No one ever shows you how fleeting it is
they warn you
they will shout those words into your ears until they bleed
but you wont listen until you see it for yourself
The next chapter comes even if you dont turn the page

Excited to read on.

I saw myself
living in a green cottage near the sea
a bike ride from town to fetch fresh fruits
my lover,
planting new flowers in our yard.

Then the crystal ball broke
and i was back in my room
singing upon the mirror
to a lover that didn't exist
But with hope

i push through each day,
a step towards that green cottage near the sea.

My mother wore pearls,
like her mother before her
those pearls will sit on my neck too
and I will add a bead
it is only right
for the pearls to be heavier each generation

like corals that stack in the ocean
our **** ups shine back in our children
we are ruined by old pearls before us,
and them ruined by those before them

the cycle will never break
so I wont have children.

Im back again
back in this hole
I seem to only write poetry when im not well
no one I know will see it.
But im back again

I want to say ive been here before
but I dont think ive been this deep
I want to say this is an old friend
the coping mechanism is so familiar
but does its teeth look bigger this time?

I wish I could come back on a better term
it seems like im never well
but really
I only write poetry when im not well.
Anyways, im back again.

There isn't a reason to do this'
He almost said.
but he didn't
and when the pen touched the paper
they were divorced
like a person who faces death
he saw his happiness flash before his eyes

Only 17
still a child.
She walks into the ocean
face barely above the water, floating in the unknown
but the sky burst--

into such majesty
the red, the orange, the paint sliding across canvas
oh how the water moved her

so she shed a tear
for the waves that told her sweet nothings
the sand was a relief
a soft ground to land on
She would die for this.

When I was 5, I looked for God in churches.
but I found his face in ivory and gold, stiff as dead.
It is a sin they say
But I look upon his face
his warmth
his words
and there I found a merciful god
letting my wary head fall in a gentle, gentle sleep.

I think of the calm sea
When i see your eyes
Because calm seas are a guise
The storm is only near by
So destructive, inconsiderate, and selfish!

You voice reminds me of a raging sea
The way your waves hit so hard
With no restraint, no regards.
The pressure that drowns even the strongest ear
The air bubbles that force themselves into your lungs

But your heart is a coral reef
The abundance of life, the determination
Vibrant colors fit only for paradise
Oh so addicting, that adrenaline rush
Such clarity that one stays mesmerized forever

So mesmerized
I sail through the calm seas, against the raging storm, to see it.

I try not to walk that path again
Our hands tangled
For you it meant as much as pebbles did to a river
I knew that
Still, I let myself sank.
And one day- i became stale in your eyes
On that day-I can no longer walk that path again.

Happy souls
so happy to leap into earth
what happened between then and now?
that made your frown so deeply carved into your skin?

Well i hope you are better now
happy soul
i hope you are better now.

I can't even begin to explain to you
WHY it hurt so bad
to watch what was once BURNING
now nothing but bits of flames occasionally
to witness my mother's failed marriages
right in front of my eyes
I CANNOT begin to tell you
how hallow I feel seeing our old videos

maggots upon my heart my dear
chewing out what was once yours.

I reckon
Love is overrated
Among the broken wedding Chinas
the divorce paper rested gracefully
She looked at peace signing it
So fast
So sure
I suppose love is overrated
For those that are unfortunate.

The first time I heard the Earth sang
I cried with all my rarest forms
The earth softly whispered the secrets of us
the past, the present, the future
I saw the history slipping from its melody
There were no more pleasant sound
The colors of the everything fall around me like rain
I tap on the shoulder of my mother
and she cried too.
The earth sings to the sad, tired and lonely,

32,400 minutes
I spent awkwardly behind a desk
stealing little glances at you.

540 hours
you never did notice me
but i know every curve of your face.

360 days
that's all i had
little glances, unfocused lessons, and that golden hair

2 souls
never colliding, frozen in small glances
one in an ignorant bliss; another drying her tears.

The way woman look at woman
like art
she glares first at her eyes
then at her nose
and the crinkles of her smile
the curves of her body
like an icy statue to be worshipped

you would never know
by the way she looks at her
how her thoughts
can lead her so astray.
Like art, that evokes a million emotions.

There is a peace in the morning
the lark singing, but only ever so gently for you
a clean mist that breathes life into the earth.

I wake up to catch the Dawn
like your name
so much magic in 30 minutes.

A kiss between the brows
a hazy lazy smile.
Morning coffee and freshly washed hair

I need not spend my life chasing heaven
it is all around me if i looked harder
even if i must wake from this fantasy.

Do not worry
about money- or how old youre turning
while your body still can
GO! Travel!
Sleep on ****** motel floors if you must
walk to the bus stop if you have to
Rent a tired old rusty motorcycle
Hilk that path
DO IT!
The world is yours
don't be stuck on a single page- dont be stuck in a room
GO!
SEE what the vast universe have for you!
And when you sleep-
I hope you dream of more things than what you're used to.

