I am fine, honestly. I've come so far from where I've been.
2. Look at my wrists. I told you I stopped.
3. Those aren't scars, it's just the lighting.
4. What? No, I wasn't crying. Idiot.
5. Of course I slept last night. Why wouldn't I have?
6. Yes, the nightmares stopped. I can breathe again.
7. I already ate. No thank you.
8. I'm finally over him, and I'm ready to fall in love again.
9. Don't worry. I am well enough to help you with your problems. I am okay.
10. I am safe. I wouldn't dream of hurting myself again.

I should have told you the truth. Maybe I wouldn't be in this lonely mess.

10. I'm not safe, and I need someone to take care of me. Please don't let me out of your sight. Something could get me, and that something could be me.
9. I'm sorry, I just can't help you. I can't even help myself. I'm afraid I'll make whatever you're going through worse. I just can't handle being at fault. Not again.
8. I don't think I will ever love anyone as much as I loved him.
7. I'm starving, but my God does it feel good.
6. I haven't slept for three days, and I can't see straight.
5. I can't sleep without you here.
4. I've been sobbing for hours. I know you heard me, and I know you don't give a ****.
3. I carved your name into my skin.
2. My wrists are clean to keep your questions at bay. Please don't check my thighs.
1. I have never felt worse than I do today. And I know tomorrow will be a new hell, and I would do anything to keep it from coming.

Anything.

Is see her standing over there,
looking in the mirror
comparing herself to others.
She's hating herself,
because she doesnt have,
the beautiful ballet-arms,
or the widest gap,
between her thighs.
I never noticed,
how skinny she was,
until now.
I could almost,
see right through her.
Every time she concentrated more,
on perfectioning her dance,
you could see the layer of insecurity,
covering her capabilities.
She's passionate,
and has talent.
But she doesn't believe it.
And in her head,
she never will.

-a.s

we used to never hold hands like that,
with mine on top and yours on the bottom,
i was too small
you were towering like some office building calculations running through your mind,
yet art on the tips of your fingertips,
and I was short like the stack of books by my bed,
and it was like a mix of night and day when my hair spilled down your golden skin,
golden hair,
tousled blonde like some kind of lion lying on the bed,
veiled in a dark slumber.
you stroked my skin and it sent shivers down my back,
and kissing you was like lying in summer sun,
pleasant,
and you’re so different from what I have now,
because now I have fall kisses,
on a bed of crimson leaves,
with another blonde haired boy but this time he’s a wolf,
and this time he holds me while we are skin on skin in a forest of cattails underfoot,
the stubbed filter of a cigarette to my left,
our clothing to my right.
he’s full of fire,
it’s all over him, on his skin, branded across his face,
but I don’t love him,
i just like the way he says he loves me when he’s looking at me like sunlight filtering through leaves,
with his crystalline blues,
biting my lips with passionate ferocity

I don't know why I hate myself so much.
How can I loath the body I was gifted,
Cry over the sincereness of my very own personality.
How can I tear down the height of my happiness,
Look myself in the delusive mirror just to accept it's biting lies.
How can I break this beastly habit?

Crush:
An intense but usually short-lived infatuation.
Fantasizing about the relationship that could happen.

Shy:
Timid, easily frightened away.
Although the wanting to just say hey.

Wonderwall:
Someone you find yourself thinking about all the time, the person you are completely infatuated with.
But the wish for all the shyness to disappear is still here.

Nervous:
Highly excitable; unnaturally or acutely uneasy or apprehensive.
The wanting to meet but still playing defensive. Accommodated by umm, uhh, ummm.

Hello:
Used to express a greeting, answer a telephone, or attract attention.
Hi, umm. Don't blow it, don't blow it.
Hi! I think you're cute, pretty, adorable, beautiful, lovely, gorgeous. Would you like to go on a date?

Date:
A social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person.
She said yes.

Happy:
Delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing.
She is not just a thing, she is my everything. She makes me very happy.

Love:
A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
It's a four letter word that can have a million meanings and yet only one.

Marry:
To take as an intimate life partner by a formal exchange of promises in the manner of a traditional marriage ceremony.
I take you to be my wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us apart, and this is my solemn vow. I love you.

You:
You mean so much,
Yet I do not have a definition.
Because you always seem to surprise me.
No words in this dictionary can describe your overall beauty.
Amazingly, I'm at a lost of words.

Beautiful:*
The dictionary's crush;
A person who is reading this.

I fell in love only once
I didn't know what it was
at the time
it was only lust
it was only a game to see who would fall broken hearted first
to see who'd dare to say those words that mean so much
to see who'd forget that things in this world don't last forever
to tell a story of misery
to see who'd become sick and bored first
but then we shared secrets and danced while drinking ***** under the moonlight

A smile on her face
But tears in her eyes.
She wakes up every morning,
Hoping to die.
Kneeling on the floor;
Head raised to the sky.
Praying to God,
And asking Him why.
“Why am I here?
When can I leave?’
Remembering the days;
She used to believe.
Cracks show
On her porcelain façade.
She plays her part well,
But some days it’s hard
To put on a smile
And act like she’s fine.
Walks around laughing
As she tries not to cry.
Home from school,
Rocking under blankets
Eyes clenched shut.
Waiting for a day,
Where they’ll let her give up.
Day after day,
With her broken pride,
Her heart is still beating
But she isn't alive.
They’ll be a day
When her eyes won’t open
No cries heard
No words spoken;
Her act will end
The curtain will fall.
Frail and broken she’s given her all,
And as her life
Slowly goes
Her mournful story
Comes to a close.
They couldn't save her.
What went wrong?
Now it’s too late.
Her life is gone.

"Love and pain go hand in hand"*
he said to me with roses.
And on the concrete ground where our eyes first met
the thorns cut thru my static, once numb chest.
He took the key he crafted when lands forced us to part
And the chains remained binding, wrapped so tight,
locked to him forever more.

He bound me up that night at the docks,
the city rush became the soundtrack of newfound love.
We imprinted our existence to his leather-bound book,
a story that became etched into my soul
in a language only he could decode.
Time passed quicker than the cars I almost still hear echo.
Too soon he was locked in pages of the past

That night at the docks, the willows enraptured,
welcoming us home, we found our kingdom.
We clung to the scarce grass as if we could hold
on to that moment in time for eternity.
It blew on with the wind, singing a cadence on repeat,
so deceptive yet ever resolving
Each second became the last
Being late never tasted so bittersweet;
For we became kids with no concept of time
and no grasp for words.
Silence never resonated so loud
as when we lost all will to speak.

I yearned to learn every reflection of your black hole iris
Longed to learn each blinding shimmer, no matter how lost I might have become
I felt something in a familiar gaze,
a desire forgotten0, or not yet found
The water before us mirrored broken reflections of his sparking eyes
The skyline before us could have never over shined
his beautiful silhouette, illuminated beyond the moon, city or stars.
But, love and pain go hand in hand
I am forever more reminded by these scars