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Oct 19 · 76
Electronic Gods
S E Pope Oct 19
We've all become distracted by ourselves
Worried about how many Followers we have
Sixty second Gods of our own making
An electronic Bible in our hands

Comments then become passages of Truth
Faith being written by everyone else
Talking to no one alone in our homes
Influencing ourselves to Death
Oct 18 · 26
Sacrificed
S E Pope Oct 18
The villain
In my life
Showed her face
At an early age
I saw the evil
In her eyes and teeth
The rage of a mother
Who didn’t want to be

My failure was
Being told the truth
And then denied love
That was deserved
You didn’t believe
What was spat in my face
Victims to this veiled facade
Sacrificed my childhood

She’s haunted
My every move
While you bullied me
With your guilt
This truth of
Being unwanted
Revealed through my
Shattered innocence

The villains
In my life are
My mothers before me
Forced love is
Layered with disdain
So I suffer the weight
Of their unwanted children
Mine will never know this shame
Oct 2 · 84
The Real Me
S E Pope Oct 2
I only exist in my mind
Revealing the person I need
To be when the time is right
The most real parts of me
Live and breathe in what I write
The person that you see
Is not even really alive
Sep 25 · 50
A Bump on the Head
S E Pope Sep 25
I don’t know what it was, but it was beautiful, and warm. It was almost blinding. It was something I’ve never seen before, but it felt like a place that I had been many times. There was a sharp pain, but only for a moment. The pain left my body, and I assume so did I. In plain view, high above myself, I saw my small body and the blood pooling around my tiny skull. People rushing to help, touching my head to help the bleeding stop, but I felt nothing. They called for help, and I heard not a sound. I looked up, felt no fear, and I flew high above the ground. Faster than I’d ever seen anything move.

The higher I rose in the atmosphere, more parts of me began to fall away. My skin, clear. I could see my insides and my lungs as they breathed. The mechanism of this physical life. Then it was gone.  Everything that I knew I was had completely disappeared. I moved out of time, leaped into space. There I was, no longer anything. Surrounded by nothing. I became a God just riding my bike.

We live in such a minimal world, so much unknown an so little perceived. The colors I could see are like nothing anyone has ever seen. They are brighter, and they can talk to me. They told me this was where I belonged, and this was my home and I’m welcome any time, but that I’m earlier than expected. They knew me. They knew my entire life and all the ones before. The longer I stayed the more I understood. My soul, still in the age of a child, so they told me to go back. This is just a small step on a journey of excellence. I have too much life to live and learn. This experience, would also serve its purpose.

Time seemed to go on for years and with every passing moment my own colorful form would expand. The longer I lingered the harder it became to collect all the parts of whatever it is I had become. The images before me spun and swirled. Their movements were seamless and graceful. I experienced all these sensations no human had ever described. Then one, finally felt familiar. I felt the sensation of falling. Whatever I was, color reaching across space, was ****** back into itself and it blurred my vision.

I began floating downward, slowly. As I descended I gained lightning speed, and took back my recognizable form. My physical body, my fingers and toes had returned, and I felt the wind on my skin. And there I was, still lying on the ground. A blanket over my shoulders, my lips still pink. I hovered there for a long while recalling all that I had just experienced. I knew as soon as I returned my memory would betray me. My selfish attempt to recall the colors I had grown to love. My physical body was merely seven years old, but that’s old enough for the ties to be severed, to have lost that connection to the spirals. The innocence that gets buried by death, and I wanted to remember.

So I gave in. I opened my eyes. The clouds were bright and my mother’s eyes ignited. Her screams of joy were shattering, and her voice a familiar sound from my journey. I sat up, touched the blood that ran down my face, and flew again, this time into my mother’s arms. She held me and cried, thanking God for letting me live. Unknowingly thanking me for my own decision. I sobbed, grateful for this home.

