Until I write the perfect masterpiece; a novel so sweet
No one will know who I truly am; the real me
No one will know my real cause; my theory
Until I write a book; no one knows me

all the shine has shone away;
no one even knows.
wanna throw my phone away;
get rid of the lows.
an evolution so strange;
all that we could.
need a little bit of change;
live in the woods.

-

I realized I had been chasing a fantasy my entire life;
that what I had wanted more than anything, was not real.

Immediately,

shock subsided as the intense sensations of stomach movements prevailed...

What kind of world is this?

What kind of place are we living in,
where { we can imagine what is perfect to us,
but never obtain it } ?

I am broken from defeat.
I am ready for the next world.

What good is a strong hand if you nev­er touch?
What good is a kind heart if you nev­er love?

I used to go to bed at midnight
every night before I met you.
I used to build houses out of dreams
that I made up on a whim.
I used to go outside and stare at the stars,
looking for two that match.
Then I found a light shining from afar;
it wasn't in the sky, and it didn't make much sense.
It felt like I had been asleep,
and then I woke for the very first time.
I had risen from dreams time and time again;
I had lifted myself over and over,
but no one else had carried me.
Then as you looked down on me,
like nothing else was more important than our gaze,
I felt something strange like never before;
I never wanted to sleep again.

You make me betray my instincts.
...a constructed fool,
built from lies.

You drag me down and pull me up.
...a puppet show,
waiting for applause.

You fill me with false hope.
...an endless gesture,
futile as dry dirt.

They tell me to run far away
But behind the scenes
it's just you and me
I close my eyes and feel the breeze
and I want to take you home

How sad it is,
to watch a middle-aged man
grow older
with each year
and faster
with each invention
that rises
into our youth
I will
some day
be a dying mother
or aunt
unaware
of the intricate
changes surrounding me
building
a new world
as mine fades
away

We're not supposed to be the same.
We're supposed to be the world.

Thank you for watering me each day, like a summer rose,
even on the days when my thorns ***** you,
and even on the days when my petals fall.

Pay no attention to that circle.
We're here now:
the real me,
& always you;
just us two.

Curséd outsider
Forever I may be
I've done this to myself
I do not blame thee

I never thought we could,
then we did.

I never thought to dive,
now we swim.

I tried to get all my love from one person.
I tried to make him give me everything.
I wanted something that didn't exist.
A clone of me: to go where I go,
And do what I do, and agree with what I say.
That doesn't exist.
I wanted him to be my answer to eveything.
No, it couldn't be.
I realized this was foolish.
One person can't do that.
There's a reason there is so many of us:
To play different parts.
Not be the same.
So I realized, I had to get certain things from others
And not him
And this was not a betrayal
Or a battle
This was letting go of what wasn't real.
What isn't real.
Finding others to love me the way he can't,
Just as he finds others to love him
The way I cant.
I am not invincible or all-knowing,
Though I like to think I'm close.
This lesson is just one more reason
To call me little
Oh how much more is hiding in the slits of my brain
I'd love to see, though it's painful
Knowing the truth
Knowing things you thought you loved
Don't even exist
The things you wanted
That you'll never have
But in hopes of gaining something in return I guess
Maybe not as full or tasteful
But it's something
And it's healthy, because it is a balance
So you learn to live with it
And let go
And enjoy the freedom of it
Because you were trapped before
And confused, certainly
Not anymore
You know the right from the wrong
And it's only a matter of execution at this point
A great start
A great beginning
Hello love
Hello world

wandering eyes of the past
shrivel and crack

all i see is you

Is love logical?
Is it topical?
I beat the tree and nothing falls.

Is it random?
Is it fandom?
I'm your biggest fan, so please sign!

Is it something?
Is it nothing?
How do we understand it all all?

Is it wishing?
Is it kissing?
You've got yours, so where is mine?

Is it easy?
Is it greasy?
Like driving a car down the highway.

Is it crazy?
Is it hazey?
Where does this road take us?

Is it fate?
Is it dates?
Let's do your way, then my way.

Is it make believe?
Is it what we conceive?
I don't think anything could shake us.

Is it ***?
Is it a hex?
Hypnosis at its finest.

Is it a look?
Is it the books?
Are our ideas the same?

