but the uncertainty still rests in your eyes.
restlessness crawls through your mind,
and you're still saying to yourself, "i've got to try."

it's happened too quickly,
and you're still holding on to everything.
as you're holding on sickly,
you're looking for just about anything

to break your heart again.

out here, on the roads, we're redemption awaiting our realization.
in here, i'm dead, lost out on the highway, bleeding immensely.
there's a life to be had driving these days and nights,
but i'm here, sitting, watching them all pass by and dreaming.
hardly sleeping, hardly breathing, carcinogenic life,
before a carcinogenic death; nobody wants my organs, they're cancerous.
i'm dreaming, again; in here, i create reality, and after all, isn't it a creation of our minds?
out there, there's people passing, clashing, and making their ways.
in here, i'm working, dreading the deadline i've set for myself;
working from home, working alone, all on a dream we're dying to dream again.
wearing down the weary mind i've got to make your dreams another reality.
like i've said, it's a creation we're all working on
so why am i the only one doing the work for the reality you're dreaming of?
*i'm dying, again; out there, i'm nothing but a dot on a map, drawn out to be a lead in some play.

the slight imperfections
play off the light
as you're enlightened;
i see through these cracks
in the facade you're covered in.

the simplest idea
pulls me in again
towards the destruction;
we're bleeding through, now,
as we're drained of our safety.

the farthest reach
was felt across the span
of time and space again;
through the mind's eye
we still blind ourselves to love.

these masks we wear are cracked and exposing vital spots to the ugliness in our character.

we just can't break our act.

here i sit
above you
above the streets
above the sounds
of the ruined lives
that drive
through these alleys;
here i sit
below the church
beloved by god
below his reign
as his reign drives
us toward sanctity
and through our lives.

we're all looking up
for something;
weather, stars, answers, etc.

here i dream
above my pillow
above the streets
below my window
where you're still driving
yourself toward the end
of the road, and up an alley;
here i dream
below this roof
below the skies
above the ground
where you're dreaming
you'll spend less time dreaming
and more time in peace
through death.

we're all looking down
for security;
placement, terrain, estrangement
of self in a solid form above digging
deeper for something so simple
that we're still unsure of.

there's something in the middle of this
i'm not so clairvoyant to see it
but it's scaring me and thrilling me
and it's causing me too much ****
that i'm starting to lose the touch;
the numbing of my finger tips
is only from the callouses from playing
and they linger, although now
i hardly play.  i only sing.  not well.

it frees my head, let's me feel
less dead; alive in five, i say.
not jive, less to survive for
as we're sure this is where it stays
before the ending, we're entranced;
caught in another ring of life
straining to see the light in the tunnel
as we funnel all the information
to our brains.  to be insane.  to be a frame...


for that picture

through the windows of another idea
and into the depths of the idealism they've formed
around the whole sanctity that's building
and filling in the cracks of the pane you smashed.

with a whiskey bottle out of rage,
broken glass fell in an instant and all has fallen
we're filling in the space it's left
with tape and hopes to keep the chill out.

out of the room and into another
just to breathe for a little while without a dream
in mind; we're dying for a change to fall
upon our laps and down through our veins.

emptied of all your belongings
and now filled with ideas of what it'd be like
with another who'd filled your shoes
just as quickly as they'd been emptied; full.

that for a minute
you're actually alone.
you'd like to think
you had this all figured out;
there's nothing to hide.

you might dream
that for a night
you're actually happy.
you'd like to dream
you had it all in your grasps;
there's nothing worth holding on
to that you've already let go of.  

please continue to let go.