I was back, I was alive, and I remembered.
Sep 24 · 47
The Forest of Corpses
S E Pope Sep 24
The universe was on my side when I bought that winning ticket. I stumbled upon more money than I knew what to do with. The first objective on my list was to get out of that awful apartment. The paper thin walls made it hard to exist. The musty smell of leaky faucets. Now I could go anywhere. Do, or be anything. The run down city I used to call home, became old news so I left it behind.

I flew across the sea, traveling along northern European lands until I found a little forest on the boarder of coastline. I made an appointment to procure this piece of land, a blank slate that I could manipulate into whatever I desired. A quiet place I could finally create the peace I always craved.

The day was damp, foggy, and gray. I drove up the gravel road I had already explored. A powerful sensation of dread crept into my spine, and burned my chest, it grew the closer I got to the little shack in the grove. I refused to acknowledge any thoughts of negativity, this was everything I had ever wanted, and needed. All my life I longed for a secluded little space to be inspired from, to evolve into my personal sanctuary.

I imagined a pool house and detached sauna. Three stories of cement with skylights in every room on the top floor. I saw an acre of landscape with waterfalls and ponds. Oh the work I have ahead of me to transform this lost land. Time had done its damage but it will soon be mine to improve. There are trees to be cut, bushes to be trimmed, and grass to be uprooted for the driveway.

The atmosphere grew colder as I pulled up to the broken windows and chipped shiplap. The only structure within the vast acreage I would acquire. The foliage was overgrown leading to the tree line. Behind the tall grass, more acres of woods stood waiting to be explored for what could be the first time in a century. The sound of the creek, the large meadow opposite of the trees, it all seemed too perfect to imagine. Yet, those feelings of dread and displacement grew larger than the tip of the oaks that stood before me.

The little house was decrepit. Whoever built it left without finishing. The roof was missing shingles, and the walls were rotten with mold. The windows had broken from swelling in the misty morning fog. Food left on tables I could smell from a distance. The realtor said the last owners only stayed a few weeks before leaving without a trace. Surely everything here had to go, including the branches than had fallen in front of the door. Demolition was now at the top of my list. I would hire a team to quickly tear down everything in sight.

I had seen all I needed to see. The decision was easily made. I needed this place to be mine, but that feeling in my spine, in the chest, it crawled into my throat. I stepped to the edge of the tree line, and the wind blew so hard it ****** me into the branches. The sound of the forest grew louder than my own thoughts. There were different languages I had never heard before, for the wind, the leaves, and the insects that now surrounded me. These voices boomed and consumed my entire mind until they synchronized. They tried every language until finding the one I understood.

It was clear I was unwelcome here. This untouched place, full of ghosts and beech trees. The voices spoke and told me I should leave. Humans weren’t welcome in this part of their realm. The tornado of wind finally slowed down and I was able to see. Skulls and other bones, piled around me. Some more decayed than others, but all human. No animal carcass in sight. They intertwined with the roots, were half eaten by fallen leaves. The collective voice spoke to me again, it said if I were to linger too long this would surely be my end. That the forest would **** me in and use my body to bloom. With every corpse it claimed, the forest grew.

I felt breathless as another gust of wind spat me out. I wanted this place! It was mine! I needed the natural world at my side, but it did not want me. It wanted no part of my vision of planned destruction. It would rather feed on the death of the most natural parts of me.

I left quickly, as to not further disturb this evil sanctuary. The message was clear and I followed the instructions. I left all that beauty behind, untouched, and wondered if the previous owners had become part of the woodland graveyard. Did they stay and try to commune into nature, to learn and grow and speak their language? Or did they flee, like me?

I still value my life, and I do not want it to end.

