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All my life I've always thought of happiness as a destination.
Most are familiar with the old adage "oh someday I'll be happy."
I myself have been guilty of saying the same thing when I've been sad.

One thing I've learned about getting over heartache and sad moments is to not dwell on the moment itself and to let yourself be sad and not force yourself to move on right away.

Happiness is not a destination; rather, it's a mood and not exactly a feeling or an emotion.

I encourage all of you to rethink the idea and concept of being happy.

Changing my own mindset around this entire concept shifted my perspective on moving forward after the loss of a loved one or intense heartbreak.
Let me know how you move on in sad time! I'd love to know people's strategies and coping mechanisms
It's been almost a year since I heard the news that you were gone.
Almost 12 months since I heard your voice and held your aging hands in mine.
And it's coming up on thanksgiving and a sudden thought struck me while I was in bed.
This is my first thanksgiving without you.
This is my first time celebrating what I'm thankful for without you.
And these tears are both sad and thankful tears.
I'm sad that you're not here to be with me and I'm thankful for the many years we had together.
I'm thankful for Sunday afternoons spent laughing and making various foods.
I'm thankful for wise words and empathetic energy from you.
And I miss you.
Every **** day.
It doesn't get any easier or better.
Dear stranger

It’s been two years since we’ve last spoken. And seven years since we started existing to the other. I can still remember clearly the first time we met. You were wearing overalls with a paint stained tank top, grey leggings and converse. Your hair was pulled back into a hasty ponytail and your hands were covered in paint. You loved to paint.
I remember how your room was covered in various works of art, and a variety of different boxes of tea had been stacked on the top shelf of a bookshelf that was closest to the doorway. You had always talked about doing art shows, in the hopes of one day making money off your art.
The first time you entered in the very first art show, I remember how ecstatic you were, and the underlying currents of nervousness in your voice as you called me to share the news. You didn’t end up selling any of your pieces, but you were proud that you went out of your comfort zone with your art.
I remember the last fight we had, and I can distinctly recall feeling hurt, betrayed, sad, mad and confused afterwards. I didn’t understand how you could be friends with someone and then have the nerve to lie to their face, as if it didn’t matter how they were affected by your actions. I just wish that you had just told me the truth: you didn’t want to be friends anymore. I would’ve understood that and nothing would have blown up if that was what had happened instead.
I’m probably never going to say this to you, and that’s okay. I needed to get it on paper so that I could let it go and continue on with my life. We’ve gone our separate ways, and sometimes friends do that. I can only hope that we can come face to face once again and not stir up the past.

Sincerely,
A mutual connection
Last we talked, you got in my face saying I was the reason we didn't work out.
That was three years ago, or have you since forgotten?

I had almost forgot you still existed in this world.
And hey, why do you care so much all of a sudden?

What do you care if he and I start something between us?
You're just mad that I wouldn't have *** with you.

Since when is it your place to tell him to "tread lightly" with me?
When did you decide that it was your place to say anything about this?

It's not.
It's not your place to get in my business, our business.

So stay out of it.
Be an adult.

Leave your problems with ME out of our private relationship.
If you have such a big issue with me, take it up privately with ME.
I heard your name again, slipping out of a friend's mouth.
I had to take a second and confirm that it was indeed your name.
For a split second, the world stopped, started, stopped again and started again.
Breathing became complicated for moment, and then it straightened out.
Why should I care that you're still around?
It's not like we talk and I haven't seen you for three years.
Guess I forgot that you even existed, let alone still live in this town.
You haven't crossed my mind since you went off on me and we ceased existing to the other.
I got so busy with my own life that I forgot that you were alive, and I was startled to hear your name on someone else's lips.
Congratulations on still existing and I wish you the best, even though I know I'll never talk to you again.
Take a moment, now.
Imagine you are the largest tree in the world’s tiniest forest.
You are out of place, but undeniably recognizable.
I want to ask you this: are the other trees too small or are you too large?
Do you live to their standards or your own?
Do you want to blend into that perfect little forest or do you want everyone to recognize you and know you for being the biggest and grandest tree?
If you feel happiest as a small tree, then you’re happiest as a small tree.
But if you’re happier as a big tree, then be a big tree.
Don’t conform for the sake of conformity.
Do what you want, be who you want.
I’ve had a difficult time lately figuring out where I belong again.
And I realized I’m a giant oak tree in a forest full of tiny citrus ones.
I don’t belong in this forest, but man do I stand out.
My existence in that forest is making a ****** statement and I swear the world will remember me.
It's been exactly four days since we last spoke.
Four days since we wiped tears from our eyes from our shared pain.
96 hours since the biggest fight we've ever had.
The last time we got mad at the other, we didn't talk for months.
You said that it was my fault that it happened.
And I won't deny that.
We lost five years today.
Five years of the best and worst times of my life.
And it's killing me not to hear your voice right now.
It's a struggle to not reach for the phone and dial your number.
Each time I have to remind myself that we're not talking anymore.
And I don't want you to forget that you and I have always pushed through.
Four days ago, we yelled at each other over the phone , angrily texted our sides, cried and threw our hands in the air in front of the other.
We took a breath and tried to find a way to make it better and we couldn't agree on a solution.
So I walked away and every step I took was an effort.
And for every breath I dragged in my lungs, I watched my walls start to collapse around me.
And for every conversation I remembered, I heard my world begin to break and splinter.
And every day that passes, the hole inside of me grows a little bigger and painful.
It's a hard process to get my head and heart to be quiet when I'm trying to sleep at night.
It's been four days since I heard your voice and felt your hands wipe away my tears.
And today will be as hard as the ones before.
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