Hi Guys! jus a shameless promotion,
I own an art page called artienation on tik tok,
it would mean a lot if you followed since its a small page right now

if not, thats okay too!
I hope sunshines and happiness follow you always.

Terrified of letting go
I aim for simple things
just focus on my breathing, his eyes
my hand, how it feels
try to remember the summer breeze
try to remember his hug and touch
try to remember burst of happiness

before I have to be by myself
convincing myself to drag on my hallow shell
before I turn to something else for comfort

I am trying to remember
because for once, I had a reason to want to.

I put the CD in the CD player
a sunset in every fall leaves
they make me think of you
of the colors that burst inside of me
my tea sat alone on the balcony
while I write letters with flowery cursive
my dearest, I said
the Paris light shines bright
grab my hand and dance.

not every wish
comes true for you
the stars know better
and while you cry about them forgetting your wish
they smiled
they did not forget
theyre simply waiting
to give you something better.
you just dont know it yet
like a little child
who doesn't know her parents
rejected her pleas for a new teddy bear
because there will be a puppy
under the christmas tree this year.

The value of life is easy to defend
when it cannot speak or contest
when it does not even take your food
nor can it take up space

then the value of life becomes nothing
when they begin to breathe your air
when their mouths turn hungry
and they look to you with real eyes

Turning away the same open palms
that you fought to bring here
then
Are you still an advocate for life?

the affirmation was important
as naked as we come, in our most fragile state.
The scars that shamefully hid, now under a shimmering light
skin to skin, breath to breath
as comforting as a new born and their mom
the sliding on the skin, pushed forward by confidence of a "yes"

The sun shines through the blinds
peeking curiously at the young couple
a sweetness in the air
"my love, breakfast?"
"yes."

Peanut the orangutan is an orphan.
He was rescued, recovering fast.
Although, he refuses to climb trees and is anti-social.
This would mean he can’t survive in the wild.
After a long physical checkup, the vets concluded that his problem is nothing more than mental.
The baby misses his mother.

A man who lived near the Amazon forest vanished.
They soon found his body, inside an anaconda.
This is rare, because anacondas do not typically go near human.
It is however understandable; the anaconda’s home is destroyed and is forced to nest near the village.
They killed the anaconda regardless.  

It was a national discovery when they found a white tiger.
The majesty of such a mutation.
God’s gift! The scientists exclaimed.
They studied it, documented it, took pictures.
When the scientists were done,
The white tiger was famous worldwide.
It soon became a prized rug on someone’s marble floor.

My mother loved fish cheeks
but it sits in my bowl every night
she smiles
I shove it down like a hungry wolf
Fish cheeks is simple; it needs no words.

Then I grew up
and brought friends over
"like Amy Tan's story!" They said
laughing at the fish cheeks
as my mother shrunk.

Fish cheeks are a delicate meat
its gentle, its warm, its self-explanatory.
It sits in my bowl, under the loving gaze of my mother.
If that is funny
then I dont understand the humor.

Naked as we came
tangled on the sheets-the sunlight nearly peaked
your skin on mine, a femine smooth and masuline rough
your chest hair did always tickle my cheeks
the smell of sweet sweet sweat in the air
"want some eggs?"
"yes please."

I didn't know poets can be so cynical
when he gazes upon the rose
he sees only the beauty that benefits him
but the thorns
remain a tragic muse

I didn't know poets can be so depressing
that a beauty of the sunset he chases
only to leave angry in the dark
because even the sunset could not inspire
a single gold worthy word in his blank pages

He doesnt know if he is a poet
or if he lies to make stories
until he can lie with such grace
nothing of his is him
he is a nothing, making himself to be something.

I was never this bitter
the kind of person to complain all day
even I find myself dull
the mundane feeling of my parents
I've become who I loathed
I just want to be easily impressed
easily joyed
like a baby overwhelmed by laughter or a silly face
I just want to admire butterflies
the same way I did when I was five.

I think sometimes love will hurt
not in the sense of a heartbreak
more so in the worrying
the longing
the moments in between the highs and lows

And sometimes you make it worth it
sometimes you don't.
In the dusk underneath the fading light
I find your face in my palms
hurting willingly, loving deeply, in a bliss made specially for me.

From the first time you drew breathe
I felt my heart beat somewhere else
other than my own body

From the last time you drew breathe
I felt my heart sink
into that tiny coffin with you.

My love
I am sorry
About how I had to leave you
even when I promised I wouldn't
I know you Never meant to bite
it all happened so fast

My love
I am sorry
I know you will forget me
at least I hope you do
because I will never forget you
and believe me when I say, this wound will never close.

My love
I am sorry
I hope you will forgive me
the way you looked at me before you went
of an ocean of sadness, with a confused gaze on top.
I swore I would never leave you, I should've known not to promise.

The sea will wash away your sins
so don't be afraid to live
for when the creator comes
they will show kindness
that is the only type of creator you should worship anyways.

and if there is no creator
you will arrive to the ocean with nothing to offer
and the sea can wash away nothing else but you.