Why would I when I still have all that money to spend?
Sep 23 · 58
The Passing Storm
S E Pope Sep 23
You are a storm cloud
Heavy with tears
Flooding me with your misery
But you don't live here

I am a sunset
Colorful and calm
Shining light into the darkness
Your poems don't live here anymore
Sep 23 · 41
Tonight's Sky
S E Pope Sep 23
The sky is so mesmerizing
I might be dreaming
The clouds are out
Changing and teaching
Beaming with colors
Connecting to my soul
My heart drifts so fast
My head can't follow
Sep 23 · 54
Made of Gold
S E Pope Sep 23
There are things we think
We will always know
However troubles continue
To come and go
There are people we were
And places we've grown
The scenery changes
But our roots are deep
And forever gold
Sep 23 · 46
Boomerang
S E Pope Sep 23
Don't fall in love, no
Not with me
My misery is toxic
And spreads like disease

Don't get trapped, and
Twisted by me
You can't hold water
And I'm free as the sea

Don't hold on, don't
Reach too far into me
You'll lose grip in the storm
And get struck by my lightning

Don't look back, no
Look forward from me
Don't come back around
I'm a boomerang that leaves
Sep 23 · 141
The End of Autumn
S E Pope Sep 23
The bitter cold
Is in full bloom
Its sharp winds
Are singing hymns
That strike my cheekbones
Like a fresh razor
With Summer long past
The birds have packed and left
Abandoning their nests
Off to search for sunnier leaves
As Winter thrives
And lays us to rest
I'll freeze with the roots
Of the lonely naked trees
Until the ice melts
Into the sweet chirps of Spring
Sep 4 · 38
What We Become
S E Pope Sep 4
I am going to change my life
Tomorrow

I have to make a plan
Tomorrow

I need to exercise and eat right
Tomorrow

I will get up early and go to bed on time
Tomorrow

I should appreciate the sunset
Tomorrow

I will finally get out of bed
Tomorrow

I believe I will be happy
Tomorrow

I have to start loving myself
Tomorrow

I am going to care about me
Tomorrow

I need to be better than this
Tomorrow

I know I can be better than this
Tomorrow

I will still be alive
Tomorrow

I’ll have something to look forward to
Tomorrow
S E Pope Aug 27
I celebrate your birthday
Year after year
With Fight Club and tacos
And Pink Floyd in my ears
I mourn on your death day
The same day every year
The day you entered the world
The same day you left us here

I think if you most days
November being so cold
I write of you from my memory
As we enter another year of you gone
I hold onto the idea
You’ll meet me again down the road
I see you in so many faces
And know you're guiding me from above

For my beautiful friend.
Randal Scott Cobb
11/10/90 - 11/10/12
Aug 27 · 48
Left Behind
S E Pope Aug 27
I expect to be treated like an equal
When I have nothing to contribute
I am a well of interesting information
That dries up in the middle of inclusion

What do I do with my hands
Except inhale anxiety relief
Always dissecting the surrounding voices
That somehow begin to exclude me

Two by two breaking off into stories
Bared witness to the unbearable mess
I had something to say minutes ago
My burning lungs were left behind in distress

I don't know how to be me anymore
Broken so long the pieces have scattered
They fly through the gusty winds of my mind
Smiling through conversations that don't matter

I watch everyone move on with their lives
As I stand alone in crowded space
I reflect on how I could be better
Quietly searching for the right words to say
About isolation and never knowing where to fit into a crowd.
Aug 18 · 105
Nothing in The Mirror
S E Pope Aug 18
How do I know that I'm real?
Is it the flow of water over my hands as I swim through the lake?
Feeling the sun warm my skin at the cresting break of day?
Or is it looking in your eyes with my reflection staring back at me?

