I'm spending all of my days in bed
I'm spending all of my time trying way too hard for nothing
I'm spending my energy worrying about something that doesn't matter anymore
I'm spending
I'm spending
I'll soon be spent
All gone
Done.

I don't want to see her anymore

I don't want to hug her or talk to her

I don't want to see her point of view anymore

Because all she does is condemn mine, blame me

...

Or maybe I'm trying really hard

Maybe I'm trying to find closure in the way she cut me off

Maybe I'm trying to make things up

Maybe I'm trying to say, "Hey, I'm sorry. No hard feelings. I know it's hard for you too."

...

But I'm starting to realize

It's becoming all my fault

I'm starting to

Give up

Hate lurks in the shadows
As the *** calls the kettle black
It is getting much darker
My flashlight is going dim
I am finding it harder
To cast light to brighten the days

I just apologized for something that really wasn't even my fault
I apologized because I know you felt bad
I apologized because I'm just trying really hard to be understanding

But don't you understand I was upset too...
I'm upset every day over you, because of what you did too
I swear I just told you

But all you could say back was

"I forgive you."

Here goes another panic attack, I'll surely sleep well tonight.
Don't apologize. You're right.
I ******* ****

Okay.
Three words and a period.
I'll disappear now.

This morning, I was miserable.
My body is wretched, with unbearable pain.

Well I wonder
What does she think of me?
Well it's clear
She doesn't think of me

In all of the great ways I used to know

Well I ponder
What all she thinks of me?
But my fears
Are that she sips her tea

While burning all my pictures in a row

Why am I here
If I'm supposed to leave?
Why is she not
Standing next to me?

Well I guess I'll never know

And that I'll never get to show
How I would love her, All my ducks in row
Though I never was a crop to sow
But I guess I'll never get to show

My love to that girl
That I used to know