It's been days since I've seen you.  Your sharp blue eyes are starting to drift away.  Your freckled face has faded itself to white.  I wish you would talk to me.  My head tells me your sorry, but my heart says you're playing me like a drum.  I can't tell you how much your voice excites me.  The tone in which you speak can make my body, tingle.  Too bad you ****** that up.  how dare you try to force me into the oblivion that is your love. You've been all the things i never wanted and the best thing I'll never have.  I won't apologize for the lies you told, I won't feel sorry for the things you did.  I'll just smile, saying "thank you, please don't come back again"  contrary to popular belief, I think you're ******* beautiful... in your own mind.  I hope I don't offend you with these words.  your arrogance is blinding, ignorance is bliss.  Take time to think about this, you won't.  your too stubborn to give in to your long-lost confidence,  your too divided by the drama and cigarettes, I can see right through you.  I guess, you've given in to all the thing I said you would.  I'm tired of giving you all the answers, have fun with life's test, all of what I've said is lost because, Its been day since I've seen you.  Those blank blue eyes, have faded to black.

I'm hyper and really just want to write,
I tried to write you a Sestina,
But those old forms of poems are really hard to stick.
So instead I thought I might
Be able to show you something new;
Something that hopefully won't make you sick.

You see, it's 4 o'clock in the morning now,
And I have too much energy,
Perhaps it's just the spiced wine and tea.
I wish we were on a ship's bow
So i could hold you up
And let you watch the waves of the sea

Crash against the boat. But we aren't on a ship,
or near the ocean, or even together.
Not yet anyway, though perhaps one day we will.
We were each supposed to place a pack upon our hip
and hit the woods for a while.
That didn't work out. But it's all good still,

Because that was only once chance in a thousand!
Every day there are tons of chances.
Perhaps we can go sometime to the woods,
Just us, and the sky, walking over all that solitary land.
Then at night, when the moon comes out,
We say goodnight and cuddle, if you would?

I want my energy back, this ****** illness took it away
And I'm just not right without it.
I think I'm losing you to someone, that you're almost gone.
I thin about it a lot, when I'm awake, almost every day.
It hurts everywhere, not just the heart.
I care too much, and fear that your anger has been drawn

Out by my constant want to see you, or hear your voice.
So I tell myself not to talk,
Because you don't want to respond: -- but then you smile.
When you smile I no longer have a choice,
I have to talk.
It compels my very soul to talk; and write; and go that extra mile.

Then I realize that I am lost in a world I do not know.
That the extra mile no where near me,
So I can't possibly run far enough to go down it.
I just want very badly to be able to go
For you.
Though this is something to you I can't admit.

We don't talk much any more, or hang out,
or do anything really.
I bet it is my fault, that I did something to you,
Because it is always me that is such a clout.
What did I do?
Is it because I kissed you when you had the flu?

I said I didn't care and kissed you when you were sick
because I thought... I thought
It might have made you happy knowing that I didn't care.
But I guess that didn't matter, it just showed that I am thick
and oafish where you're concerned.
Though I'm glad you decided to come over to my lair,

At least that once, two weeks ago, when last we really kissed.
Don't worry, no one will see this,
It is too real, has to much of me in it, and too much of you.
We talked a lot, you learned me, and let me learn you, and that will be missed.
If you decided that I must leave,
I will listen, whatever you say, though for a while I will be blue.

I am jealous of the other that you see when you want.
It angers me, but
That was the deal we made that day:
That I would wait, and keep my emotions gaunt
So you could have you fun.
And I just want to be serious, and date you in every way.

I don't know what all that means, but I will be here.
If I leave you now
No one else will come along for me.
So I will wait right over there,
You see that corner?
Yes, the one by the tree is where I will be.

So please (please), just come sit with me and talk,
And hold my hand.
I need to know what love is.