How do I know my childhood was real?
A dreamscape of fragmented amalgamations
Could I be a figment of my own imagination?
My demeanor a byproduct of a helpless child unhealed

I don't understand how I'm real
When I can't breathe most of the time
I created a place of comfort to visit in my mind
Now I never feel the same after lifting the thinly woven veil

I don't think I could possibly be real
Often asleep in the day to let the fractal dreams take over
It's more real than dirt left behind on the floor
And my reflection in your bright eyes begins to disappear

How do I know that anything is real?
Is it the way I fly through the magnificent stars at night?
Or the way you see me when I turn off my light?
I keep waking up to this reflection but there's nothing in the mirror
Aug 14 · 66
An Affair to Dream
S E Pope Aug 14
My glorious friend
Who stops my tears
Is always there
Warming the years
My secret lover
Who built a house for my dreams
An eternal companion
Guiding me through the sheep
To be lost with you
Is to sink into the deep
Subconscious arrival
Led to boundless longing
Without you I’m broken
Cracked into pieces
My heavy eyelids
Scratching at the sun peak
The affair of your arrival
Here to steady my breathing
I look for you around every corner
Waiting for my everything
Long days laid to rest
Your comfort is mine to keep
I lay my head in your love
And drift into the arms of sleep
Aug 4 · 49
The Criminal
S E Pope Aug 4
I was a petty thief
Committing celestial crimes
I bounced between the eclipses
Convincing stars to dim their light

Caught in a conjunction
Aiding the planets collide
An orchestrated sunset
Burned out for the last time

Galactic enemy number one
They searched for me far and wide
I hid in constellations
Calculating their divide

An attempt to travel backwards
Found me scaling an event horizon
After searching millions of light years
I was sentenced to human life

I made destruction and chaos
Turned love into painful lies
Tinkered with eruptions and cyclones
Until all of us quickly arrived

I don’t come from here
These streets I was raised
Glorified battlefields crushed
By heavy emotional chains

I’ve lived every life imaginable
It was my punishment to create
Time that moves fast and feels slow
A petty criminal condemned to fate
What if god was a criminal and we are his prison?
Jul 26 · 54
Severed
S E Pope Jul 26
You don’t know alone like me

Seeped in thoughts and isolation
Regrets of how I couldn’t maintain a connection
I don’t know how to be
A good friend
Or lover
Or kind to anyone, especially me
I imagine a life of peace
Not rage
Or despair
Or endless longing

I crave beauty
In my cave of screaming
Sometimes I convince myself I’m okay
And happy
But when the glass walls crack
And break
And shatter
I’m cut open by my own
Shards of self loathing

Some say I’m too honest
Except with myself
I live in a delusional mindset
Where I’m happy and carefree
I’m healthy and active
Aware and enlightened

The truth of reality is
I’m bold and assuming
Enraged and pessimistic
Seeing things for what they are poisoned my psyche
I trained myself to let go
And I have
Of everything

Now I’m alone
Abandoned self worth
A sulking fate of nothing
Terrified of the end I historically accept
From the moment I was told
I’m nothing at 7 years old
I believed it
I gave in
And I’ve been fighting a losing war
Within myself ever since

I’ve been gone
From my body
And my soul
The tie was severed too young
And I don’t know how to return

No one knows alone like me
Jun 26 · 58
The Feast of Elephants
S E Pope Jun 26
I am an elephant
Quietly observing
The crowded room
Of your mind

I take up space
Sinking further
In silent caverns
Eating away at time

I do not speak
However linger
To remind you of failure
Leaving you blind

I am a master
Harboring control
Over chemicals of joy
Stealing light from your eyes

I hold the weight
Pinning down
Your hope for freedom
While you are mine

I am the end
Pursuing possession
With mindful haste
To bury pieces of you alive
Jun 16 · 123
Gnats in The Kitchen
S E Pope Jun 16
I didn’t do the dishes today
Instead I played video games
And ordered takeout again
There are gnats in the kitchen
And I didn’t want to go in there

I didn’t make myself coffee today
Instead I stayed in my bed
And watched a show that I love
I didn’t want to go in there
There are gnats in the kitchen

I didn’t do the laundry today
Instead I wore the same clothes again
And the walls ate me alive
There are gnats in the kitchen
And I didn’t want to go in there

