I watch
I understand
and I feel
most importantly

As you sleep
I know
I cannot feel
anything
from you...

it makes one wonder
is love tangible?
or is it humanly fictionalized

written as if this
what you are receiving
and reading right now
is...
well,
love.

can you feel that i care?
I will never know.
by your stare
impossible...
for you are asleep

I'll just lay my head down next to yours
maybe my life will cease
hoping I will cause an effect
maybe just a crease

maybe I can stop you
stop you
from counting sheep

perhaps teach you how to read

or maybe you can teach me to stop loving you
as you sleep.

because this experience I cannot relay to you

cards being shuffled by a trickster

it repeats/ it repeats

control was never there

with a flick of the wrist he made me aware

that life is but a joke,

so ****** it we shall

and the only thing that really matters to this *******

are the cruelties of the bottom line

but don't worry, i will transcend

i will get the last laugh

if the will is the way then he is me

and i am not enslaved but instead

we are at each others throats

fighting over a **** parking spot

every

single

second.

and i stop it from moving

but the second hand still ticks

and theres no such thing as reverse

but tragedy as I glance over my shoulder

oh how the pendulum swings

oh how i try to stop it

I'd better get with the times

you show me no promise
nor have you been able to keep one

you show no loyalty
you cannot justify the means
extremes

you show no mercy
you never had any to begin with

i show no pain
not in this day and age

i show no truth
simply cannot believe it

i show no filth
there's a soap for that

seems that whatever was is
bound to repeat

here

i draw the line

refined

sublime

here.

of straight jackets...
different color for each purpose

dancing shoes to match
polished and ready for me to skateboard with

someone rob me...

i want someone to hurt me...

i'm disintegration on the inside

collapsed lungs

choking

bleeding while i ***** my vital organs
all over the gravel my face forwards into

i turn around and look at the sky
as i reach for a cigarette out my front left pocket
i keep my phone in the right one...

no one ever calls though...

so i take out the zippo she got me on our anniversary
and as i inhale and death fills my lungs

i wonder...

would anyone stop me if i were to be jumping off of a cliff in this straight jacket...

sideways... all i see are different shoes scurrying past my face

and i wonder...

is my closet too full?

maybe it is time i got a new wardrobe

or maybe it is time i put myself in one of those shiny closets

you know...

the ones that you wear your clothes in.

they make you wear a fancy straight jacket

black with silver lines...

and a noose around your neck
designer most likely

you know its the one from that riddle...
"who makes it but doesn't use it... who uses it but doesn't enjoy it"
i fail to remember, it goes something like that...

anyways, it's the best you'll ever look in your life...

i've never understood that...

who's going to be looking at you when its closed?

me...
you attempt to

contempt
i am subjected to

sent from the nether
repent YOU!

spent like the decrepit
i resent you

crazy as the daisies
"I'll love you"

like the devils water
will ignite you

like the temptress you are
I resent you

like the temptress you are
I will tempt you.

You should be scared

I am...

fear is what you receive from me

because I cannot conceive it

there are no such things as boundaries that I will not cross

I learned this from all of you

I tried to retain myself as the pure I once was

but I have now mutated forever it seems

I cannot change now

I cannot ever change

there is a vacant soul here

my skin has dried up

my brain has disintegrated

my blood stopped circulating

my heart rotted to the core

and I cannot fathom life

ever being the same between you and I

doesn't matter who you are really...

Evil is universal, Evil is unbiased

Evil is not selfish though

I sacrificed myself first

I am my first and best subject

now go sacrifice yourself

before I get to you.