Is it math?
Is it a craft?
Times. Divide. Add. Minus.

Is it art?
Is it open farts?
Could you never be ashamed?

Is it true?
Is it you?
I'm not sure, but this time: us.

Is is tame?
Is it lame?
We'll  never know if we don't try.

Is it perfection?
Retrospection?
I remember a time when we were happy.

Is it doused?
Is it when you buy a house?
Things are getting dry.

Is it news?
Is it confused?
I just want something sappy.

Is it the cat?
Is it the rat?
Which one did it?

Is it pride?
Is it a ride?
Rollercoasters are for kids.

Is it soul mates?
Is it sulfate?
Which one is it?

Is it fun?
Is it like the sun?
I just want to close the lid.

"If you tell more than 30 lies, you go to Hell."
I did nothing wrong. She pinched me.
I did nothing wrong.

it is in our least comfortable corners
that we find a gap deep inside us
that we have a chance to fill with love

each step

is merely

one stage

leading to the next

so that we may

perform

again

and

again

as they boo

and they clap

Are you a brush for my golden hair,
or a stunningly sharp dagger - so rare?;
Small ends of my skin stand up
in applause for your arrival,
but the question of survival still remains:
A garden of day? Or a garden of night?
I am no owl, but I can see in the dark.
Normally a dog runs at a strike,
But I may look back, I might,
As I watch the sun fade...then grow again:
It shrinks as the light fills me, so warm!
As we share; can we love,
with an endless melody, rather than
an excerpt of being?
Whether yin or yang, I still see the air between...
Is it you too, or only me?
Be my daggerbrush,
because my hair still needs to be cut
after some time --
So, keep me in line,
and I'll look after you, truly.

go out there

find what you want

never let anything

subdue your hunt

I think anything we can imagine
exists somewhere.

Maybe not in this world,
but somewhere out there.

What is the past,
if now it is gone?
What is the future,
if now it is wrong?

Now is the only present,
and this is a gift.
Looking forward and back
are merely shifts.

Puzzle pieces moving,
but in the same frame.
Mind thoughts wandering,
but on the same plane.

Looking back and forward,
to appease inquisitive brains,
to understand that as a whole,
still everything remains.

No time at all exists,
but still there is a ticking clock
which tricks us into thinking
our avid spirits are on lock.

Bare not false numbers,
for only one number is true.
It is named infinity:
you are me, and I am you.

when one day you wake up and realize
it was never the fairy tales that brainwashed your joven soul
or the kind words whispered from a mothers mouth
or the hug from that hard-working father

it was something so opposite and deranged
now forcing you to accept what you had never once imagined
as you slowly heal from the ever-unfamiliar
and walk through flames you never thought you'd touch

then you wake from the ashes of an old reality
as nostalgia is the only place you can call home now
you can never touch the innocence or the perfection of what was
but solely reflect on the future in this new place

and how very foolish you were in the past
and how very cruel the world was for leading you to be

this is it
but somehow
it is still worth it

because it is still somehow substantially better than any other feeling
in the entire world

sometimes
the road to a happy ending
goes off course
but no matter who is driving
you are both in the same car
finding your way
back on the path
to happiness
together
as one

Don't look back!
Let's dance forward...
amidst the waves of your ocean eyes.

it is easy to create a smile when you are the teacher

it is when you become the student

that a smile becomes

something more

a smile

soon represents

strength of overcoming your weakness

and building a heart which achieves limitless possibilities

it is as if

i have been here before

only

it is different now

time and time

again

i find myself here

in tears of joy

meeting my friend

named 'time & connection'

There was not one, but there were many.
There were many, but none were the same.

luring pixies into your swamp
as i catch fireflies on my tongue
we all have our habits, don't we?

Do you see how brilliant you truly are?
Your light shines on every soul in the room,
no matter how near or no matter how far:
your seeds wander out, are watered, and bloom.

Our stories are written

by the actions we create.

Make a story

you would love to read!

maybe our story hasn't finished yet
maybe it hasn't even started
because i know when i look at the cracks in the sidewalk
i still think of you
and when i get home, i hope your scent is still there
even after hours or days

maybe this is our strange beginning
we are both very strange, after all