I didn’t take out the trash today
Instead I stared at my phone
And rotted with the takeout from yesterday
I didn’t want to go in there
There are gnats in the kitchen

I didn’t go outside today
Instead I let the blankets swallow me
And every day I’m more confined
There are gnats in the kitchen
And I don’t want to go in there
Jun 15 · 148
Wonder
S E Pope Jun 15
Take me to
The crystal castle
Where the sun
Always shines
And the flowers
Are always
In full bloom
Forcing the
Darkness inside me
To hide
Scaring it away
With a beaming
Love frequency
So I finally know
What it's like
To be free from
Overwhelming misery
Jun 15 · 61
Prisoner
S E Pope Jun 15
I get all
Twisted up
Inside
And that part
Of me
Is fleeting

Passing through
Like leaves in
The wind

Only to
Break free from
Myself
Through simple acts
Of admitting
Who I am
On this page

I don't need
Anyone
To accept
What is necessary
For me
For what happens
Inside of me

I just wish
I wouldn't
Do this to myself
Jun 15 · 45
Release
S E Pope Jun 15
I won't be getting any sleep
Until I feel my fingers sting
When everything I've felt
Is on the floor left to bleed

Until I've washed off all my skin
And I'm spiraling forward to the end
My tired soul will find no words
Nothing to define a reason to exist

This battle leaves me in a daze
Behind my eyes lie nothing but flames
The only light allowing some hope
Erodes me to dust like crashing waves

One hundred years is so long to breathe
All while searching for a way to be free
With my heart locked away in stone
The only escape is in the bottom of my dreams
Jun 14 · 61
Earth Medicine
S E Pope Jun 14
I stare at the walls
In awe as they breathe
My couch is a hole
Helping me sink

My circular thoughts
Begin to dissolve
The doors creep open
An invitation to evolve

Eyes open or closed
Either way I can see
The glasses on my nose
Become a silver screen

I look out at the trees
For their vibrational touch
Tears streaming down my face
They love me so much

Strolling into the grass
Becoming one with the ground
Each blade tells a story
A new truth to be found

The clouds are dancing
In colors never seen
Taking away my breath
And giving me peace

My soul starts expanding
Reaching across space
Loving every particle
Receiving yellow warm embrace

The things that were heavy
Have become lifted weight
The reality of oneness
Eases the burden of fate

Another voyage through the stars
The peak begins to fade
I feel nothing but gratitude
For medicinal earthly change
S E Pope Jun 5
Her face was soft
While peering out the window
Eyes Piercing the moon
Tiny diamonds shining in the light

I saw her life
In a glimmering moment
An eternity of ache
The despondent observer

I passed her by
Head against the glass
A young soul searching
For some peace among the trees

The sea of inner state lights
Hypnotized her mind
I will never know her name
But I will forever know her face
Jun 1 · 60
The Prologue
S E Pope Jun 1
My mind thinks in poetry
I hope you understand
This is where I’ve always belonged
In the glow of a sunset with pen in hand

My heart feels in poetry
I hope you understand
This is an evolution of soul
I’m leaning into what I am
May 19 · 68
Radioactive Woman
S E Pope May 19
I was born of steel and smoke
Sent here from a realm unknown
Guided through the eternal core
Breathing the magma as it filled my lungs

I was shaped by salt and stone
Hardened from the depths below
Veins weaved by stars of solid gold
Erupting the crust the end begins to flow

I was made to steam and seethe
Ripping through the laid concrete
No one knows but everyone can see
A sunlit force igniting the trees

I was born of death and dreams
The ethereal womb of boundless being
Floating over the desperate streets
A plutonic revival built to consume everything

I was shaped by doom and despair
Origins beyond maps of historic lore
Intended as the light of atomic desire
The reactionary relationship became nuclear

I was made to deceive and destroy
Sent from explosions that were left behind
An eternity of rage seeped from the void
A radioactive woman was created from life
May 17 · 50
The Anchor
S E Pope May 17
We live in layers like the ocean
Some swim deep enough to drown
Reaching out to the warm surface
For a single gasp of sunlit air
To keep from sinking further down

