She told me she would wait-
She told me she would wait for me.

I've been wondering this whole time-
I've been wondering this whole time, why she didn't wait?

Turns out,
She did wait.

She waited until my lowest of lows,
To take me even lower.

I've told myself over and over,
That if she would just come back, I'd forgive her.

But she wrecked me, after I was wrecked.
She waited until the perfect moment, to wreck me.

She threw buckets of thermite
On my already burning, mangled car.

I guess she just wanted to make sure
There was nothing left.

Nothing left to come back to.

And she's better now. She's happy where she's at.
She can't see me, anymore.

I once tried to get drunk off of hand sanitizer
On a bad night when I yelled at you
After you seemed to fall asleep
But I think it was the night you relapsed

How else would I know
How Purell tastes?

Merry Christmas to all of those who roam this Earth
Merry Christmas to those who tell me I shouldn't be forcing a holiday upon someone
Merry Christmas to all of those people who realize it's the thought of something good that counts
Christmas is a special holiday for many,
Most certainly for the children,
I hope those adults out there don't have to spend it alone,
And I hope those kids have all kinds of marvelous gifts.
I'll surely be sipping on my favorite drink and reminiscing of a dream lost in vain,
But I just like the calm.
Once again, Merry Christmas.

I have such a debilitating pain
You helped me deal with it so well
Where are you?
I miss you.
I'm so lonely with out you.

But, I have a debilitating Central Nervous System Disorder, and

My arms, I just want to make them disappear
My legs, they feel like I need to cut them off, they ache so badly
Want to sever my limbs by any means necessary because they hurt me so badly...
My chest, I get rather short of breath, like I just ran a marathon
My back aches like I've been hit with a baseball bat

It is actually quite like you'd feel, after running a marathon, except I don't get better;

Then now,
You're not here to be the pills that ease my pain
You're not here to be the relief when I just want to cry
You're not here to cuddle and comfort me anymore-
Oh wait, I'll have to finish this later

I have a brother screaming at me
I have parents calling me lazy
They don't understand my awful, awful pain
I have new medication to take your place
But sometimes I take too much

They say time heals all wounds
If so
Then
Why are my wounds getting worse

Why is it becoming harder
Everyday you get better
Everyday I get worse
Soon I'll be...

Hug me
Comfort me
Take away my pain
I need you

Hug me
Comfort me
Take away my pain
Do me one more favor, please

Hug her
Comfort her
She takes away your pain
I'm a lost soul, misplaced in a world without you.

Hug her
Comfort her
She loves away your pain
Replaced me, she's an upgraded model, she's your "Significant Other: 2.0"

Breathing is hard.
Every gasp is like I'm barely treading water
Each second is another under the waves
I am gasping for air
My throat is closing
Somebody help me!?!?!

Seeing is hard.
The salt water is burning my eyes and the skies are dark
I barely know which way is up
I'm wiping my eyes in between the lightning strikes
I'm giving up, screaming, crying pretentiously
The sea will have none of it...

I'm giving up.
I just filled my lungs with salt water, intentionally
This is my last goodbye
I sink like a rock
I close my eyes and think a prayer
This is the end.