Though the Summer sun
No longer muffles its rays
With trees, but is full with
Daytime,
I will let you sleep.

Though the cat is playing
With your feet under the
Cover to annoy them into the
Kitchen,
I will let you sleep,  

And feed her myself.
I'll keep the news on low;
Only be whispered to of the
Deaths and tragedies we've
Slept through.

And if my every dream as of
Lately has been true; that
You miss the freedom of an empty
Bed when I'm there;
The room for another it creates,

I will let you sleep.
I will close every door of the house
Between us, hide my pain
In my hands and feel it run
Like the last of our sand between
My fingers.

I will not wake you up with
A single sigh, snuffle or drop of
Tear on this floor that
We walked in our days of love.
I will suffer for us alone.
And let you sleep.

Carcinogenic gasps
between photogenic thighs
create esoteric muscle movement
that moves me inside.
Your parents are therapists,
and mine choose not to be alive;
the words they say
don't work for moments we hide.

Jesus Christ before the sunset rust,
if I'm so alive
then why do I lust
absence.

There's a place
where I'd like to drown
every Saturday.
The water's warm
and thick in my lungs
and I'm no longer afraid.

Colliding with epinephrine,
your neck thrusts forward;
you kiss the steering wheel.
"Do you know
how much
you mean to me?"
Your eyes meet mine  
before disappearing in the glass mist.
I love you.

Solitude refined,
It aches in the most hidden parts
Of my soul, untouched.

Love refrained,
It aches to know we can never be,
It hurts to know you were
Never meant for me.

Searching for purpose
Why do I seek for love when I know,
It is the one thing missing?

Purged in iniquity
I dont feel human anymore.
Overpowered in every way possible,
Fighting for breath.

These words I write,
These words I say,
Can you hear me cry the night away?

I'm trying to come through,
Calling out
To the air.
Needless to say,
I feel like I'm falling
Head first onto the ground.

I wish I could break
Shatter into a million pieces
Of sharded glass, waiting to be stepped on.
Causing you to bleed wouldn't hurt me
Because I would already be broken.

This universe doesn't give a ****
Whether we're moving
Or camping out on life's sidelines.
The doers, in the end
Meet the same fate as the dreamers.

I want you to break me.
Work me until I fall apart
Until I can't take it anymore.
At least then
I will overdose on my need for perfection
Before I die of it.
You can take my needle from me
Before my heart stops beating.
Before it turns my blue vein black.

Then maybe I can stop craving
Everything that hopes to **** me off.

Falling deeper into this pit of despair
Clawing, fighting a way out
Why does it seem so hard?
Plagued with pity and self-doubt!

Dark, scared and lonely is my life
Seemingly endless days of pain
Who will help me?
Strident cries for release in vain!

Daylight beckons on the far horizon
Just a flicker of life giving light
Come to rescue me?
From this my life’s plight!

So onward and upward steadily
Clutching at eternal hope
Is it my time?
Please, someone, help me to cope!