On the bottom of the sea floor
Lungs filling with fear and doubt
We crave the shallow end of simplicity
A thoughtless shell spread across the banks
Yearning to dry out

A mind moves fast like a current
Strong waves keeping us bound
Living to be free like the water
We hope for an anchor to cut through the layers
So that we may be found
Apr 26 · 439
Abandoned
S E Pope Apr 26
My abandonment issues came from me
I abandoned myself in my time of need
My inner voice says evil things
I only hear myself when I say I’m nothing

I never knew how to take care of me
Only existing for other peoples needs
Cast aside like all abandoned things
Now I’m alone and know I’m nothing
Aug 2023 · 155
The Gift I Never Wanted
S E Pope Aug 2023
This paper no longer cuts it
And the words I use have lost meaning
My ink is drying out and;
I’ve lost focus in the goals I’m not achieving

Motivation comes from inspiration
And the fire is dying out
The spices have lost their flavor and;
I’m losing my battle for sound

If this doesn’t make sense
It shouldn’t
I’m not trying to impress him or her

My purpose is to give hope but;
That’s impossible when I’m not heard
I don’t believe in tall tales
But I can’t help but break every mirror

If this sounds like a cry for help
It isn’t
I just want my reflection to disappear

The smile on my face is deceiving but;
No one would know the difference
I’ll cross my fingers behind me
In hopes that no one will notice

If you listen carefully
And read between the lines
You’ll take this in your own sort of way

If you think this is a plea for attention
It isn’t
You just simply don’t understand what I say
Aug 2023 · 227
Nothing pt2
S E Pope Aug 2023
I wanted
To become nothing
And nothing I became

So now
I am
And more importantly
I am not
Aug 2023 · 497
Acquaintance
S E Pope Aug 2023
Inside the art gallery halls
I watched you
Instead of the show

In the wet parking lot
I kissed you
Underneath the light snow

In another life
I may have loved you
But my car slid off the road
Aug 2023 · 604
Growing Cold
S E Pope Aug 2023
I had poems
On the tip of my tongue
Then life
Piece by piece
Cut it off
And silenced me

My voice is
Frozen in the dark
Every day
Little by little
It'll get colder
Until it shatters me
Aug 2023 · 120
A Narcissists Wife
S E Pope Aug 2023
My love was your IV bag
for replenishing your confidence
and reinforcing control

You mainlined my empathy
my desire for reciprocity
and established a satisfying home

My compassion became your approval
to erode my dignity
and self-worth

Every day was a web laced with gasoline
a smolder of desire
isolating any hope

My helplessness was your nourishment
a feast on my weakness
picking the bones of my soul

You stole every moment available
throwing tantrums of demands
always begging for a little more

My strength became your virus
and I allowed it to **** what grew
proving that I didn't need you at all
Aug 2023 · 434
The Infinite
S E Pope Aug 2023
Things are not
As they seem
Nature is flowing
Everything is free
I am a vibration
The one you cant see
Not for what it is
Not as you believe

Created in barriers
Of a certain kind
Removing our thoughts
Speeds up the time
I am the light
The one leaving you blind
Instantly unaware
Then caught in a lie

There are no rules
That cannot be seen
Everything is nature
Every one is free
I am the truth
The one you can't be
Millions of years old
As the wind breathes
Mar 2018 · 244
Grey
S E Pope Mar 2018
Into a trap
I fell
From myself
Lost
In the fade
Stuck
In the grey

Thoughts loom
Black
And white
Caught
In a haze
Stranded
In grey

Watching the
Color
Move around me
Hopeless
In a daze
Frozen
And grey

Dull and bright
So endlessly
Intertwined
Yet motionless
As I
Remain
Grey
Nov 2017 · 206
The Flood
S E Pope Nov 2017
Disaster strikes
And the storm rolls in
Harsh and fleeting
Thoughts move like wind
Beating and breaking
Myself from within
Flooding my lungs
No sight of the end

