My neck broken
Forehead kisses the back of my hand as my stature silhouettes
"The Thinker"

This is not for everyone.

No one else would be as:
Courageous as...
Distraught as...
Pathetic as...
Insignificant.

The end result of the realization that you are one of the ones who tried but missed your shot- the timing didn't work out right...
you are too late.

Working hard now will only give you a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, completion

Yet it still stands
Your tree bears no fruit.

The longest sigh
The laziest, deepest,
dragging of steps through mud.

You will never be...
Begrudgingly.

Alternating between facing the inevitable stuck-still,
accompanied
by the hair of doubt..

The hair of doubt,
Contrasting
The impossibility you cling to..
Contradicting
the probable.
...all the while weathering under an umbrella of uncertainty.

A knot.

...or at least being under the naive guise of youth, tainted with the dementia of infatuation

What if I really believed you were my one and only?

What if my love for you is as real as it ever was?

I still make love to you every night
Even though you left me
Alone I stoke the fire...
Together we shall burn-
Perpetually.

I let you live here rent free;
My beauty,
My lessee,
& naturally I
The lessor.

You spite me.
I allow you to

Every night is that same day
That same fight
It blurs a little bit more with every play

Every night I go to sleep in that day.
Every night I relish in the fact that...
As insignificant as it may seem
I'm the one who had the control that day

Every night I get to relive that moment.
Every night you are forced to see it my way.
Every night you are to face the me you tried to avoid so desperately.
Every night you are made to face the love you neglected so miserably and I remember every single detail.
Every excruciating detail of your struggle, to the breakdown, and finally acceptance of what you had comin to you; my love.
I ***** you that night.
I raptured you that night and I relive it as I ******* to the idea of spiting you and you just took it and let it happen because you knew you were finally coming clean about who you really were and how it made no difference what happened to you one way or another...

I remember my being a romantic
Every single night before I go to bed
I still love you to this day you see...
I said it back then and it still holds true.

I remember my being a romantic-
BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I REMEMBER ******* YOU!

For dead is where I begin, Indebted.
& that is where I’ll stay,
Despite the way I feel today
Despite my tiresome aversions
I will hang myself before the opportunity for any detour

Deter…
I will deter myself.  
I will prove to myself, once again,
That I, am the master of my demise

The rue in ruin
My own failure
and then…
I’ll lay my head to rest.

For tomorrow is over.
A new beginning in which to distract away from a new
To make the same mistakes I’ve grown so familiar to…

To a broken neck, one in which reflects my irregularity

To walk with my head down…

Past the bridge of contemplation, contemplating-
suicide.

Despite refrain,
To spite restraint
To the end.
& never make it-

to the end,
My End.

I shall be received

that beauty's only skin deep...

so while one little girl's crying has now stopped
it has transferred to the one with acne beneath her?

If words have such strength then why have we attached such a strong word
and then stapled, in such a careless way?

We have hurt the feelings of the ugly people
as if there exists such a thing
we have scarred so many children's inner beauty

What about the girl who wants to be a model so bad she based her personality off of it
her skin is literally all she has
and we have now made her to think that she is unwanted and has nothing but her skin deep beauty
so she needs a man who understands her pain, a man of the same skin...
surely only he could know her pain
cut through all this vain and all is lost
because men and women are not one in the same
especially nowadays

Far worst the girl who is in between
feeling distraught over her ugly friends and trying to save them
meanwhile being jealous over her superficial ones who "stick" together

While the ugly find each other
and the beautiful set a bad example
perpetually...

I look for the girl named compromise
she knows the struggles of which I surmise
and maybe, though society seems to bind us
fate will come along and find us
and remind us
that beauty is not deep as the skin...

It is as deep as the soul within.

These down times are what really make a person...
I will put an end to this... somethings gotta give...
victim of circumstance and while I'd stay and keep trying...
you were not there to console my sighing
so it's better I go, no time for crying
and change your mind the same as your lying.

Well honestly now,
Is it not apparent that we over-use the poor man idiom?
We are torturing our own kind
Human contact is for the rich
and as long as I am in text
I will be only worth as much as my words are spent
only worth as much as my discouraged intellect
only worth as much as the poor man's breath

who was never given a chance to progress
and it was the very same intellect that caused his distress
and so he smoked himself to death.

I woke up cold in a dark house, not a home
I woke up in a cold sweat all alone.
I don’t know why I even woke up at all…
Most of the time I don’t
I have nothing ahead of me
Nothing to look forward to that is
It would be a break if I had solely nothing ahead of me
But of course I am contained
Repressed, oppressed, stressed, depressed
Surely I am confined
And sometimes I die

Upon waking up again I choose to sit up in my bed in the dark
And within the black it is just my consciousness and my thoughts
My existence, reflective of the black, becomes one with the absence of light
Sometimes I sleep and my brain continues thinking in my head
Only to think about emotion whose practical use is now dead
Even if I had left
It was through the light of day that I had slept
Even if I had left
There would be nothing that can quell the aches in my chest
This house took my everything I had ever felt
These sheets, I acuse them of theft
Even if I had left
I would never part from the bed.