What a dream it is
Loving you
Your tender touch
Opened me up
Like the boundless skyline

What a nightmare it is
Missing you
An impending storm
The air an uneasy feeling
The longing for release

What a reality
Seeing you again
The storm that takes over my body
Lifting me off the ground
Like Dorothy, i found a fantasy land.

I have used several poetry site
but the people here are still the kindest
thank you for being so nice

and for giving an amateur  
a small chance to breathe.

you were always fussy
even when you were a child
but you had the world handed to you
on a platter of a mother's love
and a father who gave all his care
so much so, that I was left with nothing

You are young, raging like a storm now
and you carry yourself with so much rage
screaming and yelling like the emotions
are bursting through your eyes
You glare at me like the devil possessed you
but you were always fussy

and I know that hadn't changed.
So sleep now, brother
entitled rage can wait.

The New York lights
Are not as pretty as she describes it

The way she sparkles talking about it
While sitting in a field of hay
She makes them sound like heaven
And i had most faith that she would’ve
Became the star of it all

I made it here Carolina
They are not as pretty as you say.

I can't remember the last time
I wanted to type words that touched me
I become so uninspired
like a bee who neglects the beauty of the garden

Poetry is a form of vanity
Let me indulge in it again

I hope you know
you set me on a path
to search for love everywhere

because I want to so desperately believe
that blood doesn't determine family

There were so many thorns along the way
I did find him
no thanks to you

he brings me water at night
and socks when my toes are cold
he is gentle, kind and everything you were not.

You will grow old alone
and sometimes I feel sorry
but most times,

I think of the thorny path you set me on
and I hope you learn how to walk on it too.

some mornings feel like a dream
my foot light, the sun singing
the clouds calling my name

then some mornings
the blanket calls me a *******
and grabs me on

these mornings come more often now
the the sun stopped singing for a long time
it gave up on me

if I feel like nothing, contribute nothing, look like nothing
how can I believe anything else.

I can only assume
how insignificant we are
if we stood only alone

but we are not
in a universe thriving for balance
we balance each other.

our lives connected
transcending time and space
creating colors bursting from within

and so, "with each crime and kindness
we birth our future."

this girl puts the air in my lungs
Into little jars she collects
My fragile heart
Devoted to her like a fool
The sound of angels accompany her steps
The storm will clear up
My dear
And then you’ll love me again

I see you
clearly in the water
of such from womb to tomb connection

I felt my heart beat in your breathe
the littleness of you is ironic
in those tiny fingers grasp my purpose

I look upon your eyes
a perfect blend of love
the proof of the universe's master piece

I will never forget the night I heard you laugh
I swore my world popped in colors
that can only be seen in an epic sunrise.

In those tiny hands,
grasp my entire purpose
a tiny heartbeat with such momentum.

1000 minutes of staring
into a blank wall
trying to find my purpose
I wish I had a life map
show me exactly where to go
because this unknown Abyss
its driving me mad

I could hear it whispering
time clicking louder than thunder
it keeps me awake at night
it follows me like a shadow in the day

he took the form of a tall blank man
who stared with no eyes
I panicked and took a knife
to end my abyss

all the same. hes driving me mad.

Drowning under water
Almost helpless to speak
The ocean taste so salty
Yet overwhelmingly pleasant
I found some sweetness in this bitterness
One is lucky if one still have tears
To cry about something so Precious

You never live till you have had something
Worth ripping your heart out for

Something funny tends to happen
when you realize youre in love
the bitterness of goodbyes finds you
when you thought you were immune
you desperately grab onto them
weeping for just a see you later

Love is not like anything else
it does not thrive in scarcity
but rather in its abundance
do we learn its value.

You make the dawn break
My love
You feel like the family beach house
Warm summer breezes at 4:00am
I hope you find the same peace in my dear
I miss you

I could barely find the shadow
that lurks over my heart
for 2 whole decades,
i cascade into a mess of chaos.

You would've saw it coming
if you paid even a little attention
you watch me sleepwalk
right off a balcony.

you can take that enneagram test
and find out what number you land on
as a grey attempt to know who you are

you can look in the mirror
and make faces till your cheeks hurt
and still not see yourself truly at all.

Someday, you may look in the mirror
and not recognize those eyes anymore
when did they dime? like hallow shapes?

then one day, your face shrivels up
you can hardly remember who you were before
and you look upon your child

you know one day, she will also look upon the mirror
lost upon herself
taking that enneagram test, as faithful as you once did,

The 4:00am air smells clear
Fresh like your kisses
It makes me think of home
When Nova Amor comes on
And we watch cars fly by us
The dawn will break soon
And you will need to sneak home
But right now
I live in a dream.

Alice spilled herself over the table
her body filled with magic happy potions
that gave her a terrible headache with time
"take me to wonderland"
while strange creatures drag her home
and she awoke in a nightmare trance

Why is it so hard to get back to wonderland?