Waves keep crashing
Against my soul
I’m failing to breathe
In the wake of it all
Lightning strikes
There is no control
Shouting at the weather
Waiting for the calm
May 2017 · 265
Nothing
S E Pope May 2017
Feeling is
Misunderstanding
Who I am
Is not
Who I am
Peace is
The knowledge of
Nothing
We are here
But we
Don’t exist
Restless
For more
Yet become
Nothing

I don’t match
Myself or
My home
Of nothing
Traveling back
In time
In my own
Mind
I have to
Remember
Nothing
Betrayed by
Time
We must strive
To remember
To know
Nothing
May 2017 · 249
The Balance
S E Pope May 2017
My heart
Isn't swollen
With grief
Or gratitude
I simply exist
And move through
Space
In perfect contentment
With change
Simplification
And halted ambition
Yet, still
continuing on
A road of
Peace

My soul  
Housed in walls of
Love
Even through
Much chaos
I remain in
The balance
Putting out fires
Of disconnection
And clearing floods
Of negative rain, I
Tackle each wave
With awakened hope
To continue on
This path
Of beauty and
Light
May 2016 · 296
Living Dead
S E Pope May 2016
Can you hear me
Quiet and enraged
Silently screaming
Left on an empty page

War is thriving
Inside my head
Dying to feel alive
But mostly living dead

Words I can’t find
Are stuck in my throat
Suffocating my mind
Forcing me to choke

Time is persistent
Leaving us in pain
Looking for permanence
Yet spiraling down the drain

Trying to survive
Hosted by dread
Fighting for our lives
We dangle by a thread

Our battles were lost
And our joy was mislead
Existing like ghosts
Alive but mostly dead
Feb 2016 · 408
The Healer and The Ruiner
S E Pope Feb 2016
I have all these desires
Wrecking my steady mind
To correct all that is broken
If it means ruining a life

Some of us need to be broken down
To be ripped at our very core
To be torn into a thousand pieces
And left without any hope

Some of us deserve nothing
Insurmountable tragedy till the end
I want to be the ruiner
To expel those who can’t comprehend

There is no reason for your pitiful life
If you cannot think for yourself
You are nothing and you are nobody
And no one can help

Insanity is drawn to me
By the healing energy I exude
I love with all of my heart
Like I have nothing to lose

I wish that I could shut it off
And learn to hate and ruin
Instead I listen to all of the chatter
And give in to the illusion

There is nothing I want to heal for anyone
I'd rather leave it all behind
I don’t want to be what I am either
I'd rather watch everything die
Dec 2015 · 310
White Walls
S E Pope Dec 2015
Permanently surrounded
By white walls
Nothing to put to bed
The madness that deprives me

Blinded by the white
Mental institute-esque walls
With no colors or intricate designs
Nothing to define who I am, or why

Much like blank paper
Stacked in a straight line
We are here as money pigs
To further stack the dimes

Judged by our colors we fade
Into the professional shade of white
Hide everything about yourself
You might shine too bright

Welcome to the corporation
Here is your box of white walls
Make all the money for us
With pennies in your mouth

So please be sure to keep
Your personality tight
Who you are does not blend
With our standard black and white
Dec 2015 · 318
Blank Pages
S E Pope Dec 2015
All I see are blank pages
With no ink to get the story straight
We are often confused by inconsistent surroundings
And incapable of perceiving our fate

I see nothing behind your beautiful eyes
No room for growth or elegant light
I hear your words and they are blank
So very troubled by thoughtless minds

Our focus is shifted towards lifeless time
Learning nothing amidst the darkness and light
We read every one of our own empty pages
But all we really know is opinionated lies

