awakening
forgetting I was alone
in a sea of faces

alone to collect
pretty words
and maybe dream dreams with you
until you come true.
Mar 2013 · 464
The movement
Sarah Villaluz Mar 2013
fits and starts
A great silence falls from the sky
only deep draughts of air
and the maddening beat of blood
to fill this night
As starry eyes burn slowly
into midnight
into sea.

It is this moment that
I wish to steal from you-
like a furtive glance
or a forbidden kiss
I want to feel you here

please
Stay.

In this place
where no time passes
measured only in every breath
and every beat
and every word unspoken
to color the hours

mind whirling
as the last of the waves touches
naked           with eyes closed           like butterfly wings
and hands slowly tracing          circles on soft velveteen            salt on my lips
blood rushes to the hips
and slowly

ever so slowly

the ancient dance
the movement of the night
sets me aflame
anew.
Mar 2013 · 324
3.20.2012
Sarah Villaluz Mar 2013
Every scratch, every mark
every bruise of ink
on paper white skin

Every letter
and every word,
every question
in every song I've heard-

Again and again
all it ever does
is spell your name.
Feb 2013 · 756
2.5.13
Sarah Villaluz Feb 2013
The cold breeze stirs to give way
to sweltering exotic heat
Leaves start to flutter softly
as if floating on tranquil seas
Time passes in subtle shifts
And I, daughter of earth
yearn for the wild, lush
forests of my childhood
in this sterile, distant, concrete labyrinth
Cut off from the seas and mountains.

You were the son of the ocean,
still and quiet on some days
ferocious and relentless on most nights
And when We met
All I heard was a deafening roar
    of waves upon rocks
        upon sand
            upon me.

You stole my breath
with your liquid dark eyes
twin stars reflected on the waters of midnight
You taught me to dance
underwater tangos
naked in the moonlight
to run under the rain
holding hands and laughing
You tasted like hot caramel
on my soft, sweet tongue
     and salt
         and sunshine
Everything that is ever good in this world.

You have bewitched me completely
And each day I spend
away from your arms
burns me
that I fear
that your touch
could send me up in a puff of smoke
and I would disappear.
Nothing
but the memory
of your words, your laughter
your kisses and your skin on mine
are left to inflame me
on idle days such as this.

Take me home to my vast green forests
the feel of dew grass and earth
beneath my bare feet
walk with me
back to the dark sandy beaches
where we first made love
Stay with me until the sun rises
      on the next day
           of the next day
               of the next
Hold me in your arms
until the stars look big
And never let me go.
Jan 2013 · 667
1.4.2013
Sarah Villaluz Jan 2013
That's all there is.

Empty bottles. Cigarette butts.
Invisible stains of passion
And the scent of you
all over my body
to remind me
Of one night-
and that's all there is.

Pink and blue
laced with memories of you
coming full circle
to where we were
but everything is so
Different from what I remember.
Warm earth turns to cold, gunmetal steel
the boy I once knew
Is a new man
that I'm trying to know again.
that boy on the shore
has grown up.

And I guess I've been
chasing memories all this time
and this would be the last time
I would bleed for them.

It really takes losing everything
you've ever wanted
to be finally free.

Soreness in my limbs.
That's all there is.
fleeting as it is, a memory
waiting to be wrought anew.
It is enough for now.
And maybe enough for the nights to come.
One night was all there was.
One night that is only,
truly ours.
Jan 2013 · 523
11.22.2008
Sarah Villaluz Jan 2013
I was not meant to love,
how sorry I was that I had
such a troubled heart
A man by the sea beckoned me
And so I removed my bra to stay apart.

We danced with underwater stars
in gurgling laughter music
my body keeping time to his
this I did not know until it was
too late.
Random strains of guitar strings
made me bold enough to sing,
and in the flickers and waves
slowly
He brought me down to earth
and took my lips
as the stars stood watch over us.

I've had too much to drink
just like you
and in roughened walls
and porcelain seats
you tore me up anew.

One night was all there was.
One moment of clarity.
besieged me like a thousand drops of rain.

hastily I flew
leaving despite your eyelids aflutter
Forgive me, a thousand times over?

I kept my hair up high
after he drew it down loose,
I marked his back
with red smidgens of me
and stirred, all the more confused
He hollowed me out
and in its place
something new and strange
something close to love?
I cannot be sure.

Only that
every time I look into your eyes
I'll always look for that strange man
Standing by the sea
All this time
he's been waiting for me.
Jan 2013 · 556
8.23.2006
Sarah Villaluz Jan 2013
Where has it gone, that green shirt?
- that shirt that started it all.
It was a dark, stormy night,
But being convinced as hell keeps you dry
despite your best efforts
you managed to bring the sky and the sea with you,
All for the price of two bottles of beer.
Sopping wet, you were irresistible.
So I drew that green shirt
over my head
And finally, said "yes".

you drew me down low
kissing me with questions
laid out on white clouds
as the storm screamed through.
you kissed me where it bled
and with blood on your lips
you tore my hips

and crashed
like waves
into rocks
into sand
into sea.

a light, a small fire flickers.

breathing softly,
you hum songs about the last of summers
as I lay there
emptied out
and new.

dawn colors
white cloud blankets red
and I stir
looking into reflections
on ripples
looking into
this new Someone
I knew I was.
hastily, you keep things
now forever lost
things I will never see again
storing them
in your blackhole backpack
and gave me a smile,
taking my hand to lead me home.

Walking hand in hand-
your lack of sleep, my garbled being
trying to make sense
trudging silently
shaking in the cold morning light.

Oh, where did you take me,
on that auspicious night by the sea?
did you keep the red clouds
to remind yourself of me?

The first journey I took.
The first of many, so says the book.
But always, on quiet nights like these,
I ask-
Will you ever look back
for that which you took?
Jan 2013 · 762
Pablo
Sarah Villaluz Jan 2013
The first time I laid eyes
on You,
I stood rooted
as though my heart has flown away.
Your form
like silken thread
wrapping around me
like the wild tendrils of my hair
Oh such profound sadness!
echoing inside me
A gentle thrumming drum
like a half empty wine glass
I am full
bled full of diamonds.

I've known you all my life
though I may not touch you
or kiss you;
You are here-
in the distance of nearness,
Your voice in the stillness
never wavering
like a little red bird
flying in the sea breeze
calling me home.

— The End —