i walked down the city sidewalk.
amidst the bustle of the cold morning.
those tracks seem so inviting to me.
a bed where I can sleep yet not wake.

i must confess; i almost gave in to it.
almost laid my body on the cold metal.
who would miss me if i never woke?
surely nobody would really care.

forgive me if i've caused you pain.
i'm not sure if love is made for me.

those tracks look so inviting to me.
a place to finally rest and not wake.

Fresh pain carved on pale wrists.

Shadows under green eyes

Tiredness shouts from her face.

             tired of caring
             tired of loving
             tired of believing
             tired of fighting to live

She's too worn out to dry her tears.

To grab the hand that is extended out.

Don't hold your breath.
I'm done fighting for life.
Thank you love for being here.
You were a constant in my life.

Tell the ones around you that you love them.
A day may come where you're unable to do that

Love, you couldn't save me even if you wanted to.

See you on the other side my love.
Maybe it'll be better this time around.
Who knows, we're pretty great in my dreams.

I'll see you in my dreams.

I'm sorry. For the truth I'm to tell.
Please. This is hard for me to say.
But. I looked at my life tonight.
I couldn't find the goodness inside.

I carved fresh pain on my skin again.
Looking for some sort of release.
Searching for some sort of relief.
Not sure if life's worth fighting for.

You're probably disappointed in me.
Angry even.
I can't feel anything right now.
You could strike me and I'd take it.

I called the hotline tonight.
The waitlist was too long.
Instead of waiting, I relapsed.
Ashamed, I'd rather hide my despair.

I'm not sure if I can do this.
I hurt. Everywhere ripples with hurt.

To the people holding out their hands.
Please. I don't want your kindness.
Stop. I don't need your sympathy.

I don't need a shoulder to cry on.
I don't need you to dry my tears.
I don't want your advice or opinion.
I don't want your help.

Leave me be so I can find myself.
Maybe I'd rather be alone after all.

i love you. three words that u should. never tell me because i don't want it.
my head. darling my head is chaotic.
are you sure. you want me still?
even though. i can't control emotions?

i've tried to figure it out many times.
wracked my head for a simple answer.

why would. you want this mess?
i'm nothing special honey.

i'm wild and unpredictable. messy.
i can't even get a grip on myself.
but. for so long i've been trying.
fighting. for the chance to love.
to love you the way u deserve it.

please. don't walk away from me now.
please. take my hand. let me in again.

let me. run my hands down your back.
let me. trace patterns on your skin.
goodness knows. i've been trying hard.

let me show you something new.

a new side. of me and you.

i danced back and forth, looking for a way out.
searching desperately for an escape.
i can feel my skin growing cold.
my nerves are all over the place.

please. don't touch me. i'm fragile.