All I see is one remarkable creation
Losing the battle between fear and compassion
We were meant to be more than simple blank pages
If we could possibly see beyond our own dissolution
Aug 2015 · 414
Free
S E Pope Aug 2015
I don’t know who I am
Because I don't want to be anyone
I just want to live, and love
To be, and to breathe

I don't know who you are
Because I don't understand anyone
Who can't see, and feel
And accept, and continue on

We are trapped light
In a vessel without hope
Without remorse
Without empathy for the other parts of us

I don't know who you are
Because I am you; and
I do not yet, know me
Forever reflecting in the ocean of your eyes

Look into me
And you will see, love
Inspiration from inside
Parts of me I can't usually find

I don’t know who I am
But I learn more as I see
We are infinitely connected
And love will set each of us free
Feb 2015 · 311
Lost
S E Pope Feb 2015
The universe misplaced me
As I wandered through the infinity
It couldn't keep ahold of my energy
Now I'm trapped in this useless being

Life must be punishment since hell isn't real
Nothing could be worse than things a human can feel
On such a small scale how can we heal
When nothing is solved and nothing is clear

I try to be positive and look to the sky
But I came to this existence universally blind
On physical ground I cannot get high
But home is in the stars and we all leave this behind
Dec 2014 · 372
Living Sickness
S E Pope Dec 2014
Living sickness
A hopeless mess
A thirst for life
That can only be quenched by death
It's hard to let go
And I'm sad all the time

Disappointed by
The inability to leave
Born with attachments
That hold me down and bind me
I just can't comprehend
The concept of family

Everything is diminishing
Putting out my burning fire
Letting darkness swallow me
And then I can't breathe
I'm so sick of being alive
I can't even think

There are no words for waves
That pull me down
To the depths of insanity
All I want is to be free
Not stuck in this living sickness
And this atmosphere of instability
Dec 2014 · 358
Everything
S E Pope Dec 2014
I feel everything
All at once
All the time

My mind is always escaping
Chasing dreams
And blurry fantasies

Then I zone in on the words
Reeling me in
Flushing my senses

Coming back down
To earth and life
Unfamiliar with all of this

Everything is clear
Except what I believe
And the sleepy stars within me

Sometimes I know what I feel
But it can never be at peace
Impossible when you feel everything
Dec 2014 · 402
Liquid Thin
S E Pope Dec 2014
I am nothing
But a worthless pieces of ****
If the world was an iceberg
I'd be the tip
Waiting to sink
Every sad passing ship
Solid as a rock
Until darkness hits
And it breaks me into pieces
Wearing me liquid thin
Dec 2014 · 517
Breakthrough
S E Pope Dec 2014
No matter how low the volume is turned
underneath all the distracting noise
when death sings her songs into my ears
they fill up all the spaces of my mind

No matter how bright and burning my soul
there's a spot that's always raining
so I can feel whole
May 2014 · 441
A Travelers Mind
S E Pope May 2014
My head is often far away
Wandering through the cosmic space
Dreaming of somewhere I'd rather stay
Amongst the stars so I can feel safe

I refuse to look down as I soar above
Riding a magic carpet made of star dust
I'll come back to reality if I absolutely must
But the clouds tell better stories than us

I've got other worlds bursting at the seams
Galaxies of love that are trying to break free
I'll pour myself out as if part of the sea
My head is always floating away from me
Apr 2014 · 501
The Music and the Musician
S E Pope Apr 2014
Do you know I listen to you?
The melodies you make
And the words you sink into me

I remember those words
Afraid, I no longer watched you
Listened to you
Loved you

But time has changed
And you still play my heart strings
And I long to watch you
Listen to you
And love you to no end

To hear your music
Watch your movements
And master the art of your body again

The musician I loved so madly

I want to scream and break my lungs
There's no need for fear
No more
I'm here
I'm with you now
For my music
And my musician

And I'll write about your beauty
How it penetrates my being
Not how I yearn for my love
And life to return
And how I want to take back my melody
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