Lets begin:
Soft skin-
A moment in,
You're afraid to let go.

I can hear my wrist watch beating in my head like a constant reminder of you- tick, tick, tick, tick. And  I'm not complaining but it would nice to know if you think of me too. My room is silent again - the kind of silence that you can hear, I'm not sure if its true but in hoping you think of me too. It's the middle of the night and I lay awake writing- I'm not trying to be rude, but am I the only one fighting? Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a hurry, I'd wait five hundred years if Iknew not to worry- that one day- you will or won't, be mine.

Awkward would be the word to describe me...
Around you.

And I don't mean physically,
around you...
Like two bodies intertwined.
I mean emotionally...
I am emotionally wrapped around you.
Like a reader to a page turning  novel
a singer to their next note,
All of these things float-
On my awkwardness of you.

It feels like snow in the summertime
A funeral on your birthday-
The moment when you're afraid to let go
But yet,
You have a reason to celebrate.

It feels so right
And yet so very wrong
Something that makes you question everything
And God only knows I question everything.

I've never been so awkward-
I feel like a boy who hasn't grown into his arms-
Like a swimming pool that sits without water,
Kind of like the circle yes-or-no thing.

I guess if awkward is what I'll have to be
Is it fair to say I'm growing?
These feelings are unfamiliar
I know who I am-
But maybe this,
Is who I'm supposed to be...

So,
I'm a little unrealistic.
I put the word brave-
in everything.
If there isn't a reason for it,
I'll create one.

I'll hike to the top of a mountain
and imagine for a moment
that the world is okay...
and that somehow,
that climb
just changed it.

I'm the girl who will iron your pants before work,
Pack your lunch-
And write you a letter that's cute enough for grade school-
Complete with a nickname.

I'm the shower that never runs out of hot water...
Cause the second you feel it getting cold-
I'll give you another reason to feel warm
and teach you that beauty is more than what meets the eye...

Beauty-
Is what meets the skin-
The feelings,
The emotions,
The breath on breath...
The cuddle that gets close to your heart
and the laughter that you hear with your eyes.
The love that I am ready for...
But,
I'm a little unrealistic.

This year will be better,

Good,

BRIGHT, even.

I promise myself that.

And I don’t plan on breaking that promise,

Or breaking any other part of myself

For that matter.