I've been looking up
I've been looking down
I've been found looking all around

I've been searching here
I've been searching there
I find myself searching everywhere

I've dug deep within
I have given out
As I waded in a humanities lake of doubt

I've been to the East
I've been to the West
All the different places that I thought were best

Been leaning with the left
Hanging with the right
I have jumped ahead and I fell behind

I have searched the North
I have combed the South
Caught myself looking here and there about

I am searching hearts
I am searching souls
Searching everywhere a mans allowed to go

I am looking in
I am looking out
Listening intently for the slightest sound

I am looking high*
I am looking low
Looking everywhere
*I think that love could grow...

Today is going to be the day
I turn my life around
As I pull my truck over
To load up what I just found

I see it as my destiny
Someone tossed out their set of weights
With me at the moment in the mood
To join the fitness craze

So I open up, run around my truck
As my regiment begins
Wish I could find some neighbor kid
To give this old man a hand
And why they make these weights so heavy,
I'll never understand

I drive straight home excited
Back my truck down the drive
I'll haul the stuff in later
As soon as my arms come back to life

3 hours later...

Carrying what's soon to be the new me
From the truck into the house
To late to clinch the **** cheeks
As my entire spine just fell out

3 months later...

Still in intensive care
And mounting chiropractic bills
I'm thinking of just going the new American way
And get my muscles from taking pills

I'm checking the post daily
Can't tell you how exciting this is for me
Since I called the 1-800 number
From that mail order magazine

While one day sitting at the dentist
I picked up said magazine
A full page ad which made me gasp
A colorful array of personalities

I've never really had much of one on my own
So I ordered a couple dozen
Sitting here anxious for my order
And so far I've seen nothing

I'm wearing a path to the mailbox
It should have been here by now
When it does arrive I'm first taking out Impatient
Then placing a call to tell them about themselves

I hope I remembered to order one Romantic
Cause I'd sure like to impress Mary Lou
As it now stands I feel less a man
Around her I don't know what to say or do

Imagine my surprise when the box finally arrives!
I open it up with a slight giggle
Just like that the personalities fall into my lap
For a moment I felt just like Sybil

Lets see there's one that's Strong, one that's Flirty, one that's Shy, one that's Quirky
One that looks like it's Mighty Proud
A personality that's Fun, Debonair, a Serious one
All I know is I want to try them all out

These days when you see me around...AKA "The Man About Town"
The one that has the large following of friends
Everyone loves the tales that I tell, now that I tell them so well
The way I weave them from beginning to end

They all want to hang out with me, there's something special they see
Looks like I've come out of my shell
Now I don't think twice as I jump into life
Since things have been going so well

And all those personalities I own, I now leave those all home...
I keep the box locked high up on a shelf
I found the best personality I have is the one I was born with
And that people tend to like me for myself

Ever since my early days of youth
I've been questioning
All the hidden secrets of life
And exactly what it means

So imagine my excitement
When I climbed the mountain top
And asked the man of wisdom
Just what it is he thought

Where he said...

Life is like a toaster
With people dropping in and popping out
Some may stay in the heat of life for too long
And find themselves burned out

Life is like a toaster
If you're kept down long enough
The heat that's applied to your outsides
Only strengthens your inner crust

Life is like a toaster
Some people are shiny on the outside
But lift them up and what you see
Are the crumbs they leave behind

After all these years of searching
I climbed high enough to learn the truth
With the meaning of life now by my side
I knew just what I had to do

I went straight back home to my people
The ones that I could help the most
I started at the local breakfast diner
Where I ordered up some toast

I killed a man...

The gun went off in my hand
I didn't mean to
It was an accident

I killed a man...

He had a family
A loving wife and kids
I wish it had been me

I killed a man...

He served a purpose
His death was worthless
He served a purpose

I killed a man...

I threw the gun away
Into the river
It's still there to this day

I killed a man...

And have been haunted
By the ghost of what I done
It's not what I wanted

I killed a man..

He wants revenge I fear
I see him every night
Inside of my nightmares

I killed a man...

The gun went off in my hand
I didn't mean to
It was an accident, when it was I killed a man

Hanging out new to the scene
So often wonder what that means
As I sit in front of the world's screen
Started in on ...Googling

I typed in a single word
Pressed enter for the Google search
Took me down the path absurd
Where all the lines were blurred  

From there I ventured off the path
Wish I'd known there's no turning back
Marveled at the knowledge that I lack
Like how to whittle your own baseball bat

Just in case you're wondering
Midgets don't melt in the rain
Who doesn't think that that's insane
As I dive deeper into Googling

The art of bathing a Hindu rat
Skinning a two-headed Siamese cat
The taking of the perfect nap
Standing up while keeping your lap intact

How to delicately pierce a Rhino's ear
Dressing up then down a deer
50 different ways a man can cheer
While toasting his favorite Micro beer

Abstract art using cotton *****
How to paint between the lines on paisley walls
Teaching Yankees how the South says ya'll
Lost episodes of the show called Lost

Food served upon the world's menus
Even specialties from Timbuktu
Why the sea is green and the sky is blue
As my googling madness continues

More artwork this time with the jam of toes
How to pick your friends but never your friend's nose
Cleaning of the house without a stitch of clothes
The whole time being careful with the vacuum hose

80's Hairbands I used to like
That now know what bald feels like
Making a homemade Hindenburg kite
One that lands this time

How to handle midlife like a man
Taking a survey of what you could have been
Raising Spider Monkey's  in the comfort of your den
As I keep on Googling

I now find myself Googling out in front
As I'm Googling from behind
Googling up as I'm Googling down
To the left and to the right
I've learned how to gargle Google
That's a well known Google fact
And if you don't believe me
You can even Google that

Life is one long big drawn out drag
For those in the crotch of young
Halfway out the starting gate
At the sound of the starting gun

Running into a solid wall
Called the slowing down of time
With adventure at your finger tips
Waiting just to find

Then age comes around and hits you
Like a ton of bricks
Not knowing what to expect
But you sure weren't expecting this

When your mama told you slow down child
Is this what it is she meant
Waking up on this side of
...wonder where it went

How long has your life been set on cruise
I'm guessing as long as you've been on this ride
You barely remember the town of youth
When years ago you passed it by

When you saw the exit sign
You were in the fast lane my friend
So you continue to ride, just this side of
...wonder where it went

The most precious parts in this life
Are so often wasted on the youth
Why must you show ID at the door
Before you learn that simple truth

And about the time you figure it out
Is about the time you lose
When it's to late to back out now
To late to make a choice in what you choose

Try as hard as you might
To remove life's dings and dents
Your still stuck on this side of
...wonder where it went