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 Dec 2013 Sarah MacCoy
rosered
I keep coming
Just come back
I can’t stand it
I hate it
I cant stand on my own
I just fall to your feet

You simply look at me
One look and I'm done
I hate my weakness
Every ounce of resolve
Every bit of strength I had saved up
Is stolen away as soon as we lock eyes

And you smile
That smile I hate
I hate the way it’s so cocky
And crooked
And beautiful

But what I hate the most is that when I look at you
You don't feel a thing
I'm lying here,
So restless in bed
You're the only thought,
I have in my head.

Thinking of you,
Asleep I can't fall.
Staring at my phone,
Wishing you would call.

My heart still broken,
My mind going insane.
You're the only thing,
Going through my brain.

I miss you babe,
I miss your touch.
Not having you in my life,
It hurts so much.

I miss having you here,
Showing you how much I care.
Sending you roses,
Running my fingers through your hair.

It's hard to accept,
But I try to understand.
At this point right now,
I can't hold your hand.

My poem doesn't change anything,
I just like to write.
You mean the world to me babe,
Have a wonderful night.
Does
a word
die
when
it has been said
Or
does it
live through
in
another's head?
I'm trying for you
To be the best for you
To work hard for you
And make a world for you

I want to be there for you
And always share with you
I'll hold your hand for you
Because I care for you

I'll draw a picture for you
In a notebook for you
To show my feelings for you
Or to be silly for you

I'll always smile for you
Show my pearly whites for you
And never argue with you
But only fight for you

I'll make books for you
Like I wrote this poem for you
And create universes for you
Out of inspiration from you

My heart beats for you
And I get out of bed for you
Because the sun dims in comparison to you
And the world is bleak without you
Baby girl, you’re at an age where boys are smirking and staring down your shirt. Before you mistake perverted spurts for flirting, I want you to make sure that your first time isn’t blurry. His words will emerge like something unheard of, and you’ll drink it in until you’re tongue-tied and stirred up, but baby girl, don’t you dare get ******* up and love drunk. I know those muscles are ***** and buffed-up, but you deserve better than some punk in a pick-up. Some chump will try to hush your “I don’t think I’m ready”, so you better speak up louder before things get too heavy. Some hands will hold you, and some hands are deadly. When your hands get too sweaty because you feel unsteady, you push him away because you are a lady. Most guys are shady and will try to degrade you, but you throw back grenades, because that’s how I raised you. You will crave space and he will crave lace, but don’t you ever forget you are not any boy’s playmate. You are not a buffet. You are not a hair-sprayed, bleach blonde cliche. You are graceful, my angel, and anything but plain.  So don’t ever feel like you’re only halfway. When you feel outweighed by the brave girls in tight jeans, remember you’ve got a heart that is just bursting at the seams. These social scenes and dreamy teens are nothing in the scheme of things, so don’t be intrigued by the idea of being the reason for all the senior boys’ wet dreams. Don’t be deceived by how carefree and fun *** seems to be. It is a big deal, and it should always mean something. So feel free to flee if it doesn’t quite feel right. See, when mama thinks of her first time, she kind of loses her appetite. I lost a part of my life to a guy who only loved me part-time. While my mind was being silenced by the liquor, he climbed on top and defied the boundaries of his zipper. So baby girl, if your hips and wrists are ever pinned, don’t you dare give in like your mama did. I forbid you to quit, because I taught you to fight until you win, and I’ll be ****** if you ever have to cry alone like I did. Life is a big bully with big fists, and sometimes you’re going to take a blow to the ribs, but when that happens, you spit the blood on the cement and say, “Hit me again”. Other times, you’re going to feel like you’re too big for this world, like your skin is stretched too thin, but you’re still my baby girl... you’re still just a kid. A kid with knobby knees and sob stories. You’re still small and naive and the thought of you growing makes mama uneasy. But one day, you’ll leave me, and I’ll let you free, because I have to believe that you’re nothing like me. You are everything beautiful in this world that I raised you to be.
It’s not a new story;
Girl meets boy
Boy is beautiful
Girl is scared
(because every beautiful thing she’s ever seen has died)
Girl keeps quiet
Boy destroys himself
Girl spends her life alone
(her only comfort is she was right, in the end)

— The End —