where did you go?
you left me here
alone and in the dark
blindfolded by despair
and poisoned by contempt.
running, running
i cannot catch up
no matter how hard i try.
i reach and i reach
to grasp your hand
but you are worlds away.
come back to me
please?
that's all i want.
all that i ask for.
i threw away my pride
and trashed my dignity
in pursuit.
but that means nothing
and nothing means anything to you.
you are blind
cannot see
the blood you have spilt.
you are deaf
cannot hear
my constant cry.
you cannot feel
have no emotion
as i crumble.
you are not human
and you do not love.
you do not care.
simply that.

i destroyed myself
for nothing.

i like to play with fire
but that of a different kind
the one that engulf bridges
to light the nighttime sky.

She lends her pen,
to thoughts of him,
that flow from it,
in her solitary.

For she is his poet,
And he is her poetry.*

-Lang Leav

he pulled me close for a dance
air crisp in the November night
our bodies flow in one motion
skin lit by the moonlight

his lips tasted of peppermint
subtly drenched in wine
he held me tight and whispered
light that he'll forever be mine

but as the months piled on
our bodies began to part
our ties stretched far
forever the tug at my heart

i'm afraid your hands disappeared
along with the rest of you
my feet begin to stumble, unknown
different dance to the same tune.

Sometimes I sit on my bed
Looking at your picture
Your smiling face
Your bright eyes
Oh how wonderful
You made my life

Sometimes I cry & put on Pink Floyd
We used to listen together
About life and struggles
We would talk deeply
We were the only deep ones
That's right, just you and me

Sometimes I wonder where your spirit has gone
Are you soaring in nature?
Are you smiling down from heaven?
That beautiful smile I miss so much
How I wish to see your face
How I wish for one last touch

Sometimes I feel my memories start to fade
But all it takes is a smell
Or a song, maybe an image
And they all rush back to me
At times it can feel so real
Can't believe I lost you completely

Your death is my reminder
To never waste a second
I love you my best friend, my lover
And I'll always long for you
And I'll always cherish all
That we ever went through

If only you knew
About all the secrets
Your sister so sneakily
Hides from you
Like the ones she has
About me

You lied
You said it was me
Despite it all
I was myself
You assured me of that
All logic went away from me
Because I kept doing something
I knew was wrong
I was simply overtaken
By my raw emotion
And my unbearable need
To make you feel loved
They say the road to hell
Is paved with good intentions
I know I meant well
Now look where I am
More without you than I've ever been
Regretting that horrible decision
I just want to know one thing
Why don't you love me?