I don’t believe in that

It wasn’t love - more of a crush

Whatever it was, I don’t believe in it.

I wanted to hold your hand and I was too blind to see - fogged by misconception

I was too blind to see I was just a mistress in black while your love was away.

I feel cheap and used, like an old car stereo

Play me back and you might get another song - one that you won’t like anymore.

I’ll be over-used and abused. Maybe forgetfulness is a virtue. ***** You.

I won’t be played anymore so just put me back in my case, and store me in boxes down in your parents basement.

You are gone.
Evaporating, the fog drifting through my hands, I clasp at nothing.
But a fragmented memory of us - now just steam from the shower.
Your eyes never saw, like your lips never raced against time to save me from -
Falling down a deep abyss with broken glass on the bottom.
I was there before you meet me, but give me a light to find my way out
Don't re-lock the chains on my poisoned mind.
I am losing it - every bit of it - my poetry now spews blood
Good night, my love.

You are gone.
A flutter of wings from a hummingbird and I sigh once again
You were like an old friend - fixating on shiny drops of water.
When you took your key and left without a note, something snapped (perhaps a bone?)
My mind rolled from side to side, in a sea of emotion - My mind sinking lower and lower until
I realize..

The shiny drops of water were a storm brewing
Rain.

Remembering all my yesterdays
haunt my perplexed youth and the future of my adulthood
I want to remember the innocence my hands once grasped
and forget the bitterness of past
I play all day - with the idea of a better world
filled with literature and tea and no ***** words
pink frills of hope and cold rain on the window
I am no longer a little girl - but i want to be
not worrying about sizes, but if the streetlights are on
Today I wear black tights with ripped seams
but tomorrow these years of being misunderstood and chronically confused
will be a mere memory

Run and don’t come back
inside the walls of your caged mind, ghost moan and scars scratch
on the outside, your smile breaks and your nose grows long
tell me you love me, but demons are inside you
past is coming and future is fading
i never saw you again - past the coffee shop windows
you turned into fog, imaginary
sharp fingers that break down the walls, surrounding me
touching everything that i am - except for my body
you touch only me, your Number Five (vanilla mocha) warms the inside of my mouth, leaking into my soul
drenching it in lies, as you leave
without a tip.

The lies you told burned every bridge
between you and me - reality
red rain falls and fall turns leaves
tiny hands claw behind your eyes, making me trust no one
I turn to walking at night, during the moon’s light
but the ground moves me to tears
your name etched on my wrist causes my fears
You don’t blame yourself, but the green mind of God
but i see you - never moving along
stuck at a standstill
sinking in guilt.

Eye lids droop , lips chap
in this bitter, coldness of winter
a wonderland? - No
small hands etch inside
wrists - telling a story in
silence, turning heads
into mimicking
minds that repeat phrases - making
us all cold inside
goodnight, goodbye.

I am a poetry girl:
my eyes shed red longing, petals fall from roses
only leaving thorns to break through the scarred skin that caresses my hands
the green of trees fill my eyes, asking me about why do i even try
to breathe through the fog

my eyes, my pupils feed on knowledge
feed on literature of the new age and of past masters
who have traveled through the same mind-bending world which path
i have chose to take
the soft trickle of rain become puddles
like girl fades into dust and becomes nothing