I am not in love,
Well at least I don't think I am,
I mean what is love exactly?
Is it like some crazy obsession with some special person,
Does that person have to be even special?
Like I'm not in love,
Or at least I am pretty sure I'm not,
I would know, I least I hope,
Isn't love, like crazy,
Like indescribable, unattainable, a mystery in itself that cannot be written down and understood in just one poem,
So I guess I'm not in love…
I want to be though,
Although maybe I am because my mind sorta drifts back to you every now and then,
You and your vast mix of imperfections,
Like how you complain constantly,
And how you never know what you want,
And how you insult me every chance you get.
You aren't afraid to be mean, and call me out for my flaws,
Like you don't worship me like other boys do,
I mean, if anything we are friends, but perhaps I like you more...
Weird how it just is ok when we are around and we can talk to each other, openly, with out any censoring whatsoever…
I know more about you then I ever wanted to know,
You remembered my birthday,
And knew when I wanted to be kissed,
Are we just too stubborn to be each others?
Or has fate just not yet allowed us yet,
But I don't know, I just feel normal around you,
Like ok, and If I had a life with you to feel that way,
I be happy, forever
And no perfect boy could ever recreate that mood within me like the way that you do

...

I'm A Lab Rat
                        You Heard Me Right
I Am An Experiment Of The Divine
                        Everything Simulated
Same Smiling Faces And The Scowl Of Enemies
           The Same Endless Loop Of Activities
Work Everyday Of Your Life
To Find Whats At The End Of The Maze Is Paper
Vials Constantly Puncture My Skin
                            Injecting Emotions
The Divines Hands Constantly Working
   No No No You Will NeverFinish This Maze
How Much Depression Does It Take
                 To Crush The Human Spirit
One Of 7 Billion Mice
  Our Lives Composed To Have Ups And Downs
So Close Yet So Far
                Dont Let Her Finish The Maze!
Make Her Loved One Crush Her Soul
                     That'll Slow Her Down
I Am A Test Tube Baby
              Born From Experimental Parents
I'm Tired Of Being Torn In Half
                   Trying To Create A Future
C'mon It's Only About 80 More Years
                 Its The American Dream Baby
It's The Divines Dream
To Understand Us As We Try To Find Our Way
So I Sit Here With Straight Lined Lips
               And Eyes That Can Peirce Flesh
As They Decided To Play
               A Little Devotion Will Never Hurt
Lets Test Some Chemicals
Greenhouse Gases Inhaled Through Tiny Lungs
I Want To Believe There Is Good In The World
              Now Those Beliefs Are Crushed Too
But From The Concrete
               Who Knew A Flower Would Grow
    *I Always Have Hope Of A Better Tomorrow

I like you.
Or at least I like who I am when I'm with you.
When I look into your eyes,
I'm on a different planet.
I've always liked you...
Even before everyone else did.
I still do...
And I don't know if its worse if you know,
Or worse if you don't.

Two snowflakes descend toward the ground.
One lands on the head of a man,
The other on the outstretched tongue of a woman.
The man thinks little of his snowflake,
while the woman is slightly amused by hers.
The man sees his as one of many landing at once,
while the woman's snowflake stands out.

During the descent of these snowflakes,
two things happen in particular.
The man is staring at the woman,
while he bumps into a passerby.
A student is taking a test,
while his friend is sleeping through it.

The snowflakes collide with the man and woman
in a seemingly accidental way.
The man and woman are unaware
of any particular snowflake coming at them.
But the snowflakes seem to follow a path
dictated by the wind,
as if aiming for their target.

The man is unaware of the passing woman
because of his fixation on another.
The man, along with the passing woman,
is also unaware
that they will be married in the future.
The student taking the test
will receive an A in the class.
The student sleeping will receive a C.
They each will go on to graduate
and have similar jobs.

The life of a snowflake is short,
but it has infinite forms.
It will melt, reform, and descend many more times.
The snowflake won't be significant
to its target in each life,
but the snowflake is not phased by this,
for it will have many more attempts.

Human life is like the descent of a snowflake.
It is made up of small moments
that we may or may not be aware of,
and that may or may not be significant.
Its time span is short,
and even when it is significant,
the significance is slight.

Unlike the snowflake,
humans aren't certain of having infinite forms.
The life that exists now
may be the only one given.
Human life should be spent
like the snowflake aiming for the tongue.
There's no guarantee that you'll make it,
or be remembered for it,
but if you have no direction,
there's no guarantee you'll have another chance.